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Sep 2018 · 220
hands
Mercedes Sep 2018
we bonded on things
on our body that
weren't supposed to
be there.

imagine conversing
over what's supposed
to be.
Mercedes Sep 2018
i made a pact
with the night.

if it doesn’t say
anything, then
neither will i.
Sep 2018 · 507
river eyes
Mercedes Sep 2018
son comes home from a long day, father notices his son’s eyes begin to water, attempting to hold it all in. father sits son down and reminds him that men weren’t created to be inhumane, without emotion. he reminds son that men don’t always need to split red seas to walk through on dry land; they are just as entitled to allow themselves to flood for forty days and nights if it means that they have the strength to start again,
bigger and better this time.

father reminds son that most things are worth dying for, but sometimes, when you’ve done all you can, you must stand, take up your bed and walk away. some people will expect you to break yourself into pieces and feed all 5,000 of their insecurities. some people will expect you to come out of your peaceful place and calm down their storms before tending to your own. some people will nail you to a cross of their expectation, stab your side then ask you why you’re bleeding. there are many that will pay to see you die, whilst smiling in your face with happy eyes and impure hearts. many will call you one thing, not knowing that that is not your name, and you are so much more.
so much more.

son puts masculinity on a fast. Jericho breaks down. Jordan rushes in. there are enough tears to water Eden.

father embraces.
Sep 2018 · 204
doubt
Mercedes Sep 2018
why is it that
when you
know that you
know,
doubt comes.
Sep 2018 · 837
revision
Mercedes Sep 2018
study the palms.
it is important to
know the branches that
the stems of their
heritage root from.

kiss the cheek.
begin to send them
like postcards.
they will look back
and read the messages
hidden in the inside
jokes and in-between
the lines.

analyse the eyes.
you can always tell
if they’re to be trusted
with keeping secrets,
memories
or promises.

tend to their wounds.
for outside there are
salted oceans
that will submerge them,
and they will sting,
and sometimes they will
say things they
didn’t mean.

dance with them.
for there is nothing
more securing than
knowing that,
despite the separate
paces of life,
there is a time signature
that will keep you
marching to the same beat.
Sep 2018 · 218
the car ride home
Mercedes Sep 2018
the evening had a
filter of sepia.
brown houses and
golden streets, the glow
of a soft orange
streetlight bounced
off the bonnet of
our white car. then,
the road became more
private and
i came back
home the same
way i had left it.
Sep 2018 · 2.5k
the cries of our sons
Mercedes Sep 2018
how about we
focus on
the blood
that’s painting
our streets red
and not on
the blood that
i can’t help
but shed

there is a
difference.
one of them
is unnatural.
Sep 2018 · 3.1k
hue
Mercedes Sep 2018
hue
we are the people
of contrast.
storm in the cloud.
glory in the blood.
joy despite fury.
peace in the flowerbeds.
Sep 2018 · 167
the night routine
Mercedes Sep 2018
the day comes to an end.
night says it’s about ten minutes away. in the meantime, sunset switches the kettle on, slips its feet into fluffy slippers and turns the lights low. night says its outside. moon wishes sun sweet dreams, requests prayers of strength, anoints its head with oil before locking the door behind it. earth takes centre stage for the second act, lit by the eyes of stars. and with undeniable stage presence, it performs the monologue for night. the droplets that form streams and oceans stand still. winds hold their breath, the leaves faint, the clouds silently weep in awe.
Sep 2018 · 658
ele(men)ts
Mercedes Sep 2018
one had the eyes of seas,
pupils of pain.
mouth poured out floods of
restrained stories
that caused their cup to overflow.
raindrops for fingertips,
not sure whether i was left
breath-taken, or as a fish
out of water.

another, with windswept hair,
windswept attitude,
dismissive, difficult, distant.
never seen, always felt,
didn’t want to be held,
or understood.

the next had matches for lashes,
a flame for a tongue,
opinionated, set alight
anything that didn’t sit right,
passionate for all the
wrong reasons.

but he, he was true to roots,
bloomed where planted
joints connected by the soil.
connected with many,
lost in none, none quite like him;
everywhere you walk,
he always finds you first.
Sep 2018 · 1.7k
trip | velcro, maybe
Mercedes Sep 2018
yesterday,
i tripped over you again.
today, i made sure to
tie double knots.

yet, here i am again.
on the ground.

the sky seems
further away, (it is),
i’ve killed an army
of bugs with the weight
of my being;
the clouds tower over me,
the wind jumps
over my head.

i find myself tripping often.

only, these days
it’s you that seems further away,
i **** a lot
of time with the weight
of this feeling;
your absence towers over me,
my love jumps
over your head.
Sep 2018 · 854
3 wasted black dresses
Mercedes Sep 2018
it wasn’t until the sun had set,
and the moon took over its shift,
and the morning came
that i remembered that:

yesterday kept many secrets
from me,
tomorrow makes promises
it can’t keep,
(yet still, i always find myself
giving it chances),
and today probably won’t
be any more trustworthy.
Sep 2018 · 2.5k
balloon buildings
Mercedes Sep 2018
we were like
water filled balloons,
dropping
from high buildings
in the nights
december.

it was safe to say
january leave
a good impression
but luckily for us,
we haven’t seen it since.

december, please
give me your shoulder.

thirty-one/twelve came,
and we were waiting
for the ball to drop,  and
we were waiting for
the ***** to drop,  and
for boys to become men
and for someone to grab our hands
and for wrongs
to become rights  and
for the windows to be
opened,
for the fresh air to find us
amidst the suffocating smoke
and mistakes
that clogged up our lungs
so we couldn’t laugh how we used to.
three,

two,

one:
deafening screams,
fifty-eight people with
two hands
on two cheeks
with two eyes closed
and two lips
on two others,
and where were we?
the fifty-nine and sixty
were on the roof of the
apartment building,
staring at the stars,
wondering which one
was going
to die next.

you and I,
we were like bin bags
overflowing with waste
in the kitchen
with broken glass.


our material was stretching
so it was thin and grew
clearer with the more
waste it took
and just like that,
one/twelve was here.

so I put my two hands
on your two shoulders
with my two eyes  
wide open
and shook you
until your eyes rolled back
and your hair was a mess
and your ears were burning;

and we were waiting for
things to make sense, and
we were still waiting  
for the ***** to drop and  
for men to grow up, and
for someone to grab our hands,
for those wrongs
to feel right
for the door to be closed
and for the fireplace to burn
our troubles away
so we could laugh like we used to.

by twenty-three/four,
we had made
our mistakes into those  
falling  
stars instead of  
ourselves,
and our
memories part of the  
full moonlight,
and on the  
thirty-first of each month,  
we’d remember  
the times where  

we were like  
water filled balloons,
bin bags, overflowing
with waste
and emotional baggage,
dropping,
from high buildings
in the nights of december.

— The End —