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I am true to my word
Except when it comes to us

I mean when I say
Yes and no mean the same.

I need you to leave
Go ape once I put it to ink

Thinking I will never kiss those lips
See that smile of his.

I am weak
Because you make me strong

I push you away
Because all this is wrong.

It is for the best
I feel worse once said

Back and forth
My words lose their worth

I promise I do not love you
I don't, I don't.
Hey moon?
I am so sorry for you
I know you mean well
But I can't stand to look at you
You symbolize Lonelyness
You make me sad
Why do you have to be so sad?
You rise and fall
You wait for your fire love
And you can't face eachother
Why don't you give up ?
Hey moon ?
Can you teach me how to be as strong as you ?
Teach me how to be okay with being lonely
Teach me how to be Okay with never being with my fire love
Teach me how to be okay.
You make it look so easy moon.
Hey moon?
Does it get annoying when you have asteroids that keep hitting you ?
Does it get annoying when people try to understand you?
Moon, Can You Hear Me?
You are lonely but you shine bright
Are you really lonely?
I get it Moon.
Just because You can't see or be with your fire love
You know that with every orbit
You can rotate around the world
And show strength to people like me
Who try to talk to a Block of Rock from the atmosphere
You aren't lonely.
Ha ! I get it now moon
You've been fooling it
You Moon don't symbolize sadness
You show strength
So I thank you moon
For showing a person like me
With false hope
Something to look at every night
So hey moon?
Are you okay?
You may not get this question often
But I'm not of many
So I ask you this
If one day you can finally be with your fire love
Would you really be happy?
Like come on
You get the thing you want most
But does it make you happy that you don't have to fight anymore ?
Moon I just don't get it
Why do what you do
If you never get what you want?
So maybe it's more than just looking for love
Maybe it's looking for a friend
I have yet to believe that your lonely,
I still can't believe it
I refuse to
. Why you ask
Because you after all these years seem fine
I mean everyone can fake happiness
But you've done it for many years
Tell me how to do it.
Can I have a Penny for your Thoughts
Matter of fact how about 3
A penny for you
A penny for me
And the other one so I can get to know you entirely
I wanna get to know you from the neck .  up
I wanna know what gets you mad enough to punch walls
I wanna know your pet peeves
I wanna know how far your smile goes when your smiling like an idiot
I wanna know if you sleep on the left or right side
I wanna know your favorite position. . In football
I wanna know if you even like football
I wanna know where you see your self in 5 years
If not 5 years, I wanna know what you're planning to eat tonight
I wanna know you're mind set when push comes to shove
I wanna know how long can you last..
In the intimate game of starring at eachother
I wanna know your shoe size.
Because if I ever decide to fall for you,
I'll be like yea he was a size 12
I wanna know what drives you crazy
I wanna know how far you'd take things . .
In Life
I wanna know if I were to kiss you,
Would you be Hard . . To get or would I already have you
I wanna know what gets you annoyed
So I'll make sure I'll annoy You twice a day
I wanna know if your good in card games
So we can play crazy rights until 3am
I wanna know if you ever been hurt
So I can show you that it's different
I wanna know if your ready . .
Because I already sat down and buckled my seat belt
I wanna know if one day I wake up to you, you'd tell me my favorite 3 words
"Are you hungry?"
I wanna know what makes your mouth water. .
I wanna know if you a are you full or where's the dessert type of guy
I wanna know if we're driving at 2am
Would you be able to tell me your hopes and dreams
I wanna know if your ticklish
So if your ever not smiling I get to make you smile
I wanna know if you prefer lights on or off. . .
When playing PS4 or Xbox
I wanna know if you sing in the shower
I wanna know if your into taking pictures . .
Because Id save all your silly pictures
I wanna know if you wanna make a movie. . .
Of a lifetime with me
I wanna know your insecurities
So I can love them the most
I wanna know what type of songs you listen to,
So when ever we decide to go on a road trip
We be bumpin
I wanna know if you get one of those little attitudes when your jealous
I wanna know how to never lose your attention
I wanna know if you'd be able to love me because I have battle scars
I wanna know if you think about me as much as I think about Honey buns
I wanna know if you look at me and say
 "man she loves to eat"
I wanna know if you like silly nicknames
I'll give you something like Sugarpapi .
I wanna know if a writer falls in love with you, would you want to live forever
Because words never die
So therefore,
Can I have a penny for your thoughts
You can rate me,
You can bait me,
You can freight me,
You can strait me,
Simulate me,
Even better
Drop a roofie,
Game a debtor.
You're so groovy, misbehaving,
Give it to me,
Trouble waiting,
Always mating,
You can wake me,
You can slave me,
You can grade me,
You can shave me,
Integrate me,
I pulsating
A new navy,
All the skimmings,
Jehovah's witness,
Keep on stalking,
Better fitness,
Keep on shocking,
Shell is thinning,
Gettin' gotten,
Rot 'n' reeling.

Don't touch my bikini.
Better smile when you see me,
You can stare
That's a freebie.
Don't touch my bikini.
Looking is free,
But touching's gonna cost you

Smooth and lanky,
Hanky panky,
Got no treat or
New York Yankee,
Super leader,
Count to seven,
Go to Paris,
Break the leaven,
Roger Maris,
Bleed the Czar,
Shooting star,
You're so levy,
You're so sunny,
Getting ready,
Here's the money,
Socking heady,
Making honey,
Toasting herons,
That's not funny,
Waiter Betty,
Way too ****,
You're so on it,
You're so honest,
You can fool me,
You remold me,
All the preachers never told me,
Heavy breathing
Punting reason,
Welcome season.

Don't touch my graffiti.
Smile if you dare,
Oily oinkers everywhere.
Keep watching, you graffiti.
Next time you'll learn
That touching's gonna cost you
 Jan 2017 Neville Johnson
You're 1, you made it past.
You're 10, you made the pass.
You're 20, you didn't pass.
You're 30, that was your past.
You're 40, you walked past.
You're 50, you get a pass.
You're 60, you let it pass.
You're 70, you should pass.
You're 80, and now you're passed.
Sue took my hand
on a saturday night
walked her home
when she told me with all her might

About her rock n roll boys
and her school shenanigans
how she found her voice
in the backroom with her toys

She seemed to be a bad girl
out of my league
so during the way home
i could only look at her rosy cheeks

Got to her doorstep
where she whispered goodbye
kissed me on my cheek and said
till monday, you magpie
 Jan 2017 Neville Johnson
 Jan 2017 Neville Johnson
Moving on is realizing
that loving someone new
does not mean that
your past feelings were faithless.
Love is not finite,
it grows with you.
You cut it open and let it fill the gaps with your blood,
You're exhausted,
The clouds in your head do everything they can to stick around, you wish people would do the same,
You are not surprised anymore,
You destroy yourself to get a taste of the bad because you've had the good and it just doesn't give you the high you crave anymore and you hate it but you can't stop,
You can't stop,
You're lighting fires, starting riots, you even take as many pills as you possibly can but none of this will make you feel anything and you're left feeling as empty as you did when you came into this,
Have you ever looked at yourself? I suggest you don't

There are cigarettes on your breath,
Your eyes have bags under them that could hold the world and then some,
People come and go now, and you care a little bit, but not enough to do anything about it,
You got your license over the summer, the highways around here know you better than your family does at this point and you think you like that,
You think if you run away far enough from all of this that it'll go away,
You make yourself as busy as you possibly can in hopes that it will take your mind off of all of this,
You still think about her every day, but she doesn't think about you anymore, you don't do anything about this,
It's getting cloudy again,
You don't sleep as much anymore

You get upset because you care more than they do, but you don't say anything,
You start to wear colors again because black just doesn't make you feel as pretty,
You want to feel pretty because they're  pretty and they deserve someone just as pretty,
Your demons aren't as ugly as hers, and you fight hers off to make it look like yours are as weak as your grandfather's spine, she doesn't buy it

You lose your virginity,
You feel powerful,
You feel broken, but you feel powerful,
Everything hurts all of the time but you don't want to realize it because you're in love and being in love is powerful,
You watch her smoke cigarettes,
You smoke her cigarettes,
You break yourself on her because it is the first and last time you will ever feel like you're able to pick yourself back up when heartbreak pushes you down,
Your parents don't believe you're depressed,
You don't eat as much,
You can't sleep like you used to be able to, it hurts you,
Your best friend tells you that the only reason you're so sad all of the time is because you don't believe in God

You start to believe in a god and you start to believe in yourself but you forget the difference

You get high for the first time and you realize why addicts choose to live in their worlds instead of ours

You wake up and you feel nothing

You wake up and you feel nothing

You try homeschool this year because your private Christian elementary school never prepared you for public high school and they force you so far into the ground that being a corpse sounds better than being a flower in the soil, you believe every word they tell you,
You isolate yourself,
You listen to extremely depressing music and you like it,
You start to wear all black,
You feel alone no matter how many people are around you,
You throw yourself into the snow on a cold December morning because at this point you just want to feel something, anything,
Your parents don't agree with you,
Your mother tells you to pray and your father doesn't even listen to you,
Your mother gets breast cancer this year,
You ask yourself how the anxiety is still letting you think for yourself since you realize something so deadly can spread so rapidly

Your uncle takes his own life,
This is the first time you really think about death,
You wonder what it would be like to be like them,
To wake up and never feel anything ever again, and you kind of like it,
That cute girl you really like smiles at you in the hallway now, you've been at her for months,
It's funny how young love starts to take roots,
Everything is fine now

Moving schools is hard, this is the first experience you have with losing friendships,
It's crazy how often they come and go now

You can't even remember the last time you didn't get more than 8 hours of sleep,
Your dog is your best friend,
You don't even think about the color black, your favorite color is red like fire

Your best friend's father kills her mother and then himself,
You wonder what it's like,
How wonderful it would be to make someone stay forever and never be able to leave  

Your grandmother is alive,
She has a funny smell around her whenever you visit her,
There's this weird stick in her mouth that looks like it's on fire,
You don't like it




You can name every single kind of dinosaur that ever existed and you love hot wheels,
Your favorite food is peanut butter and jelly, but you only eat it if your mother makes it


Your grandmother loves to buy you toys,
She tells you that the memories are worth more than the money,
You remember this specifically


Your second birthday party includes a ball pit, hundreds of balloons, and all of your family members,
I wonder if this is what my funeral will be like


Your mother and father meet with the doctor again,
You're on your way and they've never felt more excited in their lives

I wonder if they ever wondered about how their little boy would grow up,
I wonder if they ever thought about how I would turn out,
I wonder if they ever wondered about everything that would happen to me

It's funny how everything someone experiences in their lives molds them into what they become,
Out of everything, I wonder what it was that made me so numb

Sometimes life feels slow,
Other times it feels like it's going a million miles an hour

Sometimes it feels like I'm living in dog years because I've seen too much to be this young
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