You were the sun, I was a flower
I looked up to you to learn, you set me free to bud
You kept me warm through windy spring nights
You taught me to grow through golden leaves falling
After storms, you crept from behind the clouds to help me dry
When snow fell, I was buried beneath the ice and you brought me back again
But once the summer came, you blazed so bright I couldn’t see

The sweltering sun, my sweet sun
I took your light, your love, and I blossomed
Then I grew, only to realize you would always be far up there
I took too much and waited, wilted and grey in the end.

When the sun sleeps and the night is silent
I lie restless and alone,
As my eyelids are heavy while my mind screams...
Yet, it is bliss to glance outside
To see the moon in the darkness, beaming like a distant friend, a speck in the horizon
And although we both know I'm not meant to be with wonders such as the stars
He never leaves me behind, always calling through the window

Life is truly a wonder
The world is a place I live for
My heart swells with bewilderment as the sun rises
And when the stars twinkle silent and still, I watch them from my bedroom window

Yet, the only thing that doesn't seem quite right
Is the haunting hatred swirling in the shards of my shattered soul from the moment I wake  
For my heart wishes to learn to love myself
As much as I am in love with the universe

An hour before the clock strikes 12
The city’s full of screaming we can’t escape
You pick me up in your rickety car
The engine starts, and so does my midnight dreaming

We drive around, eyes closing but we're awake
The night is as cold as it gets
And our chests feel heavy and we don’t know why
So on and on, we drive to forget

The wheels go round and round,
So do our thoughts, the sorrows bottled up inside of us
We spoke to each other, we listened
We cried together then laughed then cried again

It’s funny, the world’s deceiving
The colors in all the people we once loved faded
Yet you are the only one who’s golden
Bright in the night like all the lights

And we were vulnerable, so volatile
But those windows, side view mirrors, windshield wipers
Turned out to armour us from the coldness of the world
And nothing else mattered, as long as we were in your little car.

**I sat in the passenger seat
You stepped on the pedal, we sped away
Just to feel alive.

I want to see the world
But I'm afraid of growing old.
I want to dance in the falling snow
But I'm afraid of the winter cold.
I want to set sail on flowing tides
But I'm afraid stormy seas will unfold.
I want to walk through busy, lively streets
But I'm afraid I'll get lost with no hand to hold.
I long to live, to feel the world in my bones
But I've yet to learn to be brave and bold.

i. I wish the world would stop screaming for a few minutes
I hear the cars rush by, people talking, buildings swaying
Please calm down, I can only take so much
Let me close my eyes and sleep.

I'll tuck you into bed
Keep the night light turned on, tell you fairytales to color dreams like when you were young
To make the world as calm as I can
As long as you don't let go.

ii. My mind is always at war, I don't know why
I fight with myself, suffocated by my own chaos
I never can tell if I'm wrong or right
I wish I could say it's Everybody
But it's probably just me.

Soldier on
But I'll be there to heal your wounds
Catch the grenades, take all the bullets
Anything to silence the thoughts
That keep you up at night.

iii. Somebody help me, I can't see?
Take my hand and show me the way
Every face I see is a blur
When they talk to me, it's static sound
I feel like nobody will ever come around.

I'll never let you go, that's a promise
I'll show you the road to freedom
There we can drive, speed away as far as you want to
And bring with us the people who care
You are never alone

iv. I feel the world again, it's heavier
Settling on my shoulders, I can't breathe
But I close my eyes, I hear the sea dancing
It tells me to let go, wind in my hair, let the waves carry me away
And I decide, maybe this time I'll come along
I feel weightless, the sun kissing my skin
Perhaps this is goodbye.

Wait for me, I'll lift the world for you
Ease the pain you've known
The sorrow you cannot explain
Don't fade away, don't give in
Remember the way the flowers bloom after storms
You'll be alright, even when everything says you won't
Please listen to me.

i. He says he'll embrace me through the night
And so I allow him to
Then I feel his arms tangle around me
Strangling me gently with his thoughts
About neverending things I'd rather not ponder on.

ii. He tells me to get up from my bed
Leads me to a mirror
I look at my own reflection
And instead of seeing myself, I gaze upon broken shards of glass
A distorted image, I am disgusted; I can't look anymore.

iii. He hands me a blade
Touches my wrists softly, guiding me:
"Let it run along your skin.
Let the blood dance."
He said it would make me forget for a while.

iv. He whispered sweet nothings
Which turned out to be haunting words once he disappeared
And I sat up in the cold, hours on end
Waiting for nothing: eyes tired but never closing
Because I felt so alone
And there was nobody to phone.

v. And even as the stars were shining
The night grew on longer
Coldness so bitter, darkness beyond jet black
Because he ordered me to stay there
And I did so, accordingly.
I no longer felt like fighting.

vi. Then, I remembered:
I closed my eyes, pulled my blanket over me
Shut my mind off and stopped thinking, stopped breathing
Counted a few numbers
And opened my eyes to the sun rising
To find that he was finally gone.