Into a place far away but too familiar,
I push open the rusty purple gates,
Inhale a lungful of the province air,
Kick away blue pebbles on the dusty ground,
And then
Mano my lolo, my tito
Beso my lola, my tita
And give my cousins a nudge on the arm,
A pinch on the cheeks.

I squeeze between four people
In a rickety wooden bench and
Pass around plate after heavy plate.
I fill my banana leaf
With spaghetti too soft too sweet,
Almost like pudding,
With crispy chicken dripping with oil.
I wash it off with a cool glass of gulaman,
Chewy beads and gems in sugary water.

Fathers talk about basketball, boxing, billiards;
Mothers browse through photo albums and magazines;
While we children argue about Superman or Batman.
Our laughter fills the humid air
And goes up, up, up to the ears of the neighbors.

In celebration of the time we have together
And a nice sunny day
We devour our meals
And go ahead and
Climb trees and
Get our faces sticky with sweet fruits,
Lick chocolate ice popsicles,
Chase each other in the weedy playground,
Bike around town,
Pick colorful flowers,
Wrestle with each other,
Play badminton on a windy day,
Scare around chickens and guinea pigs,
And play patintero under the dull orange street lamps.

We nervously creep inside the back door,
All sweaty, bearing bruises and scratches
But still with wide smiles on our faces.
All is futile though.
An angry grandmother awaits,
Scolding us for
Coming home past sunset.

More and more stars glitter the sky
As the night gets deeper and deeper.
The gentle evening breeze whistles a note
As it enters through the window.
The karaoke blasts grating voices
Interrupted by hearty laughter.
Playing cards and corn chips litter the table.
We children exchange jokes and ghost stories.

And then,
We bid our goodbyes,
Sharing hugs and kisses
Stained with discontent and sadness.
Our hearts about to burst
In excitement for the next
Reunion.

Here I lie, broken and shattered, thinking what difference would it make if I die
You think I am giving up on life without a try?

I haven't accepted my desolation and misery without a fight,
I just realised that at the end of this tunnel is no light

I've played out my cards, I have used every trick in the book,
The world has simply lost its colour, I wish you could look

It's like someone flips a coin and nothing seems right,
I am drained, I no longer have the instinct to fight.

I strived too hard to find the purpose of my existence but failed,
The boat which heads for a happy life has already sailed.

We have bid goodbye,
there's no longer you and I.

My words are tears that,
flow down through my pen.

Did you leave me,
because you wanted someone better to come in my life?

I wanted you to love me like never before
          
          but before me you had already met the love of your life
          she broke your heart when she walked away carelessly
       meanwhile I previously broke some hearts on my own trajectory

          But I, for one I had never been in love with anyone, I believe  
                
                                                Not until you