~

i saw a bee today
and thought about you.
i thought about your jeans
the ones with the bees
embroidered on the sides.
i thought about how you looked that day.
i thought about the way you smiled at me
with wide eyes peering into my soul.
i thought about how; with just a glance
you’d cut me open
everything laid out
displayed for you.
i thought about how much i’d stare
how bad i’d crave our eyes to meet
each time, longer than the last.
i thought about how with you around
the world would melt away
how time would bend between us.
i thought about you
like wet teeth on soft skin
our meetings with god
our midnight sin
i saw a bee today
and thought about you.

~

i don’t always
think about you
with soft skin
wrapped in satin sheets
nor do i always
think about you
with wide eyes
and a forgiving laugh
but i do always
think about you.
i always think about you.
sometimes i wish i could stop.
sometimes i wish i’d never stop.
sometimes i don’t know
what it is i am even thinking of
but there you are.
between each thought
between each flash
an infinite number of neuron's
firing through my brain
an endless electrical dance
and still
there you remain.

that’s the curious thing
about memories you see;
no matter if you’re thinking
about the best ones
or the worse ones
they each leave you feeling
a little emptier afterwards.

i gaze upon the horizon
in the stillness of the night
moonlight spilling  
from the blackness above
as if cut from another realm
pouring into the ocean
a reflection in the water
an ethereal ghost
wandering across the waves forever
in search of their beloved

sometimes i come here
to write only for you;
sacred words spilt on white
when i’m feeling so blue.  
sometimes i come to here
to mourn a love
long lost to time
and sometimes i come
just to remember;
that once you where mine.

and so i had fallen for her
just as day becomes night;
quietly and patiently
without knowing
too then all at once.
the sun sets;
birthing an endless
array of stars;
in that darkness
in their audience
i confessed my love for you.
the universe held it’s breath
time stopped
planets wept
for i had been here before;
i would love you and lose you
in a thousand lifetime’s
if it meant i could have you
for just one.

~

that’s the curious thing
about love;
it cannot be defined.
it cannot be measured
or reasoned with.
it knows no limit
it transcends time
and bridges space;
to love or be loved
or even have been loved
is to exist somewhere, forever.

~

if i told the sea
the way in which
I feel for you;
she would leave her shores
abandon her waves
and follow me across
the endless horizon
in search of you.

the sun and moon
yearned for one another
but time kept them apart.
tracing the horizon
an endless dance
they wait for an eclipse;
proof, that even against all odds
the most improbable love
can always find a way.

i’m here again.
i see you without seeing you
i feel you without touch
another night, black words
on white walls
i find myself hopelessly
seeking you out.
restless, relentless
i no longer know what i even
hope to find at its end.
perhaps only the stinging comfort
of knowing your near
within my grasp
like the gods of old
filling the night sky
with so much wonder
for i to only look upon in awe.
like pyramus and thisbe
through a crack in the wall
we whisper our love.
you are engraved within me
this cannot be for nothing
i refuse it.
countless moons
have come and went
radio silence
an entire world between us
yet i cannot give up;
the idea of you.
i exist in a fantasy,
a childlike dream
i peel back the veil of time
and gaze into you once more.
i do not know
what souls are made of
but what ever it is;
ours are the same.
and if that is all
we where ever destine to be
a flicker in time
a fleeting moment
a blip in space;
then i have cheated
fate from her cruel wish.
for i have lived out
countless life's
with you in my mind  
my muse;
i have dreamt you
into my existence;
and here you remain.

~

she is a flower moon
on a still summer night
filling the sky
surrounded
outnumbered
by an endless
ocean of stars
suspended in blackness
radiating wonder
her presence;
unlike any other
her light;
a perpetual glow
even without trying
even without knowing
you outshine them all.

~

warm summer nights
lost, intwined
under satin sheets  
a midnight worship,
souls unraveled
night crawlers
telephone lovers
pale skin
eyes burning
bodies dancing
soft moans in my ear
the sweetest lullaby.
like a siren you call;
alluring
pulling me into
every dark corner
of your mind
and still;
even now
i hunger for only you.
i once believed
i had fallen hopelessly
in love with a memory
but i know that not true.
for i would rewind
the hands of time
and stay
that moment
forever
even in purgatory;
i shall kneel
by your throne.

~

that’s how i know
with you it was different;
something else entirely
something other-worldly.
all have come
and left by dawn
nothing but
empty desires
a hollow love
but not you.
with you
i obsess on our memories
fixate in our moments
long lost to time.
and just like van gogh
within his work
i have lost my mind.
here is all that remains;
years passed
black words
on white canvas
two ghosts
communicating
between worlds.
it is indeed oddly
beautiful and bizarre;
for i am lost and floating
within the darkness
suspended in your space
amidst the stars
dancing between worlds
sending out signals
just so you know
i’m still here.

~

~

time is fleeting
love her hard
love her fast
give everything you can
for as long as you have
be open
be honest
be humbled
admit your defeats
she will give you every thing
every part unraveled
stand with her
do not run from her magic
a love like that
may only come around but once
it is a fate far worse than any
to wonder what if.

~

~

some nights i wake
from another world;
another place and time
one where we made it.
i have lived out
so many different life’s
with you in my mind;
from better to worse
and i have loved you
just the same
in every last one.

~

~

if my life was a novel
each experience
stained
forever in ink torn pages
somewhere within
a chapter is missing;
this is when i met you.
this is when everything good
happened all at once.
on those pages;
words dance
universes bend
stars weep
and time stops.
on those pages;
skies clear
seas calm
and i smiled.
for you arrived
just as a dream
from nothing
to a monsoon
a wildfire
burning through
tearing down
you revealed
the parts unseen;
an aurora borealis
a beauty so haunting
you brought me
to my knees in worship
and now;
after endless nights
countless moons
time has made me honest.
honest enough to admit;
i lost you
because i felt
so utterly unworthy
of someone
with so much wonder;
a magic unlike any other.
a bruise that never heals
i press it down;
it hurts to remember you
but it feels so good
to just remember
that it even happened at all.

~

~

oceans swell and foam
within her;
i was a ship
upon her waves.
planets bend
dancing between us;
the stars, in audience
jealous of her beauty.
the universe held it’s breathe
the hands of time long frozen
something brought you to me;
a cruel fate she’s spun
for now i have seen eden.
i have eaten from her tree
i have tasted her magic,
and no other kind of love;
would ever be enough.

~

i have loved you
in every way possible.
in secret,
behind whispers
hidden from sight;
words etched into canvas,
from another life.
in rapture
embraced
two bodies entwined;
too nothing but strangers,
the ghost in my mind.
i have loved you
in every way possible.
slowly
from nothing;
too then all at once.
infatuated,
possessed;
still craving your touch.

~

i was an ocean
you; the moon
suspended in darkness
amidst a billion stars.
i’d reach for you every night
now; forever more
until the last star
burns into oblivion.
i’d reach for you every night
even knowing;
i’d never touch
your perpetual glow

~

perhaps the greatest
suffering one can endure;
is too find someone
you cannot exist without;
and then existing without them.

sometimes i come here;
just to remember you.
sometimes i come here;
to read each word written
relive every moment stolen
like a favourite novel
i find your magic once again.
for here is all i have left;
and behind words
you exist forever
here you are my ghost
my midnight haunt
here i think of you
sometimes;
most times
always.

i miss you.
i miss you more
than i ever thought
humanly possible;
over 1000 moons passed
and still;
you dominate my thoughts.
i see moments and memories
of you all around me;
everyday.
in everything.
i’ve never known
an allure like this.
so, constant.
unwavering.
i miss your advice
i miss your presence
every stolen glance
every sacred moment
magic pouring from your
cinnamon apple
stained lips
in the corridors
of my mind;
you usher me in.
in the darkest depths;
yours is a light
that never goes out.

a summer night
moonlight spilling
onto your bed;
a fleeting memory
a moment lost in time
laying beside you
a beautiful rapture;
and all the chemicals in my head.

~

perhaps indeed
the greatest tragedy
the heart can endure
to lose the only one
to ever understand you;
the only one to see the perfection
of your imperfections
the only one too listen
when others speak
it’s a curious pain
to miss another so deeply
a kind of loss that consumes
memories of what once was
haunting hollow nights
you see;
even in your absence
you taught me;
time is the cruelest mistress
she wouldn’t let me have you.
she won’t let me forget you.

~

~

with tired eyes
and mumbled breath
suspended in limbo
between the veil;
of the world awake
and realm of dream
each night i wait patient.
for there is place
where the safely insane
and longing hearts
meet once more.
amidst a sea of faces
the hands of time fall still
and then i see you;
your stare cuts me open
your gravity pulls me in
helpless, i smile.
for to be lost in your darkness
drowning in your gaze
honey soaked kisses on my lips
is the safest place i’ve ever known.

~

~

my body a vessel
my being, come true
from the source of my soul;
all my rivers and oceans
flow straight back to you.
for only you, could weave a magic
a witchcraft so divine;
that just a single thought of you
can take me back through time.
reliving each and every moment
every kiss and stolen glance;
to laying alone in darkness
realising it would be our last.

~

~

the passing of seasons
sown guilt on my mind;
a quiet place in my head
i venture into too find;
the light of ten thousand suns
your perpetual glow;
and just how much i once loved you
you could never know.

~

~

here is a place
my heart comes to mourn;
a place where these thoughts
are seldom my own.
a place frozen in time
your face covers these walls;
a cold lovers waltz
still haunting these halls.
a window through time  
i am left to adore;
here is a place;
i will love you, once more.

~

~

i break like glass;
you break like waves
on the ocean.

~

~

perhaps we never made it
to the end of this story;
but i’ll always remember
the pages your name was on.

~

~

barefoot prints on wet sand
as waves and sunset meet;
light dancing across the water
seashells washing at my feet.
within i hear an ocean
a lullaby once lost in time;
or perhaps i hear an echo
of a time your love was mine.

~

~

from darkness we emerged
a fragile little dream;
the wonders of the universe
and all that she had seen.
our bodies each a vessel
from a time before our own;
suspended between a sunbeam
a world we call our home.
and yet, the beauty of it all
is the clock upon the wall;
as when nothing else remains
perhaps only the stars,
will remember our names.

~

~

we are but
two lovers lost
between worlds;
worlds in which
we have always
lost one another.
time and time again;
we meet
we fall
and again
we lose it all.
how else could your face
reminder me of a home
that has never been,
but yet, was always so close.
how else could i know you
before you spoke a single world.
how else could i lose you
and remember this same
empty feeling.
my love
our moments together
are not measured by time;
our bond
our longing
our contention
transcends understanding
defies reality,
two souls lost
in the same place
at the same time;
forever searching
for each other.
a tragic love
divine fate;
our beautiful paradox.

~

~

perhaps if the stars
could ever gaze back
upon themselves
suspended in the night sky,
revel in their own beauty.
soak in their own majesty.
in awe of their own wonder.
perhaps only then,
they would understand;
what i see in you.

~

~

you took off your clothes;
and my heart felt the weight
of things i’d never known.

~

~

slipping out of that tiny gown
nothing could have caught her;
wet skin steeped in candlelight
honey, i was so jealous of the water.

~

~

our hearts had loved
and loved, unshaken;
behind each stolen smile
they both were breaking.
we found comfort in each other
a place to be safely insane,
a world away from normality
a place free from pain;
there are moments when i hear you
your voice trembles in my head,
and now i’m stuck telling fables
of the things i never said.

~

~

every tide brings with it change
every wave each breath anew;
lonely nights sat by your throne
longing to worship you,
empty roads lead me in circles
now right back at the start;
and i nothing left to blame
but my own foolish heart.

~

~

sometimes, i wonder
even after all this time,
in the quiet moments
when no one else is around
deep in the corridors
of your mind
do you ever find me again?
i still think of you.
the way you’d grab
my hand in yours,
whenever you had
something too say 
that just couldn’t wait.
or the shape of your mouth
as you’d hold back a smile;
i remember you.
in every finite detail.
perhaps, i cannot forgot you;
perhaps i refuse too.

~

~

even from afar
even without words
even without touch
honey, i could adore you
like dandelion wine
in every time line
in every life time.

~

~

too learn in the teachings
of the lessons not taught,
too bathe in the waters
of the waves that brought;
a feeling of substance
right down to the bone,
and drown in emotions
that where never your own.

~

~

there is a subtle beauty in madness.
an eery wonder within sadness.
like the musicians of the titanic
their final lullabies
dancing through the air
amid the screams and the panic
a moment of beauty
an expectance of fate
a beautiful surrender
as they perished beneath the waves

~

~

perfectly lonely
winters night
you on my mind.
forever i’d lay here
with you in my head
cause heaven ain’t
too hard too find.

~

~

moonlight pouring
through the window
spilling across the bed
her eyes, a wildfire burning
as she got inside my head.  
a velvet touch
on satin skin
each flash of brilliant white;
a billion stars
for my eyes only
as she lit up the night.
her soul displayed
her heart unfolding
each word a perfect verse;
within your soul
that summers night
i saw the universe.

~

~

i believe that through our dreams
we can re-write moments
once lost to time.
not as in, to alter what has already come
but merely to glimpse back;
as to what may have been.

reliving the same sequence of events
trying to find, how each moment
played out best.
i dream of holding you again.
longer, closer;
each breath more synchronised
than the last.

every night i fall in love with you
all over again in my mind
yet, we always end up back;
stuck, in the same place
at the exact same time.

with you, taking my hands in yours
your head pressed against mine;
a gentle mumble
pushed across your lips
you ask;
“how could you forget me?”
and then, like from a hellish nightmare
i awaken once more.

i don’t know if loving someone
could be more tragically poetic;
perhaps, the greatest trick
the devil ever pulled
was crossing our paths.

you asked me;
“how could i forget you?”
i can’t.
i never have.
every single night
i find you in my head;
just to speak to your ghost,
too utter sweet nothings in your ear
and to be hopelessly lost
utterly and completely entranced
in your gaze once again.

~

its a curious thing;
that now even at it’s end
and through it all,
the sheer ecstasy
and complete heartache
my mind will only
and always remember you
in your most perfect form.
the heart wants;
what the heart wants.

~

honey, you ruined me
for anyone else
nothing could ever compare.

~

~

now all that remains
amidst the frost and the dew
a sun beam in an indian summer
and memories of you
sometimes; our ability to not forget
is the most tragic kind of pain
and the more that things change;
the more they stay the same

~

~

waves crashing amidst foam
the sky lost behind cloud
an ocean swelled in my lungs
when her voice spoke aloud
those waters pulled me under
and as i drowned, i gazed above
her magic, unlike any other;
an unspeakable kind of love

~

~

the hardest part;
is knowing what
we could have become.
how the planets would
bend between us,
how the stars would weep;
in awe of our love.
how the heavens would burn
whenever we’re apart
our atoms belong together.
they have traveled
across an ocean of time
from one life, to the next
bound to each other
forever searching,
forever entwined.
that’s the hardest part;
admitting, i was made,
to love only you.

~