Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
N
mrmonst3r Mar 2015
N
You are a world away
I am entirely numb
Disconnect, dial again
Know
"I think I'm dumb"
Redefine success
Without bars or locks
Leave the past behind
In this Heart-Shaped Box
All apologies
A grain becomes a pearl
Unseen complications
In thinking
About a girl
Thanks Kurt.
mrmonst3r Jan 2017
In the care of warmth
I lost the tarnished nature
jagged spittle
Black snakes writhing
The Doom ov virtue
This care wears me down
Softening the edges of
My brittle soul.
Chasing affection like a child,
Weakened by a state of want.
I am not this
Just a form that flows —
Adrift on chaos limb.
mrmonst3r Dec 2014
**** the truth
**** the lies
**** the stupid
**** the wise
**** uncertainty
**** pain
**** your face
**** your name
**** the narrative
**** intent
Your love never
left a dent
**** the pills
**** the symptoms
**** logic
**** religion
**** your friends
**** the games
**** the cause
**** the blame
**** malice
**** fear
But most of all —
**** NEW YEAR
I h8 New Year's Eve.
mrmonst3r Dec 2014
You brought radiance
Into my darkness.
But now,
In night skies
No stars remain.
Thanks to Carly Jo Maiuro for the inspiration.
mrmonst3r Feb 2015
This sickened day.
Burrowing —
Further into shadow,
Further into regret.
A minus
Struck against my worth.
These sins —
These worthless aspects
Born into flesh.
Parceled to beyond.
Away.
Away.
You are all strangers
Blurry ghosts in the streets.
Was everything.
        too much
        to ask?
Who cares about the love?
Who cares about the tender words?
It was a lifetime ago.
I'm pointed to oblivion
                           without
return.
mrmonst3r Apr 2015
Upon opening my eyes
I awake to nothing
It is the benchmark of my days
Spent in furious labour
Or idling in empty hours
The result is always
Nothing
To love and tend in furious passion
To sicken and hate shamelessly
It still remains as nothing
Each whispered cause
Each luminous belief
Is nothing
Without meaning or reward
As each day fades
I close my eyes
To nothing.
mrmonst3r Feb 2017
I used to think
It was cruel
I was left like this,
That a lover should hear my plea.
But
I've changed my mind
Over some time.
No woman should ever
Settle for me.
I was a vital young man,
A wild stag
Unbound.
time changes everybody.
Now I'm bitter. I'm weak.
A heartless freak,
No woman should ever
Settle for me.
Think of your Beauty,
Think of your worth
"True Love" shouldn't be charity.
All I'd show you is woe
It's best that you know —
No woman should ever
Settle for me.
Save your kisses,
Your words.
All the effort you spend
I mean that
Affectionately.
Go chase your dreams!
As I fall apart at the seams.
No woman should ever
Settle for me.
mrmonst3r Nov 2014
It's quiet and cold inside.
Silent hostility,
Leaving me numb.
The misery breaks,
Washing away all trace of humanity.
This flood won't cleanse but eradicate.
All comfort and empathy denied.
Your words are empty missiles,
Leaving no trace of impact.
Cradle and embrace me,
But I can't feel you.

This is the ebb and flow of annihilation,
This is the will draining,
This is the light fading.

As I lose myself,
You never knew me.
mrmonst3r Nov 2014
Don't mistake my silence
for strength.
It's not acceptance.
It's not me moving on,
Nor indifference.
I am quiet for you,
Lovingly so.
Sweet in intention.
In meaning,
In heart.
So if my tongue is cut,
Lifeless.
It's because I love you.
Despite
This solitude.
This suffocation.
In every minute,
In every pause.
The cost —
You're removing me.
mrmonst3r Feb 2015
I've decided to forget you.
Each stray thought,
Each reminiscence —
Is now just a loveless reminder.
A sentimental stab.
So,
I've decided to forget.
No longer
Will sad associations be traded
with meaningless facts.
No more
Tangential heartache.
No
Hastily covered tears.
Just slow burning
Synaptic ruin.
Our secrets,
Our dreams of the sea —
Washed away.
But I can never forget you.
mrmonst3r Oct 2016
The narrative slows
Blank pages —
Once filled
with life.
This tremulous heart,
Fading
Diminished with tears,
Washed with abandonment.
Humanity
Becoming nothing.
mrmonst3r Nov 2014
We never made it to the sea,
You and I.
I loved so deep that it left a scar.
The wreckage of my flesh,
Weeps crimson tears.
My sweet purgatory.
My damnation.
Cutting deeper —
Without price.
Without pain.
We never made it to the sea,
But I am drowning.
mrmonst3r Dec 2014
Bereavement
Means
"seize by violence".
As you were torn
away
So violently —
It left a wound.
mrmonst3r Feb 2015
In your love,

I knew redemption.
I found trust,
A wealth of beauty in dark glories.
I saw stars
under heartless skies.
Alpha and Omega.
Endless.
I saw life incandescent,
A world beyond my own.

In your love,

I gained
and lost everything.
mrmonst3r Nov 2015
You were my
everything.
You were my
Moon & Stars.
But now the
night is gone,
Leaving only
Scars.
I'm nothing to you now.
mrmonst3r Mar 2015
I've been a phantom all this time.
In every corridor
In every second
I faded a little more
In every scene
In every crowd
I'm lesser than before
All that lived has now expired
Each haunted word is old and tired
You once saw me
You once noticed
Now you just walk out the door
This dimness
Took my body
Took my heart
Took what mattered
Leaving just a ghostly shell
Hopeless, lost and scattered
The blame
Lies slyly at my feet
I was hollow from the start
In feeling nothing for myself
I took myself apart.
mrmonst3r Nov 2016
I fear not death —
Not mine.
It is a welcome
Circumstance
I can meet with
an unfamiliar smile.
As long as there is nothingness
To greet me on the other side.
But yours
I could not bear.

Let me go first.
mrmonst3r Nov 2014
After her,
I found there was nothing left.
Those songs —
Now skewed in absence,
Stubbed out on my skin.
She is a faded dream,
Unpicked and sullied.
Nostalgia
Sharpening the blade,
Dragging bodies.
Beauty in a red dress
Flawless in her glory.
mrmonst3r Dec 2016
I was just five
You, in the Stars
Unlocking secret plans.
My young heart
Racing with wonder,
In a world —
Beyond my
understanding.
Imprinted on my mind,
Sweet Princess.
I will never forget.
RIP Carrie Fisher.
mrmonst3r Nov 2016
It's okay you
didn't hurt me I've
been dead inside
so long my chest is
just a cavity My
feelings deadened
My love retired.
If you really wanted to mess me up, you should have got to me earlier.
mrmonst3r Feb 2015
Why talk
When they don't listen?
Why be
When you don't feel?
Why yield
Unto submission?
Why earn
When you can steal?
Why fight
Against the darkness?
Why love
When love will die?
The past is dust and vanity.
The future is a lie.
mrmonst3r Jul 2015
My love became a full stop
In the twisting of my days
An isolating anchor
That dragged me to the deep
This pain became a reason
I put my heart to sleep
Burn the spoken words
We shared
No one heard them anyway
Company is agony
That's why I walk away.
mrmonst3r Feb 2015
I don't know how to continue —
Without knowing you.
Your goodbye
Left me a stranger
                  to this world.
The days
Are weeks.
The weeks
Are years.
The nights
Grow darker.
Each winter,
Colder.
You took my love,
My heart.
My lungs.
Hymns to the darkness.
Blood for the sun.
I wait.
I wait.
You don't explain.
Endlessly,
The daggers rain.
mrmonst3r Nov 2015
I'm trying to
remember
You.
You're trying to forget.
I'm fighting for
Your memory.
You're
purging mine.
Even if I win,
I lose.
mrmonst3r Nov 2016
I miss the rush
ov blood
    each orgiastic slip
Leading to
Hot Skin
Pressed. Burning against me.
enwrapped.
I want it so
This suffocation
Will drag you under
With delight
A filthy ache
Blissful
Annihilation
Between her thighs
With sweetness
Claw and tooth
wild desire
Her eyes on mine
(piercing my heart).
Urging me
With stinging
tongue
      and gasoline.     upon the flames.
mrmonst3r Dec 2016
Cold tiles under feet;
Midnight.
Say goodbye and make
Your plans.
The future has nothing left
to warm you.
It's okay to cry
Just don't expect a miracle.
The love you crave is in the grave.
Be happy for the joy you felt,
The skin that pressed against yours.
The ecstacy you gave
Selfishly.
Slipping through your fingers.
It is no more.
mrmonst3r Nov 2016
I couldn't find
a mark that's true
falling       so far away from you.
words are
ashes in my mouth
though will not let me choke
each glassy eye
that roves on me
Can only see a joke.
I'm gone, so gone
yet permanent. A creature
in a snare.
Engage my tongue, my heart, my skin
Yet you won't find me there.
Give up these earthly
monuments
give up the love that
waned.
each trace of me
A poison.
A human,
Tho abstained.
mrmonst3r Mar 2015
I tried to forget,
To remove the love stuck in
my heart.
A stray bolt, embedded
In soft flesh.
I tried to know the love I felt...
I feel.
To understand its core.
The intensity.
The resilience.
Now alien,
Unwanted.
Flagrant and indecent.
A love that taunts.
A love that won't be forsaken
                     won't be buried —
A love that doesn't understand
You're gone.
Run
mrmonst3r Nov 2014
Run
He wanted to get up and run to her,
Now.
Emotional gravity.
There was no thought, only feeling.
No bags to be packed,
No flights to arrange,
Just an instinct to flee.
Regardless of location,
Without her — he was a stranger.
Run.
Don't look back,
She'll be waiting.
mrmonst3r Dec 2016
From my first scream
The light was dying.
Boy to man
A slow decay,
Bled into me
Boiling away the days
To the bone.
My love was a
Haemorrhage
After you.
Yet I remain
A spectre in my room.
With tears and dissatisfaction,
Forgotten
Like warmth and laughter,
Squandered
Like the years
That never cease.
mrmonst3r Nov 2015
On the surface
In plain sight
Our imperfections
show.
In reality
Our true defects
Are buried
deep below.
Damage isn't always superficial.
mrmonst3r Nov 2015
I relate
to this black screen.
So defiant
In its emptiness.
Perfect in
Secret dimension,
Obelisk
Death.
My words are dead.
mrmonst3r Sep 2015
When
I'm at my emptiest,
I long to lose
Myself in physical
Ecstasy.
Desperate
yearning
extinguished
Through
flesh on flesh.
******* passion
Throats ripped,
Blood pours.
Devouring
your entirety
On a wave of
Nothingness.
I ache
to feel
Something.
mrmonst3r Jul 2015
There was a world that fell away
A year and six months to the day
When life became the underworld
Each day a purgatory unfurled
As friends revealed their apathy
And love became the enemy
I spat and cursed and wept and bled
Thinking of the words unsaid,
The strength that used to overflow
Now lost to weakness, fear and woe
Alive but closer to the dead
Strangled by the darkest thread
Nothing left to leave a mark
Fading softly in the dark.
She
mrmonst3r Nov 2014
She
She,
my silent lover.
A dagger,
in her black dress.
Secret
as the night air.
Now endless.
Counting,
joy and pain.
A beauty —
Silent,
in her black dress.
Her heart,
a forest.
Inescapable.
For Katerina.
mrmonst3r Nov 2016
and in that moment
Your true nature
was revealed.
The looks that didn't matter
Now obvious,
Unforgiving.

Let me show you —
Just how ugly I can be.
mrmonst3r Nov 2016
Pull the shutter on my eyes
I don't care to see
The light anymore.
It is a lie
A hateful fallacy
for the eager
to heartily swallow.
Not fit for the sunken —
Godless in their
Corridors of sleep.
Extinguish this flame,
Let my heart rest.
In the wretched kindness
Of goodbye.
mrmonst3r May 2017
it goes
nowhere

this anger with no .
Compass.
So it sinks
into my gut.
Never digested,
Just a festering pain
Stored with
all the rest.
Cut into tributaries
Crimson with purpose.
The streams
they burn and flow.
mrmonst3r Jan 2015
In your wake.
                I'm dead and gone.
                You left
My love in ruins.
Choices born in silence,
Old schemes replaced
With new ones.
I'd ask if you were happy now.
But you'd never reply.
Even if you answered me —
I'd only hear a lie.
I thought I loved a lioness,
Brave and true in word.
You turned an honest love to ash,
My fate was undeserved.
Now within my hollow chest,
Lies coiled a rattlesnake.
Only fit to hurt and spit,
A poisonous mistake.
The victim to your cruel heart,
                   I wish for some reprieve.
                   I dream beyond this ugly place —
Though I can never leave.
mrmonst3r Sep 2015
This life is burning,
Slowly guttering
Against this lonely air.
Despite my distant association,
Losing it all
over. over. over.
Breaks what's left
The dancing light, dying
A promised life,
Carelessly
Endured.
Without her
Without heart.
I wish for an end
That will not come,
Unforced.
mrmonst3r Mar 2015
Sometimes I think about you
And I can't stop crying.

This inhuman mask of stability
Is all for ******* show.
The tears
The pain
The anger,
Stored quietly below.
I wonder if you even think of me
If my name's a thorn.
Tho contemplation is a waste
When all the love is gone.
It broke me when I lost you
There's nothing left but doubt.
My heart burned bright with passion
Until you put it out.
mrmonst3r Dec 2014
Early morning.
I hear a fox
Out in the cold, damp light.
Screeching.
Is his song,
Only for me?
A communiqué
Between worlds.
Beyond words.
A cry for help.
A reminder,
That chaos reigns.
mrmonst3r Nov 2014
The edge, static.
Dangling our feet —
Toward oblivion.
You smiled at me.
Hand
in
Hand.
We were happy,
For the last time.
A dream last night.
mrmonst3r Dec 2016
I can't explain
My foolish intrigue
Your words are
Kisses stitched into skin.
You leave me
Branded,
Waiting to be known.
****** but not forgotten.
I lose each waking dream
Only to begin anew —
Loveless. Irrational.
Would you want
a hapless man
Who
wandered from the path?
Can you
understand the pain
that forces me to laugh?
I want to belong
In your smokey realms
Conjured at your fingertips
Reckless inbetween
your thighs.
mrmonst3r Oct 2016
Love.     you are a stranger
Knocking
on my door.
Gnashing teeth
"Let me in."
You were a
Golden savage,
Glistening with
sweat and promises,
Hot and sticky
A siren on the rocks.
"Let me in."
No,
That fire is
Extinguished
I don't know you
Anymore.
mrmonst3r Dec 2016
In the midst of happiness and care
I am drowning. And I can't tell you.
Love me where I'm least expected.
In the stillness of night I bleed.
mrmonst3r Nov 2014
I lost my job.
I lost control.
I lost my friends.
I lost my soul.
I lost my appetite,
My thirst.
I lost my blessings,
Found a curse.
I lost my dignity,
My pride.
I lost my heart.
I lost my mind.
I lost my vices,
Virtue too.
Nothing hurt —
Until I lost you.
mrmonst3r Mar 2017
I remember sunlight
On my skin,
I remember feeling I was alive.
I remember your
Warm engulfing touch.
I remember feeling less alone.
I knew these
Moments would be gone.
I knew that I'd be
Swallowed whole.
It was always
A dream, within a dream.
A precognitive unreality.
The good times —
Just a sham. Giving way
To my true damnation.
It's all just a joke.
A sweetly whispered torment,
A loveless Siren song.
mrmonst3r Jan 2017
Your flowery words
Mean nothing
in this circus of mutual
Worship.
A weak trade of ego
That leaves this storm of words
Redundant.
Speak with pain
Speak with passion.
Do not let these ebbing forms
Break under your
Pathetic will.
Give it all or nothing.
mrmonst3r Dec 2014
Before you
I was never weak.
Before you
I was never alone.
Before you
I was never loveless.
Before you
I was never loved.
Before you
I had no purpose.
Before you
I had no need.
Before you
I had so little.
Before you
I never knew.
Without you.
Without —
You.
...
I just have no ******* idea how to carry on.
fuckfuckfuck ****
Next page