I do not have a ****** heart..
It's been ****** with,
And torn apart..
My heart is a *******,
Getting payed with love-filled lies.
My ****** body isn't yet caught up.
I gave all that was inside of me,
Trying to protect what I was born with,
My cleanliness, my virginity,
My purity..
My ****** body is white, pure, clean.
But my heart is black, broken, dead..
Waiting to be revived.
So please, revive my heart..
But don't take my body..

Im 17 and I still have my flower the
petals have yet to fall keep trying to  
       tell these boys you gotta have it all
I need someone who can keep up with my
         Pace or maybe a little  faster
Not someone who wants me to chase after
I just want a boy who wants to see me  
      Make it and not see my naked
                 Momma raised a queen
         These heels to tall to chase a boy
Im far too good to be played with do I look
                           Like a toy?

I feel unlike everyone else
But I know I'm not the only one walking trough hell.
I guess I; need an angel, or maybe a demon.
It really just depends which one I'm feed'en.
And I have them both standing on my shoulders. One giving me orders. The other is my soilder. And they both talking about my disorders. But I ignore them and blow them off like mortars. So I guess I need to find that shoulder to cry on, the one to rely on. I wouldn't care if she drove an ion or a scion. But she knows that I'm keeping my eye on her. But its really just a fight of surviver. But really its the insider myself the fight through hell. Is there anyone else?

Oblivious  to you lies and
Distracted by your smile only gave you
  More time to play me for awhile
          But we ended so you had to find a new victim ,somehow I became the victim
Of your new relationship guess I couldn't  
                      Escape your grip
I used a bat and some pliers to free myself
                           It worked
I thought I was too poise to get physical
     But sometimes when your pushed
To the edge ,falling is theonly way to go
        Next time dont disturb a goddess at peace they dont like to be bothered.

Why did i let him in?10 months have passed but I've still haven't forgot,Counselor tells me to forgive,trick question ,Do I forgive me for not fighting as hard as I could,not screaming loud  enough, allowing him in my house,or trusting him.Flashbacks include scrubbing my skin till it was irritated trying to remove his scent,only one question haunts me daily,why did I let him in?So called friend that was there when I needed him never crossed my mind he would commit such a sin.Yes he did the crime but I did the time ,Time spent crying and punishing myself for what happened is it true you can control others actions? why couldn't I stop him from tearing off my underwear?Could I stop him from stealing what was rightfully mines?On a mission to get it back, It shouldn't have Left me anyways,but I'm scared to knock on his door scared once he sees my tears he'll realize the score,why did I let him in when he knocked on my door?