in my eyes i see and feel success
but in her eyes failure is all it adds up to be,
the world nods their heads in agreement
their judgments crushing the life from me.

not enough to be an A student
not enough to volunteer with kids,
not enough to graduate salutatorian
not enough to be musically gifted.

not enough to play soccer collegiately
not enough to be modest in my fashion,
not enough to be oldest child and organized
not enough to be committed to my passions.

not enough to follow my heart
not enough to pursue my dreams,
not enough to be a Christ follower
not enough it will always seem.

nearly four weeks have passed,
i can barely
contain my excitement, but
how will you respond
once you finally
lay eyes upon me and
approach with your blue eyes,
smiling on the inside

just a normal day when my heart lept straight
out of my chest like
never before as every breath
escaped my lips at the
sight of you again

wondering how one person can cause
all these unexplainable emotions that
linger uncontrollably; and when your
kind genuine smile met mine,
every worry faded away knowing you
remembered me

i don't understand why you always see me as
sassy
i won't deny that sometimes you are
right
but most of the time i'm tryin' to be
classy
while you drive me crazy every
night.

'tis a season for joy

a season for-
jolly good times with loved ones held dear
ornaments to display our holiday cheer
yuletide carols sung for a King so near

a season for-
jubilation found in selfless opportunities
optimistic spirits filled with generosity
young and old to gather in community

where no matter-
gender or age
culture or race
poor or wealthy
sick or healthy

no matter your circumstance
you can still choose
joy

we both strive to be the one that's right
we have our own opinions that sometimes clash
but i'd rather say, "sorry, i'm wrong"
than see our friendship crash.

she should probably stop
collecting coffee cups.
everytime she asks me to do the dishes
or everytime i decide to surprise her
i always stand there
looking up
and wondering
how she ever found a place for them all.
everything is put away
except for the small one that remains
in my hand.
staring at the packed cupboards
i feel lost
like i'm in unknown territory
and don't know where to go.
the wrong move will set off
bombs, explosions, bombs
and nobody wants that.
so i set it on the counter
and leave it for my mother
coming to the conclusion that
she must be a magician.

a single drop of rain
gently escapes
from my eyes.

and the thought of you
stirs up the storm inside me.
my eyes take shelter and put up their guards
so that you won't be able to see what's inside
(not like you'd take the time to search them anyways).

don't let them come, don't let them come, don't let them come.
build the floodgates higher.
don't let them come, don't let them come, don't let them come.
stop the thoughts dead in their tracks.

because if i don't
it will flood and it will pour-
the storm of my heart,
the storm of my soul.

my heart cries,
take me back!
my soul longs,
take me back!
let's go to Columbus
where we spent a week under the
shining summer sun
adventuring downtown
and there was never a frown
upon my face.
where we spent a week
singing soulful songs
at the top of our lungs
with the rest of our young
generation.
where we spent a week
powerfully and purposefully praising
our one true King
who is high above everything
and all we are.
where we spent a week
beautifully bonding
with those who don't care about fame
and are the same
as us.
my heart cries,
for when
my soul longs,
for when
we go next year to Orlando
where i know without trying
i will fall in love with you,
all over again.

they say i'm a dreamer
they say i dream too much
but is that even possible?
to dream so much that
you run out of dreams?
that would be a sad thing really.

they say i'm a dreamer
they say i dream too much
but is it something you can limit?
only if you give in to the words
and stop believing in the limitlessness.
that would be a sad thing really.

they say i'm a dreamer
they say i dream too much
that i'm wasting my time
but am i?
my days are brighter with dreams
they give me hope for the future.

they say i'm a dreamer
they say i dream too much
is it because they have none?
so they choose to accuse
and discourage an innocent soul?
maybe they need hope for the future.

they say i'm a dreamer
they say i dream too much
and i set my goals too high
and i should be ashamed of myself
but i'm not. i love who i am
because i'm a dreamer.

tell me why
all of a sudden
you’ve been on my mind
lately,
outside of the
random thought or two;

jumped to conclusions at first, but please
understand I wouldn’t mind
slowly taking the
time to know you more
instead of losing a
chance at friendship, because
everyone deserves a second chance.

i really should be getting to bed
but all these thoughts race through my head,
i really should be getting some rest
but this is the time that i think best...

you feel like you have no worth
yet you have a reason to be on this earth,
you look in the mirror and you are displeased
yet you fail to see that you're a true beauty.

we feel emptiness in our hearts
for those we loved and are no longer a part.
we get excited when someone new comes along
for we sing the melodies to a new song.

you talk about sun and rain and snow
and how none of us would know- (including)
you, that when they awoke today
an accident would end their earthly stay.

we try our hardest and sometimes we fail
but try to get back up and pave a new trail
we all go through seasons of sorrow
but find hope to make it to tomorrow.

you try to fit in and everyone says you're wrong
when all you want is to feel a sense of belong
you feel so lonely and want to give up the fight
when at the end of the tunnel there really is a light.

we travel through each and every day
forgetting we have power with the words we say,
we make wishes upon stars
forgetting how blessed we really are.

to every son and daughter
who has ever lost a father,
to every girl and boy
who has lost all joy,
to all the young and old
who have been sold
into believing that-
"nobody loves you"
and "nobody cares,"
"you'll never be good enough"
so you feel life's unfair.
all those people have been
deceivin'
because all those things you've been
believin'
are false.
they are lies,
so dry
your eyes
spread your wings and fly,
because you are loved,
and you always will be.

i will never forget
the long days of soccer
the sleepless nights of homework
the authentic conversations
the laughs we shared;

i will never forget
how you were more than a friend
how you never knew my true feelings
how we almost lost all we had and
how we miraculously saved that which was of value;

i will never forget
the adventures we embarked on
the memories we recorded
the genuine joy of being around you
the day my heart chose friendship;

i will never forget you,
my yellow cleated friend.

to trade confusion for clarity
to pursue the perfect degree
to marry the man of my dreams
to leave the place i’ve always called home
to travel the world and see it’s wonders
to explore beaches i’ve never laid eyes upon
to go on a wildlife safari
to build an international orphanage from the ground up
to study in the holy lands
to be fluent in a foreign language
to adventure through cities i’ve never heard of
to live freely by detaching from the world
to care for those less fortunate than me
to see revival in unchurched people groups
to excel in my dream job
to know what my dream job would be
to live without limits and constraints
to never feel exhausted or weary
to lead broken people to restoration
to be part of something greater than myself
to love generously
to know my purpose

i wish to go back
to the way things used to be
when we were happy
when we were carefree
i wish a simple smile
could shed light on things unclear
to heal every silent fear
to heal every hidden tear

when people are
suffering
in deep pain
pain that is greater
than the pain you feel,
how can you think about
yourself?

when you can
survive
in discomfort
discomfort that is less
than the discomfort they feel,
how can you think about
yourself?

when they need
healing
so much more
more that is desired and
even more than you need,
how can you think about
yourself?

the truth is
i can’t.

their pain can’t be ignored,
your pain can’t be ignored.

i would live every day with
my pain
if it meant everyone else was
forever healed.

but someone else already paid that price
and his name is
Jesus.

(1) the same sky that covers me covers you,
my sky is gray and yours is so blue.

(2) i just wanna hold you close and hug you tight,
i wanna hold your hand and kiss you goodnight.

(3) tomorrow you board the ship, what a wonderful trip it’ll be,
as you sail along the bluest of waters, remember to think of me.

(4) i love the sound of your voice for it is so sweet,
i cannot wait until again our lips meet.

(5) amidst the clouds the sun is brightly shining here today,
but still your smile shines brighter in every single way.

(6) over forty eight hours since i last heard you speak,
but you’ll be home from the sea in less than a week.

(7) i can’t help but wonder if you’re still alive and real,
for your strong arms and sweet kiss are what i can’t wait to feel.

(8) the distance continues to drive me insane,
but our love is stronger and it will always remain.

(9) forever i’ll be waiting for you and watching the skies,
because i miss you more than you’ll ever realize.

(10) you’re back in this country which is a great sign,
for soon your hand will interlock with mine.

(11) the anticipation grows as the hours ever decrease,
for tomorrow my heart will be complete and finally at peace.

(12) finally we’ve reached this long awaited day,
my love is coming home and my love is here to stay.

my heart beating
beating for Your voice
Your voice flowing
flows like a river
a rushing river
rushes into my soul
my soul overwhelmed
overwhelmed by Your love
an endless love
endlessly it chases
chases after my heart
my heart has fallen
fallen for my King
my King who reigns
reigns above the heavens and earth
the heavens and earth which He
He created in glory
glory belongs
belongs to the Creator
Creator of all
and all is what He wants
He wants from me
my everything
and everything will one day
one day bow down
bow down before the throne
the throne of my Father
a Father who outlasts
outlasts all ages
for all ages He is the rock
the rock who never fails
failure may come
come to me
i may be weak
in weakness He is stronger
His strength makes me stand
and i stand in awe
awe of who You are
and who You are is good.

the season has begun
and tonight was oh so fun
it was the first dinner of many
we had turkey a plenty
yet there was only one lone
wishbone.
i knew right then and there
and maybe it wasn't fair,
that i had to be the one to break
i had to be the one to make
a wish and hope for it to
come true.
so i grabbed one end
and it started to bend,
i couldn't believe my eyes
when in my hand was the bigger size
which means my wish about you
will possibly come true.

writer’s block
writer’s block
pearl necklace
alarm clock
window one
window two
penny jar
cowgirl shoe
books on the left
books on the right
beside my bed
lamp for night
count the instruments
count all four
stuffed monkeys
creaky door
walls of yellow
walls of wood
trinkets from
childhood
frames here
frames there
flowers are
everywhere
red candle
orange candle
giant mirror
bronze handles
full closet
empty trash can
tie blanket
ceiling fan
writer’s block
writer’s block
time to go
for a walk

you'll never know how my heart melted,
you'll never know the thoughts that raced through my mind at 100 mph,
you'll never know that i long for more than best friends.
i know you were only trying to get my attention,
that's the only reason,
you didn't actually mean anything.
or did you?

if your love is truly patient and kind,
then Lord, change my heart and mind.
if your love isn't full of jealousy and pride,
then Lord, i wanna set myself aside.
if your love cares more about others,
then Lord, help me to love my brothers.
if your love doesn't get annoyed,
then Lord, i wanna always spread joy.
if your love is genuinely forgiving,
then Lord, in the present i'll be living.
if your love rejoices in what is true,
then Lord, i wanna love like you do.
if your love never gives up,
then Lord, in faith i will jump.
if your love is always persistent,
then Lord, i wanna reach those who are distant.
if your love has the power to change lives,
then Lord, i give you mine.