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and when i hear your voice
it's colored in the most beautiful shade of pink
with a shimmer of a dark forest green
containing a few silver sparkles

and when i look at you
i see a wonderful shape of dark red dust
mixed with dark blue and purple fragments
and it's the kind of dust
that makes everybody looking at you
smile

and when i think of you
all these small parts become one
and it's a beautiful sky of stars
made of colors

and i realise that i really like the colors
just as i really like you
Tears of grief stream down their faces,
Mirroring the falling rain.
As a mother and her little girl lie dead,
having been slain.
I cannot possibly comprehend the family's pain.
Or begin to know why such a senseless tragedy
has happened again.
But in the midst of this fallen world of tragedies and grief,
I must hold fast to my belief.
That God is still God.
That God still loves.
And He knows how to bring good
out of
unspeakable
loss.
Written in the wake of hearing the tragic news that five-year-old Taliyah Marsman's body has been found after a three day amber alert in Calgary, Alberta (where I live).  My prayers and condolences go out to the family and friends of Taliyah and her mother Sara Bailie.  I grieve along with them over this terrible loss.
3 little words can be the easiest to say or be the most difficult of all.
3 little words we all have heard them.
3 little words can have the potential to have the most influence and meaning and impact others for many years to come.
3 little words work best as a verb.
3 little words can not just stand alone but need some action to back them.
3 little words can become meaningless and empty, without the necessary action, they can be too quickly discarded and forgotten like yesterday's news.
3 little words can produce either happiness or regret dependent on what actions follow. If the meaning is hollow broken promises can follow. Leaving broken hearts and shattering lives like an emotional earthquake in its wake.
Only 3 little words but consider how much impact they really have. Please remember words are a powerful influence either to a positive or negative degree.
3 little words what a difference they can make when spoken wisely and backed with the proper action they can be fulfilling instead of empty.
3 little words should only be used with caution, beware of the power of the tongue and please choose your words carefully.
The choice is up to you and me what impact we give to 3 little words.
You can hear it if you closely listen
That's the beat of my heart missing
What I wouldn't give right now
For a glimpse of Sarah's smile

So inviting, so wide open
Where there's beauty in the knowing
Wonder of the child
Inside of Sarah's smile

Corners turned up in perfection
Leaves no room or need for guessing
As you soon find out
Inside of  Sarah's smile

Bringing life to clarity
Giving them away for free
Love the only sound
Inside of Sarah's smile

There is laughter in the making
No time that is ever wasted
What I wouldn't give right now
For a glimpse of Sarah's smile
Just thinking of my beautiful daughters smile.
Spending a month in a hospital teaches you a lot about people.
The doctor that told me to shave my head or she wouldn't treat me,
The nurses that spent forever chatting to me
And giving me supportive advice about how my illness doesn't define me.
The woman who was given a terminal cancer sentence
And chose not to pay attention to it and defied it anyway.
How she sat next to me on my bed,
Told me that all suffering is valid,
And just because I'm not dying, doesn't mean I don't get to complain.
How she complains more about her skin problems
Than she ever complained about her cancer,
And that's OK, because pain rarely follows rules.
I never even learned her name,
But she gave me the words I hold most closely to me
On those days when I want to fall asleep and never wake up.
I'm allowed to scream and shout and rage against the pain
And the unfairness of it happening to me.
I just have to make sure I know where the line is
Between giving my darkness a voice and pitying myself.
From the moment I took a breathe,
I was thrown into a narrow way of life.
Unfair way of thinking.
Stunting my progression.
I had to be the perfect little Mormon girl.
"Stand up straight.
Talk like a young lady."
I couldn't express my individuallaity.
Ironically the way god made me.
The words dug in deep perpetually.
"Your eyeliner is to deep you look like a harlet.
What the hell are you wearing?"
I dressed to **** and **** meant ***.
*** made you a deformed unbloomed flower unless you were married.
I was misinformed constantly.
I didn't want to go to hell I wanted my family to support me.
I put on show for far to long trying to please everybody.
I couldn't understand why something so true and great could bring nothing but shame and misery.
I gave my everything and it was killing me.
I was drove to the fine line of insanity.
Free falling down so beautifully.
Finding myself in an erratic deranged way.
No longer following any man into the ground.
Keeping the firm heart within me.
I take a breath and close my eyes
And whisper "please, just let it pass".
My heart beats fast, my chest is tight,
I feel I'll break, I'm made of glass.

I want to scream, but lack the air,
The best that I can do is cry
And in the midst of all of this
I'm certain this is how I'll die.

I just need you to give me room
I just want you to hold me tight
I need silent reassurance,
I need to think I'll be alright.

My legs are weak; my heavy arms
Can do little to calm the storm.
My mind, my trap, my prison cell,
My oldest foe in truest form.

I close my eyes, I clinch my fist
And take another heavy breath,
And silently, I pray for peace,
Some cadence or merciful death.
Anxiety disorder, ptsd, and me- til death do us part.
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