maybe the ground is tilting
i descend
earth dipped in blood
kid eating a candy apple
space all stretched
fuzzed out
light beams round tree limbs
hanging lanterns
i try to speak
density
a million billion stars crushed into a black-
you pick up the jacket and throw it
the cat says bow-wow
bow-wow
bow-
my head a ******* balloon
string tangled like negative space
the moon’s surface
i hate this world

Black mouths
Running down the walls
They gather here
But no one cares to see them

A dead worm sinks through the crust
And blood wells in

Where? Where? Where?
Shrinking to the bone
Where? Where? Where?
Kafka on the shore

Can you taste the disappointment
When you linger on my lips
Cold scents long languished
Sparking dead neuronic wisps

A frantic reformation
For an addict to the bliss
In the dust realms of a blanket life
Where fiction can exist

I’m the broken bones you found alone
And kissed into a whole
I know
That everybody dreams of the soul they had, the soul they let go

But I’ll find a way, hold high this ache
Breathe life into every mistake
And grow
Into the man you never had, but mourn to this day

I’m grateful
For everything

seams
light and concrete
night imperceptibly folds
and all the futures that never came
set a throwaway polaroid
from the other’s light

distance is definition
and closeness a fleeting blur

I watched you go
I watched you go
I watched you go
I watched you go
I watched you grow
I watched you grow
Without eyes
I watched you grow

And I’ve been trailing
Ghostly figures wrapped in pain I’ll never know
Just to see if they’ll notice

Take off your bed
Tied to all that sleep
Descending motions
Air warmed with defeat

Set the sails
Out from under me
Those anchors on your eyes
Will disappear if you leave

no one laughs the dead houses
line the streets i
never had anything
before the ritz and lsd
funnelled into shopping malls
hypnagogic life
taught whither wither
a dying world.

Restless, you lie
Draped in autumn gold
You brush the dirt from your wings
And the leaves from your soul

You trail the night
Fire-flight through your skin
Brightest at the horizon
Distant and brief

Cold fire, wild love
Your passion spills over
Spills out
Cold desire, wild love
Your passion is dire
Count me out

Willow came apart
Morning rose without a sun
Flushed pink

The corners of her lips
Yearned with decade old creases
And we all scraped bark from our mouths

It’s open window
It’s closed
Running circles into old sheets
Once was something worth knowing
I’m dreaming old pains
Aged misery with replays
Of people I once knew
Losing nights, losing sleep
It’s all too real for my head
Painted memories on a canvas
Agony plays pretend
And I’m thinking too much
Wandering mind loses touch
With everyone
Claiming once was, once loved
I’m chasing echoes
Tailing happiness
When will I catch up?
I’m too scared to start this flame
I’m remembering
All the times I burned, hands hurt, stomach stirs
I’d rather chase shades
Than face a hope so easily snuffed
It’s almost enough
Almost
Those bedside talks ain’t coming back
The rattle of bone chilled teeth
Those winter nights
Breath and fog, we were
Dawn’s kissing sun
You breathed a life into me
Blossomed colours, set a fire with every retreat
I don’t think
My heart can take it

She held him within her. A coiled mosaic, whirling on the precipice. His frame shook tumultuous, his skin the colour of autumn grey. The wetness from his eyes spilled against her soft fur. He pressed his lids tighter, as if to keep his tears from the world. Warmth pooled beneath their paws, a thick ichor that smelled of iron and salt.
The dusk receded, and he breathed his last.
Night left the world a husk. A slumber, cessation. In the still, she felt a chill gather within her, cruel and implacable. The forest stirred, with a restlessness only the dead knew. The barrows shrivelled to their skeleton frames. Death lurked in the furs of the pitch beast, in the mottle snares of the witherfang.
She ****** them all.
Her howl tore through the air, bright and gleaming. It thundered beneath the earth, reverberating through the bones of the long deceased. How had she once felt pride in that sound? A bitter rage roiled in her blood. It twisted the vessels of her body, and set her muscles to stone. She moved and shattered into a thousand shards, each one sharper than the last.
She grieved for two days. The soft contours she’d held his dying body against grew lean and taut. The hollows of her ribs had closed themselves around a seething stone, that filled her flesh bitter. She rose a new beast on the third day. Smarter, but crueller; wiser, but filled with rage; and with only one thought on her mind.
She would find the deceiver, and devour all he loved.

oh no
cut me
here and
here and
here
i’m
less than
what?
spokes in the rain
a spillover on highway
nowhere
i lapped your scent
til my heart
burst
mangled and
helpless

the ceaseless being of your mouth grapples awful its gray arrest and morning stupor where no one is awake the faint corners of your room block colour monogram the rain has stopped folded into yesterday like all things coming into light wet figments cling and ghosts drop between particles of dirt the earth in tremors sometimes jets of ink raise limp drowned cloth you'd rather forget the light has shifted garrulous open open i am propped blank and disused in the litter wind fragments of sundry love cast me acid e and bright hell washed like golden rays on a body returned to conception dysphoric machine theatre assemblage all tragedy makes me laugh split the earth *** on the ground do you love yourself so much you wear a mask of your own face drawn thinner and thinner until no distance remains i am saturnine liminal endless for all deaths are a movement

caved
the open space
caved
caved
caved/.

the nightmare is adjusting
do you remember three times three times three
it was golden lights beneath a midnight harbor
and sweat and rain and
trauma undoing all you loved

i was empress
and you were time

askew undoing the worthless match
over and over and over and over

i wanted you to feel exactly how you already feel under corona to feel exactly how you feel i wanted corona under you miserable exactly to feel to feel outside yourself and you without yourself

you wanted lines of passengers vivisecting boxes and makeshift interiors

i wanted exactitude nectar falling from the split of the earth above and the buzzing of wilderness and the shrill call of warblers beneath the parking lot as attendants squirt hand sanitiser into open palms

the other day night fell and i never made it back the next day everything was as it was again i woke a blinding white expanse ceaseless static clinging to my arms like cobweb falls

i wanted a holy verification in the cantaloupe and the cattail

did you know? it grows on the edges of highways and undisturbed plateaus. it brokers nothing. you find it between being and becoming. the panic of not.