the truth gets drowned out

I don't know you
I never will
But a Facebook post told me you got drunk and hit your bike at the freeway
You suffered head injuries and died on the spot.
My Facebook timeline is filled with posts from your friends and family.
They miss you ,they love you and wonder how did you leave so soon.
You were twenty, attending uni and in love with a beautiful girl.
You loved driving your bike on the smooth roads when the rain poured.
You loved drinking till your mind was numb and speech slurred.
I never knew you
But i remember you playing football on our school grounds and talking to the pretty girls.
I remember you posting pictures of you and your girlfriend in the school uniform and everyone commenting on your 'love'
I remember talking to you once about our common last name. I remember you accidentally bumping me in the school hallways.
I remember you standing infront of the principal's office because you played a harmless prank on a teacher.
I remember you standing on stage with trophies and medals you won for our school.
I remember the funny posts you used to share on facebook.
You don't know me. You never will.
I was just another girl in your Facebook friend list. I was just another junior who didn't talk much.

Maybe if I strain my ears,I can hear your mother screaming over the death of her only son. Maybe I can hear your girlfriend crying over her love.
But I hear nothing because in silence,we yearn.

this is an open letter
and i pray you never find it
because sometimes you just fail to see how deeply i feel things

i don't think i give you enough credit for being there for me and putting up with my ****,
so here's an official thank you

i ask myself very often, why was i drawn to you?
why can't i tolerate others for minutes but can talk for hours with you

i secretly wish things would've worked out between the two of us
i secretly wish we give it another try
but i guess it is what it is and spilled ink over my pages can't explain that

my friends think i deserve better,sometimes i think i do too
they think you act like a **** and don't value me
maybe they are right

sometimes i curse myself for thinking so much about you,
antagonize myself because i care too much about you
but
i like my choices and i hope you like yours

x