My back hurts so bad,

But nobody will help,

Please let me die now.

My mind is an ocean
And I'm drowning

people romanticize self-harm
as if it's nothing special
and really, no one is alarmed
everyone's stopped being careful

it's not just about the blood
it really eats your heart out
the suffering makes your head flood
and everything seems so loud

you can't just seek pitiful attention
saying "oh, look, i'm depressed"
you really do deserve a lecture
because the real deal would say so much less

cutting ruins your body
it also pierces your soul
you seek a friend or just anybody
but you always end up alone

the cup of coffee in the morning
is the only thing keeping you alive
the rest of the time you're crying
trying to get thoughts out of your mind

you've got a stash of blades
hiding under your bed
today your sister got engaged
and you might end up dead

you try to down twenty pills
with a chug of burning *****
maybe then you'd see flowery hills
but it's just likely to cause you trauma

you stare at your own blank wall
trying to find a slimmer of hope
and nobody's there to watch you fall
as you exit this life with some dope

I wish everything was dfferent. That you had loved me and still did. That I didn't want to **** myself every second of the day. That my mother didn't say the wounding things she says. That my father had a backbone to tell her to stop. That you and I could talk. But everything in my life seems so...agonizingly hard.

Does living
So you don't disappoint anyone
Count
As a will to live?