(i remember…)
making out to ska with the lights on
(i remember…)
the day i finally got your pants off
(i remember…)
the look in your eyes told me something else was up (shhh)
forever bonded, didn't matter what was going on


not like thœse other guys
you were the caring type
circumstances not within your control
but you still had to make it right


it's so unfair
the unwanteds wandering in my dreams
but i still haven't seen you there


forever 23
a missing part of me
with every birthday that i have
it’s another you won’t see




forever 23
a missing part of me
with every birthday that i have
it’s another you won’t see

it's not fair
i'm still here and you're no longer there
the gold streaks have faded from my hair
life goes on but it's just our cross to bear

i'm sorry
i didn't get to tell you more
i'm sorry
i had to ever shut that door

wish i could've heard your demons
wish i could've seen the signs
even after all these years
i still focus on the good times

dude,
popping counterfeit percocet
you don't even see the trouble that you're in yet
the high lasts forever, you never come down
i guess we all learned our lessons by now

you're lost in the past, and so am i
waiting for the hour hand to tick on by

you got off early, i'm still on for the ride

let’s go a little bit farther
a little bit harder
let’s do things you’d never think to tell your father
your mom already hates me
but it's not approval that i'm after
not the girl you love but you simply have to have her
***** life changing
anti gun
pro finger blaster

i held the world in my hands
but i had to let her down gently

getting harder daily not to break down, cry.
this feels like such a waste of a life.
waiting for the day that i finally cross the line,
and yet it never comes. you stay. you choose me, us, every time.

so scared of losing yourself
to a future disease
you forgot about the rage inside
and your family's grief

there's a lifetime of love here
but it's getting hard to see
this thing you think you're fighting
well it's really fighting me

it neither killed me,
nor made me stronger,
it did a third thing

~

got angels and devils sitting on my shoulders, in my ears
these different parts of me— you’ve seen them through the years

i live in fragments
i'm never whole
it's not the life i thought i'd lead
at least it's never ******* dull

i lost my head
found these instead
and never felt quite like 'me' again

even when i’m alone
i’m never lonely

~

i hear the voices
from the inside out
oh stop; i recognize that look you're giving me:
"why keep it hidden from us until now?"

i don't recall much from after ten years old
let’s call that 'brain rot'
lost memories of repeat awful happenings
that i still don't know if i deserved or not (you didn’t)(x2)


the only one who ever truly knows what's going on is you