Go ahead and tell me
Don’t save me for tomorrow
If you love him today
Then let me live with the sorrow

Go ahead and tell me
Take the weight off my heart
My quiet tears have rained down on it
It’s time for the water to depart

Don’t save me baby
But I need to cry one more time
Don’t save me for your rainy day
Just tell me so I can finish mine

It’s been too long
Too long hanging on
You’ve been too quiet
It feels like moving on
You once loved me
Then you said it was wrong
It’s been too long baby
Tell me how to finish this song

Don’t save me baby
But I need to cry one more time
Don’t save me for your rainy day
Just tell me so I can finish mine

I know you're in our place
Maybe thinking of my name
And what it means now
Let me tell you it's no game

We can laugh in bed
Talk serious at the ranch
Let our hearts bleed like freedom
Carve our names on a branch

I know what I want
It's you on the inside
What you think
How it feels
I'm coming home
With arms open wide

I know how to love you now
You showed me as you loved me
A woman teaches a man how
Now your eyes at night are all I see

I know what I want
I know what I want
Love from the inside
Love from the inside

Your beautiful face is just the start
Just the start

Let’s look at it together she said
But don’t look because you are lonely
That's what he was thinking

Now she realized she doesn’t want integration
Just a partner
That’s different than a relationship of the soul
It meant she was a person
Not a woman trying too hard to convince him to love her

She thought back on her life
She once was fully immersed
Her mind was inside the mind of being a couple
That was where love came to live
But he walked in and out of love
Or so she thought
But he was there all along

She wanted to talk about tonight
He was still thinking about this morning
She just had to know
What do you want to do?
He couldn’t answer the question
There was no need
So she walked away

How did they meet
The times of their mind together
Living in a state of being without
And a state of being what they weren’t
Meeting like this
Without a good reason
Except ***
It went from there

Now she was one
She needed it to feel like that
But he never thought about life
He wouldn’t for at least five more years
And there was nothing she could do to change him

It was a gap
They call it schismogenesis
Or maybe it should be called relationship paralysis
Scientists study it all the time
And talk about it
With other people
And each other
But not her
Or him
She just wanted chemistry
And karma
He was just living
The gap was so far
That’s why she didn’t see him in their mind
It was just so far to the other side

She remembered him
He taught her a few things about expectations
She hated that it took so long
Even worse was that she had to accept it
But everyone has opinions
She wanted hers to be his

It was as if she had to become a man
A young man
She wanted to know that freedom
The blankness
Not needing to be pretty
Just brooding
Or maybe stoic without vanity

She wondered if she would live long enough to change one more time

She had been a young girl
Then a young man
When would she become a wise person
How long would it take

The scientists tried to reach her
But she didn’t know they existed
Or where
Or that they could describe the gap
Or that there was that name for it
It sounded so deep
But so distant
She didn’t want to feel like she had an affliction
But how do you describe the failure of love
Was it like a poem
Or a study

She was the guinea pig
Or  maybe he  was
But they both were

She was embarrassed by all of it
Nobody died
How did it get so deep
The sharing of one mind

Killed by dinner plans

Forced from their homes
Thrown into the hold
Chained and gagged
They did what they were told
They were unloaded
And herded like cattle
Sent to the plantation
And then began the battle
Deemed less than human
Whipped and scorned
Working for others
Their past mourned
Then the explosion
Suddenly free
Unprepared for the moment
Not knowing what they could be
40 acres and a mule
Was their reparation
Go make something of yourself boy
Was the proclamation
But what can you do
When you reach the wall?
You are not allowed to climb
You can only fall
Hung from a tree
For the color of his skin
The war was still on
His life didn’t win
A march across a bridge
To face the wall
To tear it down
With tears and God’s call
A moment of joy
Then cut down by a bullet
The trigger of hate
One man did pull it
The cost of freedom
Paid in generations
Then we tell them to count
All of their blessings
But today they died
More innocent black men
When will we stop
Killing the color of their skin?

We don’t know why they cut the tall trees
Or scare small children
They keep us outside
Where the wind cannot make the sound of peace in the winter time
And the rain can only ask why it is an oasis stuck inside a cloud

There is so much beauty in her worried face
It speaks silently for her heart
But sorrow became too much
She prayed to be forgiven for wanting laughter for one weekend
She will throw open the door again on Monday if she is allowed

The smoke rises over a five minute walk outside the wall
But we are not alone
It is time that makes us afraid
We know our lives will one day be a thing of the past
But one last kiss from a good woman will make us cry out loud

I heard thunder outside
I was thinking lightening in the drain
The sound cleared things up
Like a new set of guitar strings

I always wanted to see a piano shatter
It's better just to learn how to play it
That's how you make light in a hole
The power of creation finds new things

Don't make the insects mad
Oh yeah they're listening to you
Karma has ears everywhere
Crawling from holes wearing ghost wings

Sell the stage to the first punk you see
He won't pay you but that's the point
Let him entertain you before he's evicted
He shows us how to walk the night like Kings

I know that’s as close as you will come
I have to bring you home myself
Like a ship that cannot stop
You still need help
Someone to hold your hand
While you leave the car
Or walk up the stairs
Because you are a lady
And what a lady does
Is wait to unpack her bags
Until someone else does it for her

I won't question cloudy or grey
Not if it's the sky
These colors I understand
Not how or why
But in the feeling they summon
That's the essence
How you absorb its presence
Yet the backdrop
Whatever it is, is so much greater
The time bending canvas
Everything lives inside this cocoon
Every mood
I cannot question its silent power
A freeway of feeling
Black clouds blue serenity grey hues
Not of my hand
Not of perception because it is true
Black and white
I prefer grey if not blue for its flexiblity
But orange with black spots
With legs walking upon my arm
I can't question it
Or flick it; never reject a pattern
That repeats in nature
Like clouds and grey mysteries
That order my thoughts
I will welcome whatever it will be
No matter what
That is what I have become
The feeling of nature

Is there no regret without prior desire that can only be described as a wish to have been someone else? To wonder why is to wonder about why you were born to begin with. The decisions you made were made with a desire that may or may not have been misguided but either way it was a force and without it you could not have decided otherwise. Regret becomes a lament when the measured depth of the tears drowns the honesty that has now become who you are. People become cruel in their rejection of their own past; it becomes a rejection of everyone they encountered; everyone they loved; everything they did. They were unable to see what they know now. They lie in bed and cry because they can feel the moment. They see themselves making the same decision, over and over again. It never changes. They wonder how they could have done that but what they cannot remember is how they felt then. They only know how they feel now.

But what about now? Is today’s desire as misguided as yesterdays? Can you trust what it compels you to do? You made your mistakes. Is it time for another? How can you know? In what way can you be who you are? Your weakness is larger than your life. You can be someone else but only as long as you can hold your breath. Maybe what you want to be is not meant for you. Do you have a destiny that you must accept? Everyone suffers. You are not alone is this regard. There are very few people who can describe what they are thinking; who can draw what they see; who can play what they hear in their mind. Regret is the child of fate. Your fate was determined by the power in your life. Your nature is powerful as is the nature of those you chose to believe. The nature you married to your own has a child: Lament…

I tell you this so that you know one day you may look back and wonder why you didn't do things differently. The key to finding your genius is to find the true genius of enthusiasm. And once you do then you will become powerful in controlling your fate. Your fate is governed by your own nature to the extent that you can control events impacting your life. But until you find the genius of your true enthusiasm then you will be living a life that you may one day regret.

I rub my eyes every first moment I see
A tiny new cut invited every light for a drink
Even the ones that kept me awake all night
A glimmer of a life only a dream can think of

I rubbed the skin raw right above my heart
The cutting knife guided my blood to the levee
The clock ticks louder next to the flood
I’m listening but time cannot drown love

I rubbed the bottom of my feet until I laughed
The cut between my toes stayed too long
My socks mopped up like tea steeped in water
Walking on my own water is better than a drug

I rubbed my ears while a preacher talked
The cutting words asked me a question
Do you think what he can see is real?
Can I have believe in a grave that will be dug?

I rubbed my head right where my hair starts
Can a cut heal in a holy way if I'm not clean enough?
Burning hands full of nail ends try my mind
But I’m going to call on a willing heart laying on a rug

I rubbed a piece of paper full of my mistakes
I cut my hands hoping they would go but it’s just me
I can take it now because here is not there anymore
The past is too blind for me to live below or above

there i was far enough along
help me up it’s just my hand
i’ll keep the life you take the trip
where we go from here
that’s not for me to say

i was lent in your belly button
how i got there surprised you
don’t scrape me away yet
i want to hear your insides purr

how did i warn myself about you
i didn’t except to say it’s time

i’m a question inside you
friend or lover it’s so close
i couldn’t take it last week
now i’m back again but still
living like last week’s love affair

the deepest blue is where we left it
i’ve never seen a sun set so reluctantly
come back come back your eyes said
but you were the one who closed them
while the ocean told me to say goodbye

how did i walk so far with you
i didn’t but if felt that way

Bark stripped from a tree
I tried to smooth them
Make them whole again
So you could only see the rings
But all you wanted were promises
What is in your head?
All this love stuff is too much
It’s too much
It cuts us into little pieces
Or strips of memories
Laid upon the floor
Knowing each other
But living apart
We don’t want to admit it
We are the story
Out of the light
That’s what you said
Turn it off
It’s better that I don’t see all of that
That’s what you said
Just make your mistakes with me
Make another layer out of what’s left
It probably will feel good
You know how to fake it
You know how to make yourself
But you need pieces of me to do it right

She was always afraid to be alone
And it was for this reason
That men were drawn to her door
You can’t see her fears
You just know they are deeper than your own
And it’s a sad man who uses her
To make himself feel strong

Just below the surface
Are things we cannot know
We sense their presence
But not how deep they go
We spend so much time denying
What it is that we cannot see
Even though we know they are there

There is so much to reveal
And though we know ourselves
Somehow we don’t know it all
We search for our gifts
And yet what we are unable to achieve
Are in the things in which we believe
We are unable to revel beyond a moment
Because of the depths we fail to explore

In our noisy explosions of the failure to control ourselves
We allow the frustrations of a lifetime appear
And then we are judged by those who still remain calm
For their day has not arrived to ask for forgiveness
For being a human
For being afraid
For not being able to hold their breath
Longer than two minutes
Only to turn back
While the depths of who they are remain still

We put too much value on the past
It can stain us or sustain us
But it is gone and we allow it to exist
It becomes a dream that we summon
Either to prove ourselves
Or to make ourselves feel unworthy
For even in pain what is familiar is comfortable
And what man would live on faith when he has a past?

What will you do with the love you lost?
She is still afraid of the dark even though she loves another
Can he protect her from man?
Or from the ghosts in her womb?
For she gives birth to her fears with every sunset
And as she drowns herself in the same cup
Her lover feels lost because though he can make her smile
He cannot make her sleep soundly

It seems I know a stranger
better than I know myself
I once believed the paper
now I to believe something else
what to think about my neighbor
and how the ice melts
Being afraid wasn’t my nature
I can’t find anything now that helps

I’ll decide on Mondays
It’s already a bad day anyway
I’ll see what the news says
And forget it at the end of the day
Then I will begin to pray
And hope God shows me a way
To not worry about hiding food away
in a cave when autumn skies turn gray

I don’t live near a seaside;
where the land becomes the coast
I can’t see the continental divide
or even an old ranch fence post
I wondered where a child might hide
Away from the sticks and ghosts
When I realized fear was a poor guide
I thought about what I loved most

It wasn’t anything new really
I had to stop trying to be something
Making rhymes and acting silly
is what a child’s heart can bring
I once knew a girl who was pretty
and even gave her a diamond ring
But what should I do with a memory
When tomorrow says don’t bring a thing?

Where leaves may gather
The wind will soon rise
For the weight of conformity
Brings haste to freedom's demise

We get along with people we do not care for because we need the money but hurt and hold grudges against those that we love...

They do not pay us for our conscience or our ability to love; only if we provide value.....

A man is never worthy of another man's daughter because he knows we will never love her like he does....

The poor will always strike their stones together instead of making masa when those who rule them approach so that they will know that making bread is not giving up their souls...

A man who looks forward everyday to talking to a woman that he will never touch loves her more than the man who does....

No matter what is said, you can find a reason to disagree; but when men agree it is because they cannot find peace any other way...

You will know an honest man not only when he admits you are right in front of people who have the power to judge him but also when his eyes say so...

Why is a man who is able to arbitrage a momentary advantage in markets admired while a man who can repair your car is forgotten?

It is always assumed that a man who rejects luxury when it is offered for a moment is bitter... it is always assumed that a man who takes luxury when it is offered wishes he was someone else....

You will never understand how a poet can describe in the world without leaving his room....

to enter a dark room without looking for the switch
is to follow the same path
set out before me as my life has been
with no known destination
or making loving to you without knowing your mind
but my own is enough to risk the next step
i can only a hope for what is best
who is it that made it happen once
i can’t pretend with someone who might be you
it’s not the same anyway
though sometimes it feels that way
i wonder if i invented the afterlife
my fears need a reason more than to blame myself
how can i live knowing i’m afraid of life
it’s only a walk down the street
or watching red lights gasp as they are ignored
but the miracle of someone who lived in darkness
is why i won’t ask any questions
except how is it that you can ignore what is killing me inside

The sun rises everyday
It’s so beautiful to see
It’s the point of view
That gets you closer to me

The sun sets everyday
It’s so sad to see it go
Goodbye feels this good
Underneath a sacred glow

I took a hot shower
Then I was ready
For another day
To be the boy
I once knew
Not black and blue
Full of power
Without amenities
And laughter
At high noon

An elder of stained souls
There is no faithless tribe
No commerce for glory
The sun accepts no bribe

Look at it as you walk away
Did you really nod silently
At another person’s hate
Because it gave yours sanity

Take a cold shower
Take the curtain down
You can’t handle it
Passion is not the same
For fools or clowns
Not like a wanted man
Who doesn’t ask permission
The ocean is a ladder
And the rainbow swells
Are all he can see

She wasn’t so good to you
And she became every woman
He can only watch it set for another
Even the sun can break the heart of a man

It is not
to achieve things for their own sake
A continuous line
is the end to the means
To keep alive
what forgotten souls once felt
And not
the promises of kings and queens

To accept
who you are instead of judgment
To be unique
and a friend of uniqueness
A shoulder to spare
and a tear to give away
And strength
to understand human weakness

let it be so
we wish to live a natural life
especially our children
to see us off
for they can bear the loss
once prepared for life
by us who loved them

let it be so
we wish to earn our keep
to toil as honest men
without remorse for deceipt
or shame without wealth
only health and respect
for ourselves and others

let it be so
we wish to drop our sword
and our judgments
to feel healed wounds
and heal others
not by miracles
but instead by kindness

let it be so
we wish to envy no man
to find peace without pain
to save those who would be conquered
as well as our own vanquished souls
to give thanks for our blessings
and to help those who have none

let it make you happy
like a dead head
because you're pretty today
it's your song
somebody said thank you
they were glad to see you
you had a good time
it's ok
clear your mind
you have to do it for yourself
the world wants you to be angry
you can't hide from it
but the feeling is the chance
when it is upon you
take it
paint your face if you have to
look in the mirror
laugh about it
you feel like an out of tune guitar
but still you make music
that's how it works
a moment
you can't paint
but you made a line
and crossed it twice
then smeared it
red and yellow
just like your painted face
look at it
and laugh
let it make you happy
that's what just happened

Don't burn my skin without a reason
You don’t like the fire for yourself
So why is it good enough for me?

I thought about a guitar
It can make you feel like crying
But I can show you the real thing

It’s hard to understand
I thought I saw myself
Instead it was him
I thought I saw you
Instead it was her
It was time for a change
But who made it happen?

You can't make me anyway
I already know the story
You believe in somebody else

It’s not about my glory
I think somebody should have that long cry
It feels good to empty your heart

You may not believe how that could be
But crying like that makes it easy for someone new
I don’t want them to drown in day old sorrow
And they will know that what I tell them is true

I want to wash your hair with the night air
Soft light that does not burn
You can close your eyes again
My fingers are stars massaging the moon

I want to bathe your skin with light of day
Hot light to soften your pain
You can lay your head next to me
My fingers are reflections of a warm tide

I want to cool your pores with the forest air
A soft breeze rippling beads of sweat
You can watch the leaves fall all around
My fingers are trees dropping them on you

I want my heart to feel the love of yours
A whisper that only I can hear
You can let your blood mix with mine
My fingers will draw pictures with our color

walking without my skin
but the bones are still there
cooling themselves but a bit much today
children so engrossed in not knowing our problems
old women, together on a bench, obsessing
the wind passing through me, cleaning the sidewalk
I thought of being like a Frenchman
or at least maybe the charm, or so women say
I can’t speak the language; but so what?
I wondered about understanding what’s good
not swept up in things, but knowing myself
there’s a style about living
we each have our own
we don’t even know it, but everybody else does
they watch, as we walk, noticing our eyes
what they notice
if they are hard
or soft
can we or should we remain as we are
or do we just accessorize
taking on someone else’s ideas for ourselves
transforming us because we are looking
for something
downstairs at the front of the book store
or upstairs alone in a chair, sinking into the past
stretching and sighing
where is my wine glass?
oh, only single serving bottles
plastic
ok, it doesn’t mean I’m not a Frenchman
not the plastic
not the age of the wine
not the fact that I’m not one
but is my charm apparent to anyone
this Westie I noticed knows
he knows that I like Westies
he knows
he saw my soft eyes
how can you know me so well little Westie?
it’s because he looked and I looked back
I was able to smile as long as I wanted
instead of glancing
pretending I’d hardly noticed
even though I had
for a long time
I stared at my coffee
the wine was just talk
I was only wishing
it’s breakfast and I’m already thinking about wine
but your dress
and your eyes
yes, they are soft
but maybe you’re just sleepy
so I’ll blow out the imaginary candle
next to the imaginary wine
burn my lips on my coffee cup, freshly poured
and go
maybe I’ll see someone crazy enough to make me laugh
that’s why I live in this town
to hear someone singing
as we all stare
wondering about him
and why we are dreamers
who imagine moments instead of living them

To describe what a picture only knows
in fields where our hearts once did gather
while daffodils shed its children all around
is to see what you feel while the wind blows

Beyond a blessing is a promise to keep
we are only so eager when we are afraid
artful hopeful prayers ask graces pardon
for the hurtful things that we always speak

In the chance that the silent moon gave us
was a common hurt that we once shared
we walked together feeling knowing crying
over things our scars no longer care to discuss

You said you wanted to be pretty again
as if I was somehow worthy of your life
yet if you had not become the light I see
then our past would have lived in vain

When we give up our finer things for grief
we realize being alone is not a just game
losing only means a ration of hardened hearts
that the lonely substitute quietly for belief

In the stolid minds of those who cannot
are the memories of someone who could
and in them lives a friend who knew you well
ready to show you all the things that you forgot

There's no escape
Except inside your dreams
You imagine me there
Invite me over sometime

See you smile
How you see me
Yes that's what I need
A belief to try

Let me try
Let me try
I do want to know
How it is you love me

Go ahead ask
I tell you I was thinking
About waterfalls
And loving you there

You are beautiful
Yes let me try
To make you feel that way
The way you you feel to me

Let me try
Let me try
Running away in dreams
That you made for me

To the living
It is the end times
To the dead
The times have ended
Alive or dead
Meaning
Has its purpose
The only way to God
Is to believe
In the primacy
Of your own heart
Before the dust settles
The belief
In your nobility
Cloaks your delusion
As you assume
Your impending doom
Will either be pardoned
Or crowned
But the end
Cannot be determined
Only lived
If you were hurt
It is not what I wanted
If I kept you from love
It was not meant to be
As you search
For meaning
Look not to me
But through me
As my back
Is all you will see
To prepare you
For more meaningful disappointment
Cry not
For my heart
Was never open
It was sent to you
To warn you
To prepare for the end
Of who you were
And the beginning
Of who you will be
Look not to me
For answers
Look to me
For hope
For I am flesh
And I have taught you
To be spirit
Whole
Alive
Free

let's start with how it ends so we can decide if we should color our hair or show up to work tomorrow or maybe decide what forgiveness really means

let's forget about the middle because it's not the part we will remember;  the weather is more interesting than love trying to be a couple

let's be the beginning, a fable of mystical animals, hopeful, fearful, open-minded,  revolutionary to our souls, exhilarating lovers wanting desperately for tomorrow night when our morals will be devoured by our lust

let's sleep apart where we can meet for the first time in a dream without form or shape; only emotions painting landscapes upon the loneliness we refused to confront for fear that the morning sun would remind us that shifting sands is time being stolen by oceans of selfish remorse

She was smiling but her head was tilted back
I asked her where she was going?
She said I’m happy but I don’t know what to believe
I told her don’t believe anything
Just believe in yourself

I could love with no strings attached
All she could see was love that was afraid to show
I said we’ll never meet in the middle if you think like that
She said I’m already there, it’s you who won’t let go

Your problem is you like to burn bridges
You’ve crossed so many now they light up the night
I try to keep all my mistakes to myself
Just in case somebody walks the same road I might

I used to pride myself on being to handle my liquor
That was so long ago maybe it means I grew up
I ordered us some red wine
When did I become so cool going out on the town
I just wish my heart could feel the same

I couldn’t love with no strings attached
But I didn’t let my weakness show
She said I was too strong for somebody like that
I said I’m ready for you if only you would let yourself go

When he died
Did he know
His fate
Was in another man’s hand?
The innocents
Care not
Of the justification
For the burning of their land
His death
Was necessary
He was expendable
God’s purpose was ordained by man
The reign of terror
The horror of the ego
Rights trampled by the law
In the distance as they stand
The tools of judgment
In the arms of those so trained
To not question their mission
Quietly they follow the command
Relieved of morals
But armed with ruthless love
For their place
In a strangers plan
The keepers of aggression
And self-defense
Scream in terror
In the only way they can
Tragedy
And fear
Eternal hell
The luckless remand
The decision
To ****
The depression begins
For the sacrificial lamb
Life repeals no sentence
Each generation dies as it lives
Our soldiers face the music
Played by a faceless band



COPYRIGHT 2011. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. MARK LECUONA

When all seems lost
And you can’t be forgiven
When your feelings are hurt
And you don’t feel like livin’

Let me be your life support
Let me be your life support

When you’re lost at sea
And you can’t see the horizon
When your boat is sinking
And the water keeps risin’

Let me be your life line
Let me be your life line

Honey let me be your life support
Let me be your life line
I know I’m not a doctor
But I’ll be there in time
Whenever you need me
You know where I am
Honey let me be your life support
Honey let me be your man

Sometimes we can’t help ourselves
Sometimes there’s nothing we can do
We all go through hell sometimes
We just need someone to get us through

Honey let me be your life support
Let me be your life line
I know I’m not a doctor
But I’ll be there in time
Whenever you need me
You know where I am
Honey let me be your life support
Honey let me be your man

My eyes are the same
So is my smile
They are mine
And they know me well
If you wish
You will find me in there
Far beyond the gates of imagery
Where no streak can penetrate my face
For tears cannot blemish a stone
Nor plow a field where there is no soil

I’m not a revolutionary
I’m too comfortable for all of that
I’ve never witnessed the horror that creates outrage
I’ve never felt the outrage that creates courage
I only can think of myself
And my plans
How can I give my life for strangers
And give up a father for my children?
And because of this
I stand where deeps lakes are drained
Shallow and empty

It is almost too late to change
I read books and wait for my reaction
I ignore what is primary as ignorance lives in haste
I am being counted on to defend the past
But the revolution was justified
Yet I can only assume that what is true
Was true
And what was being fought for
Was not God’s command
But instead what man sought to command for himself
And when he chose to live for his people
They killed him
Because the truth must die in this place
And he wore no make-up
For the glory of man will never be given to an imposter

I have not forgotten you my love
The years between us have passed
But I have no choice except to wait

Every morning I remember
But still I walk slowly on distant shores
Because love said it's never too late

There are no broken mirrors
Or paintings of jagged emotion
You were always my friend
Though you once said I was the one

We both know how we once felt
I don’t know if you live for something new
Or for someone who believes in fate

Maybe I’m just a bridge you once crossed
But the fire you see in the distance is my torch
The line destiny draws is not always straight

There is no broken glass
Or songs about bitter love that was lost
If we can only be friends
I will always smile no matter the cost

I don’t know if I wander about in your dreams
I just can’t decide if I’d rather be rumor or fact
I feel like a silent movie with a broken light
I need to know my audience so I know how to act

I had a pain like something serious in your chest
It felt like I should call a doctor but it’s not that bad
Most times I forget it ever happened
But this time it lingered and made be sad

It’s too bad we can’t tune our life up like a guitar
We get stretched and left in a corner somewhere
But in the right hands we can make magic again
It’d be easy if we could just find someone to care

I think I need to start by not thinking about happy
It’s a goal but at the same time it’s just too much
Why does life always have to be a project anyway?
The only way to get there is to lighten our touch

It's not just how we were together
It was the way it started
I didn't have to convince you
It was something you already knew

You left the door open
With white candles burning inside
It was as if you were expecting someone
The romance was that I was the one

I didn't have so far to climb
It was what you wanted all along
You were so unafraid
The look in my eyes was easy to tame

Now the candle has burned out
A closed door, I'm everybody's stranger
Who would be so fearless again
Now I wait for something I cannot explain

You were so unafraid
Unafraid to say what you mean
If only I knew how to to make someone
Unafraid to light a candle again

light the fire;
draw yourself near;
is it,
the doorway to hell
or the voice of God;
my heart is on fire,
i release it to you
enter the light,
do not be confused,
yes i cry
it is not enough though,
to burn with a scar;
it is also the ice breaking,
it seethes as it melts;
upon your skin,
rivers of new life,
awakening you;
but look again,
it is blinding you,
blinding you to your past,
to your pain,
it is there no more;
a beautiful story,
of fire, ice and light;
no longer orphaned,
but instead reborn,
in the light that you choose;
of love,
of life,
of me,
of him,
of you

It was another hot day
Like always
I was walking slow and thinking about the night
Then some words appeared in my mind
And I knew it would be all right

It was another beautiful girl
Like always
I was staring at her and thinking about the night
Then her naked body flew into my mind
And I knew it would be all right

It was another setting sun
Like always
I was sadly silent and thinking about the night
Then its darkness cooled my mind
And I knew it would be all right

It was another long day
Like always
I was tired and thinking about the night
Then my fatigue disappeared into my mind
And I knew it would be all right

It was another long conversation
Like always
I was relating and thinking about the night
Then nothing was left in my mind
And I knew it would be all right

I was made for the night
I solve its mysteries
I keep its secrets
From the coming light

It's hot... like always
She's beautiful... like always
It's gone... like always
It's over.... like always
I'm done... like always
It's alright... like always

To start all over again
Don’t tell me unless you want to
I can be your friend in a new world
Or someone to drag through your past

I’m not going to promise too much
We set our sails to discover but instead run away
Horizons can’t promise anything except to dreamers
And I can’t  live a life tied to the wrong mast

I can tell you think I’m like everyone else
I want to go to heaven
I want to love someone
But I don’t have you
That’s what makes me like everyone else

My eyes give me away
Still alive in fields where I want you to wander
I have a story too, you can see the lost roads
Night or day, sun or rain, my life still holds fast

I want to know all about you
The things that make you so sad
You think about it but you can’t go back
Somebody was your first, let me be your last

I can tell you think I’m like everyone else
I want to go to heaven
I want to love someone
But I don’t have you
That’s what makes me like everyone else

Like me
What is like me
She thought about waiting

Like me
Who is like me
She thought of someone else

Like me
Am I really like that
Distant in my thoughts
Close to my past
Like me
Ready for tomorrow
Ashamed of weakness
Defiant in desire
For love

Like me
Will someone like me

Because I'm like me

She said
Could you really love me
If I became the woman you wish I was?
Would you forget our past
If I became like a woman you know nothing of?

She said
How can I compete
Against someone who pretends to be free?
How can I make you remember
I was once the girl who was different than me?

She said she’d try again
She said she’d try again
But she said she couldn’t be new
New like your new friend

She said
Ask her my love
Is there nothing she wants for herself?
Ask her my love
Is there nothing else except love itself?

She said
Ask her my love
How she thinks it will one day be
Ask her my love
How long will it take for her to be me

She said she’d try again
She said she’d try again
But she said she couldn’t be new
New like your new friend

The flock exploded over my head
Diving down to the water below
What was once an empty gaze
Suddenly became sixty years gone

The candle burns quickly now
So I try to slow my breathe
I do not want flickering shadows
The erosion of light makes me sad

I want to walk in a cemetery
It’s the only way to really see
They have become who they are
They cannot defend themselves

I want decisions without influence
Too much is reserved for youth
What is left in the time I have left
I must make it mean something

I had something I wanted to say
But it just wouldn’t write itself
To see birds flying so easily
It’s only silence that knows humility

I wonder if someone would listen in
If only there was another line
They could hear the sound of my voice
And tell me why I cry when I pray

Listening for the sun, pretty ballerinas waiting
Glasses full of ice but what of their hearts; are
they still hoping or is it just sadness escaping?

Reality or mere existence, it’s hard to know how to live
Solitary women making their lips sing, but would the
stars remember what tomorrow can never forgive?

There was nothing I could say
Walking inside a fish bowl
You can’t hear the light
But what we choose to see
Is either the prism of what is right
Or the shadow of what is wrong

Listening for the sun, desperate men burning
Eyes full of passion but what of their hearts;
are they still hoping or is it a memory forgetting?

Reality or mere existence, it's hard not to think of it
Solitary men making their voices heard; but would
meaning choose which candle would finally be lit?

There was nothing I could say
Walking inside a fish bowl
You can’t hear the light
But what we choose to see
Is either the prism of what is right
Or the shadow of what is wrong

A dream is never too old
It will never be over
For it is your breath upon which it relies
And as long as your heart beats
Or promises are made to yourself
The gratitude of life will remember

Love is worthy of you
As you are of it
And art is your mistress
Wait not another moment
Live believing in chance
Your dream will know what to do

But do not rely solely upon fate
You are destiny knowing the secret
Love will always be true
If you will live
As if you have already found it
Because it is trying to find you

I never was a good old boy
But I have some friends who are
I never pretend to be something I’m not
But their voices echo next to mine

I think people misunderstand each other
The life they choose doesn’t mean yours is wrong
You can’t know what they are feeling
Or the way the past steered their mind

I can see why you live that way
It’s not me but maybe someday
I do what I have to do and that’s just fine
I can see why you live that way
But right now I have reasons for mine

I’ve looked the long way down a sendero
I like it better when it’s cold outside
The quiet of the distance comforts me
I wonder if it feels warmer inside a blind

I can imagine anything anyway because I do
Walking is the same thing if you take it slow
It’s hard to describe trying to warm your insides
And missing the memories you left behind

I can see why you live that way
It’s not me but maybe someday
I do what I have to do and that’s just fine
I can see why you live that way
But right now I gotta’ live like mine

I’m floating on a lake filled by my imagination
I waded beyond the shores of acceptance to find inner inspiration
The deeper it becomes the easier it is to be me
I didn’t think about who you’re with because it is only the sky I can see

Sometimes it feels like we are so close
Our arms around each other whispering about old thorns without a rose
I was in the middle of a dream without a bed
I finally remembered why you left but forgot the things that you said

How can so many years seem so short?
That’s what happens when you don’t believe in goodbye
You live and pretend to walk on water
It’s how you convince yourself you never did tell a lie

When we first met it was so easy
Whatever we wanted happened because we wanted to be happy
It was the water quiet at our feet
Nothing made us worry because it wasn’t the way people usually meet

How can so many years seem so long?
That’s what happens when you have to wait out a new love
You die and sink in a lake full of regret
It’s how you know honesty wasn’t what you were made of

You can never promise it will be the way it was
They know you too well to believe that story again
It’s when the wind blows and the rain falls that life begins
If you tell her then maybe she’ll believe the story didn’t end

How can so many years mean so much?
That’s what happens floating between below and above
You live and die until you decide which one you prefer
Then you know if you’re ready to walk again for love

If I live to prove that I am not who they want me to be, then I am not living as I could be; I do not want to live as a revolutionary in a constant state of defiance unless it is for a greater good, neither do I wish to exploit their weakness for my own gain; I do not want to live as a reactionary but instead as a vision of what I could be; for though they too are a part of this world and it is this world in which my body exists it is my mind instead that lives apart, uncolored by bitterness or the need to prove anything to anyone; I know my worth and I choose to live as a free spirit that only considers the possibilities of itself and to fly like a bird upon the wind instead of blowing with it like the dust from which we came.

She said being lonely is better than what time drags along
It reminded me of a conversation from long ago
It ended because nobody would admit they were wrong

All my dreams vanished because I can’t sleep long enough
A mind full of hope is like a sail full of promise
But the wind only laughs when the seas get rough

I thought about jumping
But I started climbing instead
I thought about crying
But that’s not what my heart said
My memories were once in my pocket
Until they tore a hole in the thread

You said it to me but there wasn’t time for it to sink in
I didn’t listen but I hear it now
You hear a voice but an echo tells you how long it’s been

I thought about jumping
But I started climbing instead
I thought about laughing
But not because of what you said
My memories were once in my heart
Until they tore a hole in my head

You saw me going away
Like rain down a gutter
Such a waste
But not dead
Not a part of your life anymore
But missed when the sun shines too long
People like us live on
No longer in the moment you decided to notice
You walk above ground
Because you survived it
We had to find another place to live
But we're still here
Waiting for more rain to bring your memory near

I saw beautiful homes and lawns
Lined by frowning gutters and awnings
I saw broken lattice and falling fences
During a mornings smiling dawning

Sometimes it seems what money can’t buy
Lives where there’s no money at all
Until the cold chill arrives
And the leaves begin to fall

Living on the tracks with no place to go
I lived on one side
And then the other
Living on the tracks with no place to go
What I found was what I didn’t know

I’m not sure what it is I believe
I just want what’s best for my kids
But the real world is on the other side
I wonder if they could live on the skids

I left home because I just couldn’t cope
Now I’m alone and I feel the same
I’ve learned more about myself
And those who have no name

Living on the tracks with no place to go
I lived on one side
And then the other
Living on the tracks with no place to go
What I found was what I didn’t know

Every small child wants someone to love
We’re the ones who make them feel small
They want to smile even with a broken toy
Don’t cover them when the leaves begin to fall

Don’t ask me to wish you luck with all your money
You spent your time pretending but who’s kidding who
Now you walk away into the sunset that you finally noticed
Justified by the praise of people who want to be just like you

What echoes in my mind is rejection of the message
There are shadows upon my future as if it even exists
The weather is not a summer breeze but a still day
There is no reassurance for a man who resists

But what did they learn from your gift of callous focus?
Ruining people’s lives was just something you had to do
It didn’t matter because the enterprise was your mistress
You tried to hide it but she was all that was inside you

I thought it was creating a need where there was none
Or impressing someone who wished they had an office
But the ink that couldn’t be recycled recorded a past I hate
I wonder if the man who threw it away has clinched fists

Who would relish in destroying a working man’s pride
Where are you when he has to tell his family he’s lost
How hard can life be when they laugh at all your jokes
Except the ones who know your warmth will turn to frost

A vacation without rain isn’t too much to ask is it?
But how do rapids form waiting for someone like me
I’m willing to stand under the falling tears of heaven
I won’t ask nature to be something it wasn’t  meant to be

You have to learn to say thank you but not really mean it
Every pleasantry has a price like every dollar paid is a loss
His wife waits for him to come home knowing his mind won’t
But the old wine is the dividend from him being the boss

I wanted to be everything you have ever dreamed about
But you didn’t know you had to live with another man’s ambition
I wonder if we could move to a small town and leave it all behind
I just want you to believe in me and not someone else’s vision