empty walls empty room empy brain empty womb
blank page blank mind, ideas, words, thoughts I can't find
trash recycle bin I can't win those inner demons bust my teeth in

slit a wrist open a sleeve cut a vein blow my brain
insane insane in sane out of life
nothing to gain
nothing to lose
cut me open, arachnophobia, rusty, my guts slip out in a
shape
of a noose,

hanging out hanging up face down legs floating body rotating
don't stop believing

hold on
to that feeling.

.Filling my life with emptiness
...I used to be productive
But now productivity
Is like a jar of chutney
sitting in the cupboard
for years.

All I want to do,
is just sit in my room
and observe
observe it
shrouding my room
see the dust floating in the air
Like a cold, moldy coffin
And find a hole to jump  inside
and hide
my mind
colours
colours
colours
col ours
call ours
call hours
c all hours
see all hours
see the things I could not find in a minute
See a purpose in small things takes hours
I don't need a purpose.

found in my pocket, written somewhere in the past (not) perfect.

Cycles
cycles of sleep
cycles of life
cycles of the sun and the moon

one day
they'll break down
and then?

I watch from a distance
and cannot believe
how their lies
powerfully decieve
us
into hating each other
killing one another
sometimes I think
why even bother
but I simply had enough

of watching this every day every single time I open the television or a stupid newspaper, so much hatred and stupidity and not suprisingly, no humility.

this is a call
this is a call
to everyone, like you, like me
this is a call
to tear down the wall
smash down the towers
and watch them fall
this is a call

this is
our voice
no uniform
no shows
no act

just a voice,
and one day
just like the israelites destroyed the walls of Jericho
we will destroy them.

my heart was born for battle
my heart was born for war
why should I give up
after fighting so much to get this far

So many years
so many tears
finally i have conquered
all these fears

now
i can stand tall
i can stand proud
I can scream

my heart was born for battle
my heart was born for war
I achieved what i was
fighting for

all these years

Hammerheart

Some day
nothing will happen
nothing to say
No hate towards each other

Some day
nothing will happen
And we will be free
to do what ever we want

Hand in hand
See a band
watch a film
strawberries with cream

Gaze at the sun
watch it fall down
smile
dont frown

and most of all
tell someone you love them
give them a flower
mhmhm smells nice
doesn't it?

I must be dreaming
אמן

Clouds
cover my thoughts
the fruit of knowledge
covers my face
I can,t keep up
with hypocrisy's pace

break it up break it up

I wish I could smile
just once for real
it feels so vile
just for a while
make it real

How can you just move on?
A highway to ignorance
200 mph
until you crash into reality

I am the forbidden fruit of knowledge
Or am I being covered by it
Do I even have any?
maybe it's all a lie
Imagination to face reality
show me your
true face
face the truth.

Hate, hate, hate
All around me

I am
tired of
living in
fear.

Can't you hear?
The words that come out of your mouth?
Look in the mirror
straight at yourself
And say those words
again.

I bet you're scared of yourself
right now, how
are you feeling now?

Growing up in stress
growing up with hate
I'm sick of the propaganda
they create

And right now, it's burning under us
Hatred of warmonger ****
it's just a matter of time
now hit the drum
sooner or later, war will come

war is the best thing that can happen in this abomination we call a free country.

Dead inside
parasites
Lost our feelings lost our souls
Eat rotten corpses like disintegrating crows

Gaia is tortured and *****
Mother earth's desecrated womb
Locked butterflies in a tomb
free world for the dead

We are pests in a planet not even our own
Doomed to eternal depression,
Kings of chaos, a royal crown of a dove's corpse
Peace? you'll find that in Hell.

Barren hopes for broken futures
Sacrifical youths to fake idols
Morals drowned in a well
Dead hearts locked in our own decaying cell

Barren hopes
for broken futures
pests in a planet that is not even our own
no dove with an olive branch
no gods no masters no life just caskets.

Engraved,
Dear,
I'll stay gold.

זה מוקדש לכל הנוער האבוד שאוהב להתמרמר

Accept the love you're given
Because it's the only love you'll ever have

Depression is no longer aggression
It becomes routine and order
new world disorder

I know how it feels
See the scars I bear
Listen to the struggles I'll share
I've been there
and will always be
so lift your head up
and listen to me

It's time to learn from mistakes
even when the whole world's at stake
forever life changing decisions
to make

It's okay
just embrace the love
warm in your heart
put your hands up high
and scream
in victory

release me
from these barb wires
I'm just the messenger
it's not my fault you see?
I am a simple man delivering
these words carving a prophecy
scars on my flesh
screen the visions of the end of days
not just a phase
of darkness and dawn of light
oh no,
it's the extinction of all
from dust you came and to dust you'll return
in hellfire this world will burn

I'll take you all with me
the whole ******* world with me

I remember once
They all used to say
I was the brightest shiny star
That I will go far
and reach the sky
As time passed by
I got bigger, taller
smarter
And I realised

THEIR TRUTH WAS ****
AND THEY WERE ALL LIES

A child depressed
oppressed
by greater forces
known as society
soon I saw
That lies defy gravity
As time marches on
Life gets harder
And evil gets further
Inside me
It marches on
in my veins
And I see
Childhood dreams
torn apart

Drawn together
Are the pieces
Made of me
Flesh and blood
sweat and tears that form a sea
Of despair and bitter joy
forming a personality
Identity
This is me
You're all the same
pattern, form,
And society is to blame
For my depression
Agression
lies within me

I'll just be myself
I'll stay myself
Because that is all I have
And it is the force which keeps me
From splitting in half

Time marches on
And so do I.
Forever
Until I'll die.

I bear the pain and shame of this country upon me
I am the ******* son of your political fiasco
I am the ****** spawn of your corruption
I am the outcome of your broken morals, broken culture and dead end future

I carry the weight of this world's mistakes
Atlas ain't got **** on me
I'll slit his throat like I slit my wrists
Because I can't even feel anymore
My legs shaking
Heart rapidly beating
I cant breath
A chokehold of broken hopes
Barren earths
Shattered hearts
World of fears
Fountain of tears

And I drink from it with my bruised hands as if the water is a potion of life and youth, feeling it run down my throat with pleasure... and I  ***** blood and contaminate the water forever, for all the people around me are inferior, and the supreme have already gone to higher spiritual spaces. I am here to stay, to take the beating, to hug the suffering and to embrace death as my companion, my long lost friend.

Release me (x2)
from these barb wires (x2)

empty minds
blank
blink (and open your eyes?)
and see nothing inside
nothing to find (x2)
blank pages no thoughts no words


army of slaves
army of slaves

Everyday a generation comes
and goes
Everyday the sun comes
and goes
so comes the moon and
does the same
Everyday I wonder
Why are we still walking
the same path
that our elders walked
sand repeat the same mistake
our elders did
speak the same
do the same
we never change
Our life is a road always taken and never taken
Never taken
Our own lives.
Each day passes by
and it is all the same
there is nothing new under the sun
there is nothing new under the sun
there is nothing new
under the sun
מַה שֶּׁהָיָה הוּא שֶׁיִּהְיֶה וּמַה שֶּׁנַּעֲשָׂה הוּא שֶׁיֵּעָשֶׂה וְאֵין כָּל חָדָשׁ תַּחַת הַשָּׁמֶשׁ

royal purple
around my eyes
cough out my lungs
***** my guts

rage
fills my heart
and I just want to disappear
fight my fear
social anxiety
don't leave me alone

somehow
my words repeat
themselves
and
my thoughts repeat
themselves
but that is just me and how I feel
I try and solve it but it is too hard
sometimes.

crosswords of words I could never free from the cage in my mouth
pigeons of peace
empty of hope
heartless

A room of my own
A new kind of sanctuary
A new kind of loneliness
An old memory of a shattered childhood

Abandoned feelings in the past
Black out

I told everyone about it
Eventually I'm disappointed
In myself.

I need to shut my mouth
No one needs to hear my problems
my passion
I'm eager to tell everyone everything I love everyone everything
But it'll be better If I'll close myself in my cage
Life is not a big diary and friends are not my psychologist

I find it weird that I'm not sad that she said no
though
It's a loss and it feels like a miss
But no reason to get angry and diss

It's ok bro, no hard feelings, see you today, hope things are okay
I still like you
But I'm okay
I guess.

urge
urge to slit to destroy to ****
all these empty voids i need to fill
missing these emotions i used to feel
weird sensation in the dead cells
necro
nero
a fallen god of death
fall from grace
tear down your face
smear it all over the place
i bathe in it
your blood
be mine

it's your time to shine, baby

Self emotional abuse
It's I against I and it is I who will lose
in this game there are no rules
Just loss and confusion, a game of fools

As my shields break
I break down on my knees
nervous breakdown that is
no mercy no pleas

Dazed, hazed, and confused
rip my heart out and throw it to the sky
launch a rocket and make the country cry
make us free give us life
cut my life with a knife for victory I thrive

My end is my victory
my end is my loss
look down in shame
look up in pride

I don't want to die
\
\
\
\\yet

This is a battle, a war, and the casualties could be your hearts and souls.
Victims of emotion, eruption of life lust
to die for nothig is unjust
we'll never surrender
we're people of the words
writing a guidebook to love
love your friends
love your family
love your life
love yourself

yourself is all you have and all you'll be and by the end of this journey, you'll set yourself free.

I have nothing to offer anybody
except my own confusion
stuck in nowhere
a plague stricken country
a small town
locked down
and a massive explosion
of emotion
running wild in the streets

You'll forget this when it's over
But the words and the images
engraved in my mind
sanity is tough to find
in these hard times
the bell tolls for me
it's time to end my misery

introduce
the noose
twas a good time
bye bye

I am sorry for not possessing standards of society
Let me introduce my friend social anxiety
shoot at me all words and blasphemy
I'm already shattered, it
doesn't matter
anyway

Ecclesiastes is a fake and god is too
no saints no saviours no one is he
a piece of rotting flesh is the only thing you'll be
acceptance is for the holy
too bad deity is dead.

Deicide,
book of the dead, pages bound in human flesh
a man stands alone in the battlefield of life
Can't stand anymore he will cut it with a knife
Scripting a holy of the holiest, a testament in blood.

Here I am spitting words ain't worth a thing
starving, sitting alone, tired of being a simple human being
I hope no one comes ever again, enter the door of my mind ever again
never again
never again

My eyes sewn shut
I just can't handle this anymore
I'm so sorry, there is no purpose
to live for.

A mouth is screaming
everyone is hearing
no one is listening
the lights are on but
no one is in the house

we live for
we sacrifice for
we suffer for
we die for
what?

No matter how hard you're trying
You always feel out of place
outcast with no grace
a person without a face

A human puppet with no feelings
no one really cares
they just care
about themselves

A ring of outcasts
forms a new social circle
a social circle of outcasts out casts
people like you.

How does it feel?
hypocrisy's a cruel deal.
a social circle of outcasts out casts
people exactly, like, you.

Here we are
one by one
never reached far
together
we help each other
to grab a piece of a cloud
a piece of the sky
and be proud

Bonded by darkness
we are misfits in our own home

They said you cannot seen colours in darkness
they were wrong

A disease
set us apart
sow us together
for better or worse

a life we did not choose
a path walked by mistake
never knowing when to wake
up

red blood red
covers our hands
war vision
visions of war
and a broken casette
with smudged images of terror

raise our head or put it down in shame
it really doesn't matter, we are the ones to blame.

Drown in the ocean
Dive into the sun
Shadow swallows the moon
chaos is gone
chaos become
chaos begone
chaos is welcome

Epilogue
Start over
run for cover
he has come

Tear the clothes
Rip off my skin
Had enough
Had enough

I see you looking at me
But not really just pretending
To avoid
Your heart is a black void
Empty.

Red hair, brown coat, blue jeans
All these colours and you're greyer
It seems
So real but not really.
Nope.

All the colour from my hair
Seems to fade away
The roots begin to show
Don't look back.

I hope the next redhead isn't as awful as you are.

Dissolving in the air
I wish I were
I wish I were

I think I'm the only one
making this pain severe
i'm not in depression
depression is in my mind
i make myself depressed
my
mind
is
so
messed
up.

It's friday and I'm too tired and sick to see the world outside,
anyone I meet makes me disappointed and angry

Atleast I have my ****
but that is sad too
because even my *****
won't stand up.

We are in this together
this is for the hearts still beating
passion, devotion, loving
struggling against the same life we're fearing
we're in this together
looking out for each other
they say all we love we leave behind
life is not each to his own, or so I'd like to think
I always keep my friends in mind
it's our time to shine.

red.
freckles.
blue, shining
I.
see.
through you,
and I believe god has perfect timing

No
no way
this can't be happening
how could it be
why
why did you die
how could you
leave us alone
a feast to the lions
a feast to the devil
you disgusting creature
and you call yourself a man?
you're not even a human being
just a piece of rotting shame with two legs

a feast to the lions
a feast to the devil

Keep breathing
keep breathing
keep breathing
keep breathing

birds flying over
a mountain
full of clovers
one red in a field of greens

wake up
wake up
wake up

hallucinations filling
imagine feeling
comatose
forget the life you chose
this is
an eternal comatose
eternal
coma
coma

keep breathing

Maybe I think that I...
maybe people do too
maybe I think that
I think like an adult
not really

It's an act
I act
like a kid
no tact
no thought
it's a fact
I can't believe
you bought
it
is an act.

Everyday i come back home
with a stupid smile on my face
and tears choking my throat

In the deep sea of helplessness and thought, innocence and meaning is where I float.

Not in rivers, but in drops
an underground stream
make way

please remember
(we are) footprints in sand
the burning of *****
the lost name of god
(I) pity the sadness
bonded by blood

Take my bones away,
march to the sea
giving their heir to the masses

Bone voyage.

Sleep
like silk
covers me
makes me warm
yet I wake up cold.

Me and my girlfriend broke up a few days ago
her name was motivation
I am disintegration.

Survival of the fittest
Only
only the best
will remain

Chains of society
A new race of people
that obey orders
normal, ideal,
closed in a cage, sealed in borders

this is not the life
I have dreamt of
3 years
it just goes by
it will end
they say
they say it will go quick
fade away
I can't believe that they are unable to notice
that what is fading away slowly
is me.
Look me in the eye
swallow my tears
swallow my fears
see them tearing down my spine
i'm not fine
i'm not fine

looks like freedom
feels like death
it‘s something in
between i guess

No one blamed me
No one trapped me
I have imprisoned myself

In this room I'm safe
my ears filled with static noise
I'm safe
Here I'll grow up
I'll get old
But I know
that I will always
always
rot
In heaven.

Aggression
Depression
SO much of it
cant stand it
thoughts shooting from every corner in my brain
ricochet
decay

I want to let it out
I want to hit someone so bad
but I can't hurt others
so Ill hurt myself
self harm
dis arm
negativity
creativity
****** my skin

my scars shine bright red
and my soul pitch black.

Green eyes
hypnotize
deep blue
deep into you

Rayleigh scattering
yellow turns to red
blue goes away
I fade away

meditates
elevates
******
He ******* in a rainbow against the rising sun.

confusion
fusion
focus
my hemispheres
my mind
cannot
anymore

please stop this
please
im on my knees

the clouds
they hover
over me
i wonder
if my doings will stay
forever

deep blue
crystal clear
i can't keep on
living in fear

all I have are cigarette burns
scars on my arms
and broken bones

I am sorry
but I have nothing left
to give to you
go on and be
who you are supposed to

because I'll stay

this is killing me this is killing me this is killing me
barricaDEAD
trapped between
four walls

I can't feel a thing besides
loneliness
im such a leech
i deserve this

going back to the army tomorrow
all i feel, thinking about that
is sorrow

i always feel so alone
even with people surrounding me
it's strange I tell you
and it sends shivers down my spine
i pretend and say "im fine"

I always try and be the best I can
the happiest I can
use all the resources around
but chains of sadness keep me bound

it's strange I tell you
I can be happy for a minute
and sad the next
always feel alone and not wanted

I guess I'm a creep
I guess I'm strange
I just want to sleep
deep
down
the sea
drown
me

I'm vomiting
and not only life itself
even words
feelings
basically everything.

believe me
I may smile
but I can't sleep
my eyes burning
And I don't want tomorrow to arrive
so I'm just sitting here waiting
and as time passes by
I feel my stomach getting crushed
I feel my head getting crushed
I feel static noises
static noises
Penetrating my ears
and all my fears
coming down on me
whispering

Sitting here
waiting
wishing
tomorrow never comes
tomorrow never comes

pitch black
heart attack
night covers my face in shadow
and im hallucinating
seeing my body flow
in the river of blood
river nile
it's been a while
since I dreamt
I never dream

because I'm always sitting here waiting
hoping that tomorrow never comes
but it always does
it always does

Carve your love
all over my skin
carve your love
blood on my skin

hate me
hate me
hate me

“Naked I came from my mother’s womb,
    and naked I will depart.
The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away;
    may the name of the Lord be praised.”

get a job
get a wife
get a purpose in life

I keep searching the maze in my mind
morality, sanity
be kind,
rewind
to the days when I had no one
and I made it all by myself

but now it feels all empty again
studying, working,
drinking, smoking
mingling
and what is it worth for?

only the future holds the truth
unveil it like a dress
and see
everything's a mess.

LAPIDATE YOUR INSULTS AT ME
CAN'T YOU SEE
I'M DROWNING

a death of a thousand cuts
thousands of words
ripping my flesh apart

"What is thy name?"
"My name is Legion: for we are many."