I woke up with my head full of rocks and my stomach a butterfly museum

With several trying to escape up the back of my throat

Pain racks the rest of my body in waves

My brain is stripped of all that happened in the last 24 hours

Regret washes over me- only softly because...

At least for a moment I felt nothing

For a moment I was not reminded of this dull empty ache between my ribs

For a moment my head was in the clouds and my body was up there with it

The clouds were more like vapor I suppose

Surrounding my head in swirling patterns

Blocking every ugly view

Including my own reflection and the intentions behind it

The people around the mirror were only fuzzy thoughts

Only in the back of my mind do those people exist

And with every swallow they become further and further muddied in the darkness

Not one possible consequence riddles my thoughts

Only when the sun rises and I peel open my dry eyes do I think for a moment

And even full of regret I will do it again tonight.

One wrong flower and you might lose yourself

That nectar can make your path wind and blur

Your beautiful pattern is an array of polka dots

Braille made to your own biography

My darling butterfly, please watch your wings  

They tear so easily my love

You are already a patch-work,

Sewn back together after tearing yourself into pieces many times over  

When will you love yourself as I do?

Caring for your wings, staying from poisonous petals

And soaring as far away from them as your wings will allow

My dear please remember your wings were made to flutter

And you to float in the sky

Do not spend all your time on flowers that only cause you to rip out your stitches

He passes that gold chalice down

Full of wine redder than the blood you share.

He knows you can make everything gold but drinking this only once will ruin those chances-

And he hands it to you with a smile on his face.

His own blood made into wine

Through those iron bars on your window

Supposed protection from this deadly spell.

This opportunity for you to become one yourself  

An alleged King

But only to oneself

your frozen heart barely pumps slushied blood all the way to your blue fingertips
you hope for me to grab your hands and warm you even just for a second
your heart is a rock
abiotic and unbeating
just a cold weight in your chest to remind you of your lost humanity
maybe once you knew warmth
but now you don’t even shiver
you are so far gone
you treat me like ice to freeze me just as you’ve been

the moon rises and soothes my heated skin
red and blistered from the sun’s brutal eyes
harsh and judging giving me no blink of a break
a gentle touch caresses and heals my peeling cheeks
staring directly into such hot eyes leaves a piercing feeling through the back of my skull and an orange glow over my pupil
the moon’s soft glow allows my eyes to open wide with wonder no fear of being blinded
warm pleasant air keeps me from freezing underneath that pretty white glow
in daylight the wind is vicious and whips me in the face hurting where I’m already burned
a whole night for me to heal
only to be blistered again

I will tear you apart with my teeth and use your splintered bones as toothpicks before the trial
clean your blood from under my fingernails
your blood so rich and red will drip from the corners of my mouth
so thick and sweet looking
boiled till you blister
sweaty exterior sweeter than the scent of fresh peaches
but the inside was more acidic than I could define
sweet and fresh exterior for a decaying heart
I devoured everything you had to offer
without another thought
except for
I wish I had known

My brain is a brick
Completely made of stone
Yank me from space and through clouds
Back to earth and my statuette body
A little help with a ***** from these poisonous thorns make me feel warm again
Give my lungs air and my veins blood
It never lasts- this euphoric sense of humanity
This utopia of the mundane
Again this suffocating fog of storm clouds will pull me in
Drowning me
My immovable stone lips peel into a smile and smoke billows out
Pink returns to my cheeks and brown to my pupils
My heart jerks into motion, jobless for decades
A white flying saucer hits my tongue and reflex pulls it in
Down into my empty and hungry belly
My joints crick and crack into motion
First thought joy next running from the ocean of darkness
The rose wilts
Smoke turns into only remnants of vapors
And I feel my fingertips tingle- feeling leaving as well as my flying saucer