If I'm dead tomorrow
I want my body to be laid peacefully
on soft green grass.
I want vines to run through my veins.
I want flowers to grow out of my heart
and bloom across my lungs.
I want to create a garden with the aroma
that reminds you of the earth kissed by rain.
With every breath I take,
I want to create a new life.
I want to paint a new picture.
I want to design a new symphony.
Through them, I want to see
the moving clouds, passing birds,
and butterflies.
And slow dance with the wind,
gaze at countless stars
and breathe, once again.
Till you decide to walk all over me,
grind me, and smother me
back to the dirt where
I shall lay awake waiting to feel alive,
once again.

I miss waking up to the smell of your delicious pancakes.
Sweetly covered in maple syrup.
And the sweetest smile you served with it.

Now all I can wake up to
is to the smell of burnt breakfast.
Sugarcoated with cooked up lies.
That I keep feeding myself to stay alive.

Like an iceberg you hit me.
Sinking me down to the darkest abyss.
Revealing just your icy tip.
Leaving me wondering what lies beneath.

Darling it’s a cruel cruel world out there,
one that thrives on danger and despair.
And you’re neither a victim nor a prey,
but the one that bears the mark of a survivor.

Nights like these
when the moon floats
on the creek, all pale
and swollen, I try
to sleep without dreaming
of a small child, still
and not breathing, like
a leaf felled too soon
during the season
of the monsoon rains,
heavy as the pain of a father
looking here and there,
everywhere for a daughter
somewhere in all of this water.

Unluckily, not every frog you kiss turns into a Prince Charming.

Everything I felt,
And everything you made me feel
was a perfect illusion.