Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
When we're lying in your bed
In the dark carnal midnight
I might say that I love you
But in the cold light of morning
When we look at each other
We both know there's nothing
Further from the truth

I know you don't love me
But you could put up with me
At least then your child gets a daddy
I know I don't love you
I don't know why I pretend to
It just seems the polite thing to do

We're not getting any younger
And being alone seems so frightening
So we live this lie and hate each other
More with each day
There's no love, there's no passion
We don't even care about the ***
But we know it's the last chance we might get
This started as a song lyric, but I think it works well on the page too.
Sunlight glinting, reflecting off a car's chrome
White clouds gliding across the pale blue dome
The smell of cut grass on the evening breeze
Leaves and flowers fill the trees

Teenage girls are hardly dressed
Which keeps the teenage boys impressed
Hormones and emotions mixed with summer sweat
Teenage summer nights can be hard to forget

Us older ones just sit and smile
Drink and enjoy ourselves for a while
Remember summers in our past
Yes they were great but they never last

Because soon enough comes Autumn's breeze
Blowing leaves and flowers from the trees
And a summer is just blown away
To be remembered another day
Surely the saddest thing in the world must be
To see someone​ you once knew intimately
And they look straight​ through you with unknowing eyes
Which slowly dilate in surprise

Awkwardly you start to speak
And gaze upon that face, that cheek
That you once rained kisses upon
Now it's not yours, those days are gone

And you realise what once was " we "
Is now only " you " and​ " me "
Two people who are worlds apart
And once again you've broken my heart
 Aug 2017 Neville Johnson
maybe some day
we’ll get the courage to tell the people we love
how we feel
but that day is not today
there’s this danger
that tomorrow may never come
that there are too many things
we leave on the side
and save for a rainy day
that we push onto a shelf
and bookmark for later
and the words never come pouring out
but stay quiet and hidden in the dark
and maybe it’s for the best
but then we never realize
that these words could have meant something
to someone
that maybe they could’ve changed one thing
a little thing
that meant a whole lot
that maybe they just needed
a little push
an ounce of support
a single word
to lift the load day by day
and maybe we should have taken the words off the shelf
and given them away day by day
left little bits and pieces
on tabletops and car windows
on seat cushions and blankets
on television screens and corkboards
on billboards on the way to work
and traffic signs on the way home
on arms and hands and cheeks and chests
things that accumulated day by day
and made someone feel a little less heavy
and a whole lot more loved
but the truth is
every day goes from hours till dark
to minutes
to seconds
to moments that drift away and slip off our fingers
and before we know it
the sun has set
the lights have gone out
the birds have gone to sleep
and the moment has past
“there’s always tomorrow”
we say
but what if the load gets too heavy?
what if it breaks their back?
what if everything comes crashing down a little too soon
and it won’t take a little word to fix it?
what if you open up the jar on the shelf
and find that the words you’ve saved up
are no longer enough?
what then?
what then
 Aug 2017 Neville Johnson
I am going... to try.
Not for you, but for me.
I will go downstairs and I will eat dinner.
I will wake up tomorrow and I will have breakfast, I will have lunch, I will have dinner. I will eat my snacks.
And if I cannot do all of it, that is okay.
I can try again the next day.
It's alright if I make mistakes. I can do that.
But I am going to try.
It's not cool when people care about you because you made yourself throw up.
It's not cool when people care about you because you can barely walk or stand without being lightheaded.
It's not cool when people care about you because you are sitting at meals staring at your food like it's some sort of foreign object.
It's not cool when you receive attention for your vitals being so bad that you faint.
It's cool when people applaud you for the hard work you have been putting in.
It's cool when you've made progress and people tell you they are proud.
It's cool when you get to go outside everyday because you've earned privileges.
It's cool when you get attention for doing well and having someone put their hand on your back and say, "hey, I know today was hard. But you made it through."
My eating disorder is not cool. In fact it's proven to be incredibly uncool.
I used to hate when people told me they were proud of me, but as I got told today how much I was loved and how proud everyone was of me I realized how cool recovery was.
I am not going to give up. It's going to be incredibly difficult. And some days, it may feel impossible but no matter what,
I am going to try.

- thoughts after being kicked out of treatment
if i was a dancer, you’d be the music, making me feel what you are in every bone in my body, holding me down and lifting me up with every note within you.

can you feel it?

this love is a whisper and a scream at the same time, and everything about that is perfect. your eyes meet mine and they are an intergalactic reminder of what it really means to be. with you i am. there is no want to be, could be, trying to be. i just am.

i am yours, i am happy. i am healing. i am beautiful. you make me feel beautiful in every way, and not just because you say i am.

you are the first thing i think about when i wake up, and the last thing on my mind as i fall asleep.

i am always looking for you when i enter a room and when i’m not, i’m wishing you were there. when i walk into any space,  you are the first and only person i see. it’s like those scenes in the movies where everything blurs, and the two lovers are the only ones in focus as their eyes meet from opposite sides of the room and a love song is playing.

can’t you hear it?

this love is a slow jam and an alternative rock love ballad all at once. it’s the tingly feeling i get inside when you say you love me, and the look on your face when you think i’m utterly ridiculous but also quite funny. it’s our witty banter and the way you always make me smile like some sort of happy idiot.

you are a galaxy with an infinite number of stars. but somehow, i know i can always count on you.
Next page