By the time these eyes grow quiet
They will speak of her concrete lungs
Mistaken sickness
Crumbling forgiveness as we mourn the struggle
Sonnets of such desperation
Pillars of passion melted to liquid silk
Devoured by precious creation
Fathom these damaged voids
With a jagged prose
Hungering breaths
Foolish
Monstrous
Kidnapped composure
Restless with trembling intention
Collected to a stillborn resonance
Discarded with shadowed reform

The hollow course our love ran
Our veins
Drenched with rain
A night tower
Flashing
With weighted scars
In the distance
Gleaming from your notions
Of society and suicide
I thought of you
As the street glistened
The smoke pouring from my mouth
Bent in your direction
Finding you empty
Exhausted logic
With a waking memory
You don't know yourself anymore
I just wanted to hold you

This undying reprimand
And ceaseless mourning
Forgetting to continue in measure
To keep these things at bay
With grace
To say more than enough
Handing floating remorse
Give sway
This night
Born from a lonely day
Pray
Like before
Stomaching passion
To never be whole again
Departing visions
Grasping your innocent defeat
Drowning such sweet melodies

Fist clenched
Arm torn
Head turned
The forest went dark
One or two moments
Your breath leads the way
Ghosts made present
Firework fog
Magnificent display
Tell me once more
What it was like
You held close for the beat
With my heart lead astray
Ashes near the ground
Wondering what became of her
To stop them
In a panic
So sacred
We will meet beneath the lights again
And I'll turn for you
Do anything to understand
This soiled mind
**** your pure intentions
Take everyone alone
Somewhere along
Better chance
But willingly terrified
I lay down
Music bursting through the seams
Smoke near the shadow of your face
The lights illuminated
One last time
Never leave
Let me be what I want

I have a rage inside me that cannot be measured
And a love inside me that is unfathomable
If I cannot indulge in one
I will fall into the other
Endlessly

Our vessels
Fleeting
Naked
Conceptual exit
Bleached impermanence
Change in warmth
Back inside now
Aspiring
Our gaze
Breaking repose
Rhythmic
Bold
Throat collapse
Acidic and electric
Fixation and rapture
Swollen dust
A moment gone
Days late
Lacking demise
Flooded with broken failures

Your words cast spells on my frame
As we took a cue from nature
And once again
You've stolen the skin from my bones
But it seems I am feeling well
I hope you can believe that
The castle has slipped into the sea today
Then the news came in
Golden days blossom here
Completing my heart
There will be nothing left to salvage
Save your emerald eyes

Your heart understood mine
Peaking through the chain links
Seen flying above
Coursed through parchment
In these fine lines of our DNA
And how she cried for you
As smoke billowed in July air
With these rooms of the house
Yours seemed invisible
But you perceive this distance
In smiling eyes
And smudged windows
Blessings sent
In a whisper
Or a tear

Images emerge
This scarred
Twisted
Fallen vision
Remove
Send out the signal
A rebirth
Day to day
Our life and death
Fissioned from the lonely soil
Of a few weeks ago
We just got by
Favored towards forgiveness
Caged love by night

By this
I know
You'll never say you're wrong

Leave both parties behind
Fear of memories fractured
As underneath I let you sleep
These small words
Used as hopeful bricks
For loving structures
You're my only angel
These secrets of your deepest well
Flowing purity from beyond
So cruelly
I pulled you from the wreckage
Steered from broken lovers
Diminishing light
This heart now boils over
Perished systems renewed
Until decay
And a belief
Of trust
In the highest plateau
Pray
Sleep
Please
Never leave
Your voice is the echo
Of machines
Hammering the iron of my heart
Back into place

All this time with sails crumbled
Scared
Matriculated
Longing for the shores once more
A rustic room
Or a promise
Four times removed
And replaced
With infectious imagery
No
It cannot be
Between the silence
There lies a message
Please
Don't let go
These cotton sheets
They tell of a true legacy
To memorize a taste of strength
I've searched too far
Lunar sighs
Or a deliberated throb
Purity in nature
Strings attached with missing pieces
Is all I ask

How could you know?
For staring on that time
Into the nothingness
Feeling so alone
But your absence
Witheld
Simply comforted me
Though you drank of sweet sleep
My eyes swallowed the turmoil
And my memories stayed suppressed
Though I wanted them dead
Offered up
With palms stretched out
Engrained
Like satellite images
Reasoned to exist

As we stood still
Images crossing lanes
Quick unsettling
Shards of light
Assigned
Quaking
Not for fear
But in the presence
Of the multitude of expectations
There I was proposed
For the certainty of things to come

Back again
Sitting
Collecting somewhere
Moments of weakness
Spiraled drip
Murmurs in the basement
Your father's slouched shoulders
But still unsatisfied
In sleepy remorse
Feeling less than abysmal
Clean sheets and short days
But great you would become
Not in the sharpness of your current
But in the promise
Of your potential
Actualized
Bedside note
Your brother singing upstairs
Night born sadness

Whisked away in the night
And yes
The sights
Are blinding
And inclined to know their way
Rest
And breathe smoke
Once gone
Now returned with fervor
Your dance mixed with mist
Lights
Not withstanding
Leaning in
To whisper a vow
Given
And kept with such magic
Slow and still
Walk with me
Be not the same
With your eyes like wild-fire
Mine
With blazing child-like patience
Can you save me once more?

They say you've gone away from me
But I can feel you when you breathe

Yes this could be it
Final prose for a washed up lover
Harnessed pain
Night terrors
Paralyzed with memories
Of betrayal
Regret
So please hold me
But no matter
How much
I scream your name
You will not come back to me
I fear the worst
Is yet to come
Because you're still running
In my dreams

So this spells tragedy
Dually noted
Something off my chest
And into your heart
Now a digital voice murmuring
A synthesized plea
Love that spans highways
But only 79 miles an hour
The tattoo on the crease of your elbow
And are you okay?
I'm still wondering
As you let the smoke pour through the skylight
Nothing else mattered to me

I'm crying picturing your broken heart

Such a shameful waste of love
So goodnight

It's past 9 o'clock now
So I know you should be asleep
The nurse
Passed through for her rounds
The machines
Humming and murmuring
With an electric glow
I walk through the corridors
To your place of rest
Last one on the left
Your eyes are closed
As I enter the room
You smile, weakly
My eyes
Filled with grief
Deciding whether to tell you
How many hours I cried
Alone in the shower
In our bed
Without your warmth
So I sit with you for a while
Until you drift away
I'll be here
I'll help answer all the questions
And I hear you say
You think they'll let you go home tomorrow
But my love
You've never left home

My care for you will never go away
It is engrained
Carved into my skin
Intricate
Invisible
Confident
Excruciating
Pumped through body and mind
You were always safe
You were always loved

No I never said her name aloud, or around you
Fainted collections by the bedside
Never known from the emotions felt
Prayers
Things families kept
My west side bedroom
And you didn't understand
Just how much it hurt you
The night time shell
You remained
Faded in my image
Turned away
Burnt out in shadows
Clothes in the closet
I wept the whole way home
Designed by the day
By the pain we realized
Prior to twisted agony
Never feeling how the road sways
I'll still be losing blood
Deep ocean drowning
Kick
Losing breaths
Looking from the lights of the aftermath

It doesn't have to be like this

Infinite years past
To dig with impatience
Seems like forever to you now
There's nothing here
But betrayal
Twisted words
Depths unknown even to you
Pleading
Again
To go home
Forbearing a tainted helix
Your fingerprints
Not much to see
But stained with rage
We beg for love
But are given faith
However durable
Unquenched
In the simplest of ways

Feeling too weak
She is torn out from my chest
Fleeting from my heart
You can call us even
Projecting sounds of defeat
Grandiose
Feeling better now
Throwing these things to the side
Giving off the scent of your skin
Finding you cold
Wet
Naked
For me
To taste
And warm you
Born with the bluest eyes
With the sin inside
Just once more

You could leave
But you can't go
I can still feel you in my soul
And for you to carry this away
I guess you'll have to stay
Or you'll end up alone
Please know
I can still smell you in my clothes

Will he ever love?
Tragic now,
As I see the footprints
Trudged through the snow
These ashes fall as snowflakes
And an endless winter
Has now been brought forth
You're alone now
There's nothing wrong
Must be too strong for you
Build your temples, child
Stay by the withering flames
Now once removed
Twice caught
Three times fallen
In it's most eloquent stage

When I was young
Solemn
We awaited this great Christmas night
With shining eyes
When I was young
And a heart of heavy gold
A carousel of lights and magic
Smoky evening and cold window-frames
When I was young
A child speaking sweet words
And giving cherished smiles
Across the gulf of a winter night
When I was young
I wish it would have stayed this way
Not to be caught in sleep
But to be home just once more
When I was young
A sister holding me with compassionate grace
A real warmth on this blessed Eve
And my heart pounding of pure love
When I was young

To make a heart
This desperate
Weep

Sit with me brother
Watch
As the world turns
And burns
Breaths filled with smoke
And the broken hope
Of machines
As our very last friend
Taste its pleasure
As I laugh at jokes
Inside this heart of solitude
Seeing the patterns
Of a morphine drip
Lead straight to your thoughts
Life's last request
To be held
Till your end

In the picture
Of a treacherous silence
I hear fate whisper its lonely plans
A lost deliverer
Of doomed hearts
The soundtrack
To a perfect purgatory
And their war torn eyes
They will
Cry out
Once more

It's past midnight now
So I know you should have gone home
But you wait
To reside by the beach
In my thoughts
You've crossed over yellow-lit streets
I've only just slipped past the gate
My phone held tightly in my grasp
You never call
My aunt and uncle
Leave the front door unlocked
I walk towards the guest bedroom
Past the great hall
The dimly lit artifacts
To stand there
Perceiving this bedroom
Seemingly in all white
Awaiting your call
Waiting for you
Staying awake that much longer
Feeling drowsy to your image
Please
Say you've found your peace in this day

And took her I did
She resisted
But I win
When passion stands next to us
Can we say we were together
Until the end?

Breathless
You too could see
That this heart isn't your playground
Even though you promised
Are you safe?
Are you loved?
Your environment
Has taken care of you
And you speak
You speak only as you know how
Surrounded in the amphitheater
Amongst the friends and foes
I am not there
But I'm on my way
To your corroded memory
The gutted consciousness that is your mind
Night after night of questions
Left me unable to answer your repose
Tranquility
A source foreign and fragile to me
Never made voltaic by the moonlight

God, and how could you?
Or how could I?
Be the greatest?
With my mother, far away
My father dead
My wife distant
My children, unknowing
Without a penny to **** on
And without a place to call home
The inevitable falling and tearing of my very hope
I'm the world's saddest poet, and I'll tell you why
Without a single trace
Recognizable to anyone
I have brought forth my own demons
To walk with me
They told me
Never
To leave you
Alone

Shoved back
By this thin black veil
Held neatly
By Hades thin fingers
No longer guided by angels
Soft
And sad
The look I give
Can smash their dreams
This eradicating wormhole
These words are yours to sing
As you enter heaven
I feel bitter
Caught between two points
Sharing these embers
For better use
And once more
So at ease
Tired
Angry
Melted away
By your digitized wisdom

Smother my creation
My furious space
Lock the door
Force this tangible restlessness
And mortal wound
Upon me
Rise against my every word
Dressing my cares with every delicacy
Beat my heart
Without a pause or glance
Because for no
I will resist
But know
That this could be construed as love

Paralyzed
To break the sound of your arrival
The stars mock him
Leaving him
Defeated
Ashamed
Never knowing
Where she might be
Oh, he could say
She's on the porch
Whilst staring through cloudy lenses
On the roof
Leaning against the tiles
For the embrace
Never felt by any lover
Or on the road
Making sure
The reason she's leaving
Are different
Than the ones
Used to say she will stay
That perpetuated imbalance
Could surely be her demise
Deep black
Brilliant
She awakens
To shower
To start the day

It's torn
This flaunted melody
I stand admired
Though former thoughts shattered
This bliss cherished
To not drink death
But to cradle it
Idly
They speak of love
And three months of no answers
Lusting after something unnamed
So terrible
With a drunken heart
Held eternally by another

Turn the music up
My favorite song
Ethereal
Set in motion
Ice cold window
Coasting at seventy-five
Dropping low
In the right direction
Passing every exit
The murals written
The night time
Jumbled emotions perpetuated
In a handshake
Or a smile
Sigh
Yeah
Now that's the real America

Vigilant at best
These tendrils of my mind
Enduring the mixture
Of gold and blood
To the graphite center
Of your dear heart
May I speak true?
Of perception
Through wires
Not bound
In the vivid corruption
That is my home
But of truth
Buried
With such a sweet friend
Forever

This late night testament
Of our forlorn grace
Starlit proof
Suffering of cast down treasure
Whilst driving through highways
Steady tempo
And keep your beat
To a certain future
Witness the sunk in smile
Never opposing
Always
Ever watchful
With blotted intentions

Maybe
Just maybe, it was all one sad moment
My mind rushed through the series of consequences
Could feel myself dry out
With your voice
Crackling
And shaking
I never felt such mortality
Promised it was for the best
For the return would be much sweeter
Promised I could still
Feel pain
As I write this in a cold coffeehouse
Flooded
No
Bare
Now you know
I never came back

God, and I felt so terrible
That you were obliged to sit in that corner
Fearing the worst
But I never withdrew my eyes
And they didn't stop talking
They thought they had my love
You knew it was beautifully fused in you
So I quickly take your hand
Out the backdoor
Into your car
Light up two Red's
Twenty-two degrees
Pass the winding street
Where my lover sleeps

Maybe it is my fault

This bed of ashes
Confined innocence
Cry all night
And I'll taste your current
Permeated
Transformed
Thrown across
You'll miss
This bullseye
Of our love

You climbed out the window that night
But I followed you
We ran for a bit
Rain fell
Your comprised rendition
Placed before you
Looked up
For a second
Still
Breathing
In solace
Streetlight above my head
Don't leave
Walk across this broken land
With me
Encapsulate my thoughts
On the edge of this night sky
Thinking thoughts
My love
You have been given before
Spellbound
These fragments
I'm willing
To walk you home

You had been so lonely
Full of warmth
Waiting for me
As I walked past the cell block
Shuffling my feet out the door
Piping hot food
A welcome reprieve
You looked at me
As one of those magazines
Your father writes for
You kept me
As your mother's dying wrist
Was left dangling
In your outstretched hand
You smiled
As if everything would come together
All at once
I would leave you
Like a stray fed too long
You told people
It was because I was never loved
Properly
I was heavy sand
When you were the easing tide