Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
 
the room is spinning
my head is too
i dread these drunken
thoughts of you


mndi
(you're intoxicating in the worst way)
Why
do you keep coming around
knowing I won't change?
Why tell me you love me
when you know I
can’t
love? I always tell you go,
but you stay. I tell you
we
can’t be together, that I
ruin things. And still, you’re
here. I can’t love you, I only
give love
away. To people who
couldn't care less about me...
Just give me a reason to love.
One
reason not to give up
on it, on us. Please stop, I
don’t want any-
more
of this. I just can’t love you. I
don’t think I ever will love you
the way you love me. But… I
could try. I mean, we all deserve a
chance.
Had to clean my room today and I found something I'd written back in gr9.. I was a lot sappier back in the day
What would you do,
if it all came back to you?

Hide everything in the
vacant slots of your mind

Leave it behind in a memory
of a friend you thought you knew

Or look back at the mess
and try to put it all together

To make sense out of
something that was real

Or was til it became a figment
of the past

Now, the question is irrelevant,
simply part of a prologue
to an even bigger body of literature
In my first year of high school I began the year off with three of my closest friends from elementary school,
we experienced and did everything together and trusted each other with anything  
Over the years our friendships begin to fallout
through rumors, gossip, betrayal
from people who I believed I could confide in
I still shame myself for having a part in the lying, I'm reminded of it everyday even though I've tried to suppress it, my depression towards the matter didn't help either
Each year I began feeling differently towards the situation, I could either let it sit inside my head and let it eat away at me
or move on
With new relationships and being able to finally let people in again, I've realized what real friends are and how much better it is when someone is actually there for you because they genuinely value your friendship
This is my first poetry piece on here and although I've never been as good a writer as my sisters or some of my friends and a lot of my thoughts don't seem to make any sense when put together,
everyone has a right to express how they feel...
Like it, hate it, believe in it, don't, I'm in no position to judge and I won't
I just wanted to share a small summary of my past to whomever may actually care about it
So if you're still reading this, thanks
My Jailbird Brother
you are both selfish and foolish
and i'm not sure which is worse
or which i envy more
less than five hours you were home
less than t h r e e  h u n d r e d minutes
a careless release, really
but you wasted no time finding your way into trouble
the same kind of trouble that got you taken away
kept under lock and key
when you should have been here growing up with me
this wasn't how it was supposed to happen
i envisioned hugs and tears and rambling stories
instead i found drugs and fears and repressed memories
i thought that when you came back it would be like you never left
..it was exactly like that
in the worst way
like you really never went away
you'd been here the whole time
making messes and breaking hearts
among so many other things
making mom cry
because look at you
you're not the same
you came back worse than when you'd left
maybe they got it wrong
maybe they sent back someone else
you adapted to survive
but there's a point where stoic turns cold
and resilient becomes defensive
and you're hiding your feelings to the point
where you can't even even find them
i never saw you as a criminal
but now that's all you know how to be.


*smndi
I'll
scream and
cry and
fight for
his life
to save him from this folly.

But
all the
angels and
saints and
even God himself,
cannot save this type of unholy.
hes going down the wrong path,  I've done all I can
Sleep does not come easy
when I'm not sleeping with you.
I'm so used to doing it
not alone, but part of two.
There's too much room
in this here bed
there's a pillow here
missing your head.
And my heads missing your lips
I can't sleep tonight
not without that goodnight kiss.
The moon looks in my window
watching with empathy I'm sure
she knows this lonesome feeling
her lover too sleeps not with her.
Sad insomniacs
with empty sheets and empty arms
you're somewhere else asleep without me
the thought alone just does me harm.
If I could rearrange the stars like monkey bars
I'd cross this desert straight to you
if I had to dodge through speeding cars
let me tell you, there's not a thing I wouldn't do.
My eyes are growing tired
but my mind is racing with thoughts of you
it won't seem to let me sleep tonight
I think it's trying to run to you too.


*s.mndi
you can't spell insomnia without 'i'
Sadness came to me tonight
I said, nope, I'm not ready yet
So I put that sadness in a box
and that box under my bed.

Anger came to visit me next
I said, I'm definitely not ready for you
So I stuffed that anger in a bag
and it went under too.

I thought I was safe for the night
and then in came impending Doom
This one was a little bit stronger
so I had to lock it in it's own room.

So when I saw Pain walking up the street
I knew it was coming for me
I said, I guess it's time to accept defeat
So one by one, I set them all free.

I cried with Sadness
I screamed with Anger
I mourned with Doom
I whined with Pain

And then Happiness came
and I watched the others disappear.
We shared a happy life together
when I finally stopped living with Fear.


*mndi
paintbrush strokes of white on blue
stretching over me and you
colors change to pink-streaked yellow
the earths settling down, getting sleepy and mellow
now it's all gone black with specks of white
any color has left us alone for the night
it's getting brighter
bluer, whiter
the birds in the trees are singing like a choir
they're pretty high up, but i think we're higher
i'll stay up all day, and all through the night too
if you'll be there with me through every shade and hue


s.*mndi
There is only a flashing, of soul
a susurrous echoing, hidden, hushed away
in the running down of slipping sands and fall of dreams
an ocean of water washing waves, bury and uncover
one cannot ignore it's constant call
an ache, beautiful a sorrowful longing
deep, calling you home
Next page