once when i was a child
i sat in a field
surrounded by woods

and watched sparks leap from the fire to my clothes

i remember them dancing
and stinging skin hot
tiny freckle burns
dotting my arms

like stars

i remember the smoke
rising into the sky
and curling like a cat
caressing the darkness

as it twisted upwards and away away

the wood broke and the
scent of elderflower
filled me to the brim
with heady wild-smoke

and i remember thinking
big eyes filled with fire
my mouth just open and breathing the heat in

i want to run through that fire

to the other side within
.

a boy with seven hearts

they gave him seven hearts
the first for dreaming
the second for running
the third for crawling
the fourth for laughing
the fifth for crying
the sixth for loving
the seventh for fighting

in each heart waged a war
the sound of blowing horns not very far
in each heart grew a tree
taller than the depth of the sea

in one boy sang seven hearts
they sang a song that lasted til night
a song that took away all the fright
the fear that spun around like a kite

in two hands he grasped one heart and asked
“what do you do?”
it said “i fight for one important thing
and, boy, that thing is you.”

in one palm he held a small heart and whispered
“what can you do?”
the heart replied, “i may be small but my dreams are big
and that’s what makes me you.”

each heart was crafted differently
each one had a unique design
but together they were stronger
and together they could shine

it's 23:53 and if i were to swear that this would be the last poem i write about you

i'd be lying

pain is a far more sustainable fuel than happiness;
it keeps the poet's engine whirring

and darling

all you've ever done is hurt me

00:01
i spent six minutes contemplating how much damage you caused,
the way you ran me off the road, swerving down dark paths i'd never known existed before

i didn't receive compensation for the emotional whiplash you left me with

the words "i love you" make my nerves twinge

one minute i feel like i'm fine
the next, i couldn't care less if i live or die
i wonder if this is what it's like
to exist without living

my eyes are tired and
your arms are closed
i look up at the ceiling and i'm alone
it's too cold in this home

my eyes won't close 'cause i can't sleep
your arms won't open 'cause you don't care about me

i stopped looking both ways before i cross the street
you started looking at the colours in the sky
those things i used to love became the sparkles in your eyes
my reasons for living faded like sunset into night

i want to die

you made me feel so loved
        i adored you
        i don't know how to feel
                   why am i apologizing
                   for you hurting me
why do i feel guilty
for something i didn't do?
                           why am i coming back to you
                           even after you caused me so much pain?
             why am i talking to you
             after you stole my voice?
                                          why do i see you as beautiful,
                                          when you made me feel hideous?
                why am i crawling back,
                after you tore me apart?
                          
                               ­                           why do i keep coming back?

Twelve, getting older;
Boy, oh boy
You know,
It is time
Too old for silly games…
(Too young to work)
Sit in limbo--
Ponder your fate,
The life that which you live
Still eleven,
Scared of what you see;
It’s not fair
It’s never been fair
Ten now
You know your father has no chance
Whatever faith you had,
It’s gone with his career
All you have is your games,
Your sister,
And what little hope you have left
All you can do is pray;
Pray and hope it will be okay