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4.0k · May 2015
Love At First Sight
From the very beginning
you touched me in a way no one has before
you loved everything about me
yet you didn't even know my name
you let me be myself
even though I deserved to be put in my place
instead you just listen to me vent
until a smile crosses my face
I had no idea I'd fall in love with you
with our very first "Hello"
I try to think of how my life was without you
but now it's **** near impossible
you have such an affect on me
your a drug I can't describe
you are the one for me
you are my love at first sight
WRITTEN BY: Mandie Michelle Sanders
WRITTEN ON: April. 16, 2014 Wednesday 4:42 A.M.
3.6k · Apr 2015
A Promise To Myself
I promise to be confident
I promise to be true
I promise to not be so ******* myself
I promise to start new
I promise to not call myself ugly
I promise to not fall apart
I promise to cry when I’m happy
I promise to be strong
I promise to not be selfish
I promise to be myself
I promise to be my own kind of beautiful
I promise not to be jealous of anyone else
I promise to always smile
I promise to be sweet
I promise to make good decisions
I promise to be healthy
I promise to always hope
I promise to not give up
I promise to be a good friend
I promise to not call myself a **** up
I promise to be honest
I promise to shine
I promise to fight to the end
I promise to protect what’s mine
I promise to not call myself fat
I promise to just relax
I promise to believe in myself
I promise to ignore what’s being said behind my back
I promise to do my best
I promise to love unconditionally
I promise to live like there is no tomorrow
I promise to not give up on me
WRITTEN BY: Mandie Michelle Sanders
WRITTEN ON: Feburary. 15, 2011 Tuesday 2:31 P.M.
3.6k · Aug 2015
Kiss Me
Kiss me when I'm happy
Kiss me when I'm mad
Kiss me when I'm hyper
Kiss me when I'm sad
Kiss me when I'm sleepy
Kiss me when I'm sick
Kiss me when you're bored because I can't get enough of your lips
Kiss me in your car
Kiss me in the shower
Kiss me when we're walking
Kiss me for a couple of hours
Kiss me during school
Kiss me during work
Kiss me when I'm scared
Kiss me when I'm a ****
Kiss me when your dreams come true
Kiss me at hello
Kiss me when your world crashes down
Kiss me when your feeling low
Kiss me because you love me
Kiss me at goodbye
Kiss me for no reason at all
Your kisses are what keeps me alive
WRITTEN BY: Mandie Michelle Sanders
WRITTEN ON: May. 4, 2011 Wednesday 11:55 A.M.
2.8k · Feb 2016
Love Me While I'm Alive
I refuse to be one of those people
that everyone chooses to love once she is dead
Don't wait until I'm lifeless and can no longer hear you
to start giving a **** about me
If I wasn't good enough for you while I was alive
I sure as hell won't be good enough for you when I'm dead
If there is something you need to tell me
do it while I can still hear you
If you want to see me
make plans with me
If you love me
tell me while I am still here to love you back
Do not wait until I am a pile of ashes
to confess everything you ever wanted to say to me
WRITTEN BY: Mandie Michelle Sanders
WRITTEN ON: February. 25, 2016 Thursday 6:04 PM
I stepped into your shoes today
and I felt devestation
a death in the family took you by surprise
now you contemplating suicide again
I stepped into your shoes today
and I felt so proud
you graduated High School
your screaming in your victory voice so loud
I stepped into your shoes today
and your heart is breaking
your boyfriend just broke up with you
your throwing everything away that’s no longer worth saving
I stepped into your shoes today
and I felt guilty
you cut after almost as year
now your feeling ugly
I stepped into your shoes today
and I felt depressed
your getting ready to **** yourself
because you feel so helpless
I stepped into your shoes today
and I felt scared
your about to have your first baby
and the father isn’t there
I stepped into your shoes today
and I got a really bad tummy ache
you have Cancer and your dying
there’s not much more your body can take
I stepped into your shoes today
and I started to cry
your husband was called into war
this could be your final goodbye
I stepped into your shoes today
and I felt nervous
your leaving for college in two days
and you can’t seem to find your courage
I stepped into your shoes today
and I felt lost
your five years old, you lost your Mom and it’s almost getting dark
I stepped into your shoes today
and I felt overjoyed
you won an award for your writing
you are filled with so much pride
I stepped into your shoes today
and I felt peace
you lived your life, you reached your dreams
your as ready for death as you will ever be
I stepped into your shoes today
and I felt in love
you just married the love of your life
in front of your family, friends and God
I stepped back into my own shoes today
and I felt grateful
I realized I’m not the only one on earth with problems
and I’m thankful for all the greatness I get blessed with each and everyday
WRITTEN BY: Mandie Michelle Sanders
WRITTEN ON: June.21, 2013 Friday 9:39 P.M.
2.1k · Jun 2015
I Hate High School
I want to go far away from here
I'm sick of being in this place
I'm sick of feeling sick all of the time
I'm sick of seeing her face
I'm tired of being an outcast
I'm tried of being a joke
I'm tired of being questioned
I'm tired of wanting to choke
I'm fed up with being unaccepted
I'm fed up with how I look
I'm fed up with my emotions
and my dignity that they took
I'm sick of feeling out of control
I'm sick of being sad
I'm sick of feeling out of my skin
and always being mad
I'm sick of being a loser
I'm sick of being lame
I'm sick of being misunderstood
I hate feeling ******* insane.
WRITTEN BY: Mandie Michelle Sanders
WRITTEN ON: Started May. 12, 2010 Ednesday, Finished May. 13, 2010 Thursday 9:02 A.M.
2.0k · Jan 2016
Oh Darling
Oh Darling,
It kills me inside to see you so sad
You are so young
You are so beautiful
I won't be the kind of person who tells you that you are too young
to be so sad
Depression doesn't care about age
Depression doesn't care about race
Depression doesn't care that you have a plate full of problems already
Depression is a sneaky *******
Depression has a way of reaching into your personal outer space
and wrap it's arms so tightly around your neck as it forces you
down into the deepest part of the ocean
It lets you go every once in awhile but as soon as you are so close
to reaching the surface to finally catch your breath
it comes back up and down you go again
I'm sure somewhere in your heart you know that you are beautiful
You know that you are strong
You know that you are capable of doing anything you set your mind to
However, depression doesn't let us see our beauty
It doesn't let us feel our strength
Depression takes away our ability to get through the hell it unleashes onto us
I spent seven years slicing up my arms in the hopes that my sadness
would leak out of me
I spent months starving myself
as a way to make up for the beauty depression took from me
I spent so many nights envisioning suicide and attempting not once
not twice
but three times because I was so tired of feeling sad
I was so tired of being sore not just on the inside but on the outside
I was tired of feeling like I was constantly drowning
Someone once told me I was too young to be sad
I laughed in anger because how dare that person tell me that
How dare that person make me feel like I was being ridiculous
for feeling how I felt
Do you think I enjoyed making myself bleed?
Do you think I enjoyed being hungry?
Do you think I enjoyed feeling tired because I was fighting a battle that no one else could fight but me
I know that when you cry yourself to sleep at night
you wish you could just fall asleep in peace
I know that when you take those pills
you don't really want to take them
but you are running out of options on how to make your unhappiness go away
They say it's the people around you
It's the things that you watch
It's the things that you read that make you so sad
The only people who tell you that are people who have never
ever experienced true depression
I haven't cut myself in three years
That doesn't mean that when depression pays me a visit
I don't wish that I could lean on a razor to feel better
I am not here to tell you what to do or what not to do
I am here to let you know that I understand what it's like
to feel the way that you do
I understand what it's like
to be where you are right now
I know what it is like to just want to die because you are tired of fighting
I also know now that there is a light at the end of this dark
and what feels like an endless tunnel
I know that if you keep fighting
you will get through this sadness
I'm not saying the sadness will go away because it won't
I'm twenty three years old and that sadness I felt as a teenager
still lingers behind me each and every day
I learned to reach inside myself
and use my sadness as a weapon to kick depression's ***
It's exhausting each and every day
It was devastating to learn that I will be fighting this battle for the rest of my life
I have two options every morning when I wake up
I can choose to fight or choose to give up
Oh Darling
It kills me inside to see you so sad
You are so young
You are so beautiful
I won't be the kind of person who tells you that you are too young
to be so sad
I will be the person that loves you
and shows you that there is life beyond this ugly thing called depression


If you ever need someone to talk to: 24-hour Hotline.
National Suicide Prevention Helpline.
1-800-273-8255 (1-800-273-TALK)
WRITTEN BY: Mandie Michelle Sanders
WRITTEN ON: January. 8, 2016 Friday 11:19 PM
Everyone feels pressure to make a huge impact on the world
We all want to be remembered when we die
We fear that if we are not famous when we die
then no one will miss us
No one will grieve us
No one will ache for us
That is not true
Fame does not measure how much you are loved
You do not need to be on TV to be loved
You do not need to take your clothes off in front of a camera to be loved
You do not need to write a hit song to be loved
You do not need to have a million dollars to be loved
The ones who love you for who you are
The ones who have seen you at your lowest and still stuck around
The ones who fought with you and for you
The ones who remembered your birthday without the help of Facebook
The ones who saw you at your most vulnerable and never took advantage of you
The ones who held your hand when you were scared
The ones who cheered you on when you couldn't believe in yourself
Those are the people who truly love you
Those are the people who will remember you
Those are the people who will not let a day go by without showing you
even after death how much they love you
So what those people may be five
or 20
or 50
They may not be 2 million followers like your social media profile reads
I would rather be remembered by 5 people who truly loved me
than by 2 million people who only love me based on my social status as a celebrity


For anyone who has passed on that thinks their souls are not remembered and to those who fear they will be forgotten after death, you will be remembered and you are remembered. This poem was inspired by Taylor Swift's song "Long Live" and Season 4: Episode 14 "The Hero In The Hold" from the Television show "Bones"
WRITTEN BY: Mandie Michelle Sanders
WRITTEN ON: November. 26, 2015 Thursday 4:49 AM Thanksgiving Day
There comes a time where things happen for a reason and there is nothing  we can do about that. There comes a time when we leave our hearts open knowing that our hearts may get broken sometimes. There comes a time when everything falls apart and you ask yourself "how did I get here"? When that happens, that is the time to take a stand, stay strong, and tell the one you love how you feel even though you might get rejected in the end. You don't want to spend your life wondering "what if" or live in regret because you didn't take a risk in love.
WRITTEN BY: Mandie Michelle Sanders
WRITTEN ON: April. 17, 2011 Sunday 5:30 P.M.
1.8k · Dec 2017
All I Want For Christmas
Dear Santa
I don't ever ask you for anything
not because I don't believe in you
I just don't like to ask for things
I feel selfish when I do
Out of all of the things a woman my age could possibly want
this is all I truly desire this year
All I want for Christmas is true love
the kind of love people obsess over in songs and books
I want kisses that feel like electricity exploding
that feeling of someones hand in mine causing more goosebumps on my skin better than any snowfall ever could
I want deep conversations that prolong into the early morning and breakfast at 12pm because we slept in late
after being up all night
I want passion so real it scares the **** out of me but it's okay because I have someone to share that he passion with
I want care rides full of laughter over things most people are too uptight to laugh about
I want a connection to someone so intense I can't describe it with words
I want the good, the bad and the ugly that comes with true love
I know true love isn't perfect but that's what makes it real
It's messy, complicated and scary
but I'm brave enough to want it
Without love life is empty
whether it be a romantic love,
platonic love,
love for your family or pets
Love is magical
I just want someone to share the magic with
I know what I'm asking for is impossible and a little weird
but it's all I would love to have for Christmas this year
WRITTEN BY: MANDIE MICHELLE SANDERS
WRITTEN ON: NOVEMBER. 25, 2017 SATURDAY 10:46 AM
I promise to be confident
I promise to be true
I promise to not be so ******* myself
I promise to start new
I promise to not call myself ugly
I promise to not fall apart
I promise to cry when I’m happy
I promise to be strong
I promise to not be selfish
I promise to be myself
I promise to be my own kind of beautiful
I promise not to be jealous of anyone else
I promise to always smile
I promise to be sweet
I promise to make good decisions
I promise to be healthy
I promise to always hope
I promise to not give up
I promise to be a good friend
I promise to not call myself a **** up
I promise to be honest
I promise to shine
I promise to fight to the end
I promise to protect what’s mine
I promise to not call myself fat
I promise to just relax
I promise to believe in myself
I promise to ignore what’s being said behind my back
I promise to do my best
I promise to love unconditionally
I promise to live like there is no tomorrow
I promise to not give up on me
WRITTEN BY: Mandie Michelle Sanders
WRITTEN ON: Feburary. 15, 2011 Tuesday 2:31 P.M.
1.7k · Apr 2015
I Hate My Body
Right now I’m struggling with my weight
I honestly hate how I look
I’m always comparing myself to other girls
to the point my feelings get hurt
I don’t have a thigh gap
my ***** are really huge
my stomach sticks out when I sit then hangs when I stand
I can’t wear a pair of jeans without looking like a whale
Sometimes I wish I could cut off my fat
so I can be happy with what I see
I wish I looked like the skinny girls you see all over Tumblr
I sit in the shower and cry
as I tear myself down for an hour
I feel like everyone is disgusted with me
whenever I go out in public
I feel so huge next to anyone
so I perfer to stand by myself
I wish this battle with myself would end
I hate hiding my body
I just wish I was tiny like other girls
so I can stop disgusting everybody
WRITTEN BY: Mandie Michelle Sanders
WRITTEN ON: November. 13, 2014 Thursday 4:14 A.M.
1.6k · Aug 2015
Bombastic Love
I am so in love with you I want to scream
I am so glad I found you
it makes me gleam
The smile on my face says it all
you make me feel strong so I can stand tall
You kidnapped my heart
and it feels so great
You're there to hold me and catch me at any rate
Your love for me makes me blush
when you hold my hand I get an adrenaline rush
The things you say to me make me feel special
the things you do for me are so wonderful
I can do anything when you're around
you pick me up from the cold when I fall to the ground
I can't believe I have you
I love you so much
I love you even more every time we touch
You are my soulmate
you take my breath away
I love you so very much
marry me today


I wrote this for the man I had my first real relationship with. I was 16 years old. I hope to feel this way again one day when I fall in love with my true soul mate.
WRITTEN BY: Mandie Michelle Sanders
WRITTEN ON: February. 25, 2009 Wednesday 1:38 P.M.
1.5k · Jan 2017
Love Is Magic
There is such a thing as magic
and that magic is called love.
You create magic
every time you choose love over hate.
Love has the power to do wonderful things
and no matter how hopeless things may seem
the magic of love can prove otherwise.
Whether the love is shared with your lover,
your friends,
your family,
your pets,
a stranger,
a child it's all the same.
Love can be found in a song,
a poem,
a smile,
a laugh,
a compliment,
a hug,
or a reassurance that everything will be okay.
Love can change the world
and changing the world is magical.
WRITTEN BY: Mandie Michelle Sanders
WRITTEN ON: January. 24, 2017 Tuesday 11:34 P.M.
1.5k · Jul 2017
Don't Like It, Don't Read It
When people read my poetry
they all have the same question
"Why does your poetry have to be so sad?"
The question used to offend me
I used to think that question deserved an answer
I even started changing the kind of poems I wrote to please the people who read them
I was satisfied with my work
but it wasn't really me
I began to feel guilty
I began to feel like a fraud
Charles Bukowski once wrote
"a good writer must simply let it all go, regardless"
I'm sure he meant for those words to mean something else but for me
it was as if I was being reminded to stop allowing other people to have control over my writing
It's not every day I gain advice from someone who has passed on years before I was ever born
I no longer feel the need to answer everybody's question
Hell I even ask myself from time to time
"Mandie, why must your poetry be so sad?"
Depression is another language to me
I speak it well
I write it well
I know it well
Bottom line
if my poetry is too sad for you
then don't read it
WRITTEN BY: Mandie Michelle Sanders
WRITTEN ON:August. 26, 2016 Friday 10:08 A.M.
When I think about losing you
I think about losing my best friend
I think about all we have gone through
how I would hate for all of the memories to end
When I think about kissing you
I think of how in love I am with you
You are the only man I want to be with
I want to spend my life with you
When I think about holding your hand
I think about how safe I feel
I feel loved and adored
I feel on top of the earth
When I think about being in your arms
I think about how happy you make me
You hold me and treat me like a Queen
I feel so lucky to be yours
When I think of marrying you
I think of taking your last name
Saying "I do" and walking into a life that will be forever changed
When I think of our life together
I think of love that will last forever
We are the couple who overcomes anything
We fall more in love with each other with each passing day
WRITTEN BY: Mandie Michelle Sanders
WRITTEN ON: June. 21, 2013 Friday 10:07 PM
I was told today to drop dead
to go away because I am annoying
I went home, shut my bedroom door
and immediately started crying
I've been told these words before
you think they would be easier to hear
Yet every time those words are said
I am consumed by my biggest fears
My emotional scars re-open
revealing a vulnerable part of me I try so hard to hide
I'm taken back to seven years ago
when my only thoughts were of suicide
I don't mean to be annoying
I can't help who I am
I'm sorry I'm not good enough
but there is no way you will forgive me is there?
This is what happens when you care so much
you tend to get hurt
This is why I build up walls
because humans are the worst
So I sit here writing this poem
on my cold bathroom floor
Letting my tears fall down my face
as I try to mend my heart that you just broke
WRITTEN BY: Mandie Michelle Sanders
WRITTEN ON: December. 1, 2015 Tuesday 6:07 PM
I know that I hurt you
I’m sorry for what i did
I never meant to lie to you
about all the things that I hid
I never meant to run away
whenever we got into a fight
I always came back because I loved you
and I wanted to make things right
I meant it when I said I wanted to be with you forever
I meant it when I promised to stand by your side through whatever
whenever we were apart
all I did was think of you
I thought of all the good times
as well as the bad times too
My heart belongs to you
you had me from the start
if I ever had to live without you
I think I’d fall apart
I’m really sorry I hurt you
I know I can’t take back what I did
I’ll do all I can to make up for it
and all the secrets that I hid
WRITTEN BY: Mandie Michelle Sanders
WRITTEN ON: March. 2, 2011 Wednesday 11:37 A.M.
I hate it when my parents fight
they have been doing it my whole life
Sometimes their arguments don't even make sense
I personally think they get off by fighting
If that is true
I don't understand why people do that
I hate fighting
The very idea of it
stresses me out to the point my stomach feels like
it is in flames
No one seems to care how much the drama stresses me out
How am I supposed to show my face for family fun
when I am dreading the social interaction
I don't want to be uncomfortable around my parents
yet I am sometimes
I could ignore how I feel
but that would cause me to emotionally shut down
Which in turn awakens the constant chaos that already corrupts my mind
I feel like I can't breathe now
WRITTEN BY: Mandie Michelle Sanders
WRITTEN ON: April. 6, 2016 Wednesday 2:33 AM
I am sick of people asking me
why I am choosing not to have *** again
until I am married
Why do I need to explain myself?
Why do I need to have a reason?
I do not want to be one of those girls
who sleeps with every guy she dates
I am tired of feeling like I am only good enough
to be with if I put out
There is more to me than just my body
My body is not an ingredient you need to add
in whatever half *** relationship you're trying to cook up
My body is not something you test out first
to see if it's actually good or not
I am a person
I am a human being with feelings
I am a woman who is smart
I am funny
I am creative
Don't you want to know who I am as a person?
Don't you want to know what makes me unique?
Why does it always have to be about my body?
I do not want to give myself to someone
who only wants me until someone better comes along
I want to be with someone who loves all of me
I want to be with someone who loves my mind
Who loves my weirdness
Who loves my honesty
and who loves my courage to be myself
I want a man who can feel good with me
without feeling the need to have me naked to do so
The man who can love all of me without hesitation
is the man that deserves to explore my body
He will respect it and still love it
despite all of the changes it will go through
over the years I am alive
WRITTEN BY: Mandie Michelle Sanders
WRITTEN ON: February. 15, 2016 Monday 9:37 PM
Every time I see you smile
my heart skips a beat
I smile like an idiot
my eyes began to shine
Every time we meet
Every time you laugh
I get butterflies in my stomach
I get goosebumps on my arms
my face turns red
and I can't think of a response
Every time you hold my hand
a shiver runs up my spine
I feel comfortable enough to put my head on your shoulder
close my eyes and thank God your mine
Every time you kiss me
I feel so safe and complete
I love the feeling of your body agaisnt me
as you sweep me off my feet
Every time you speak
the rest of the world goes away
all that matters is you and I
and it's like this everyday
Every time we say goodbye
I feel excitement knowing I'll see you tomorrow
I drive away feeling on top of the world
Every time I think about your smile.
WRITTEN BY: Mandie Michelle Sanders
WRITTEN ON: January. 10, 2014 Friday 9:49 P.M.
1.2k · May 2016
I Wish I Was Normal
I am so tired of being depressed
I don't want to complain to people
about how sad I get sometimes
They don't care
They have their own problems
They don't give a **** about mine
Sometimes it is impossible to leave the house
because the anxiety that comes from being sad
is too much for me to handle
I get so frustrated because it's bad enough I get so sad
to the point that I want to end my life
I hate walking around with the feeling like I am constantly being suffocated
When the sadness and anxiety get to be too much
I just want to give up on myself
I am so exhausted
Do you have any idea what it's like to fight something
that you cannot see?
The criticism from ordinary people with ordinary problems
are so mean
especially when those ordinary people are family members
I look into the mirror sometimes and I am just disgusted
I can see in my eyes all of the emotional ******* I carry
it is enough to make me physically sick
I just want to bury myself in some blankets
and never wake up
I can't even sleep because the stress of my anxiety
likes to keep me awake
I am so angry now
I do not want to ******* deal with this
I am tired
I feel like I am losing my mind
because my head hurts so much
I don't know what the **** to do
I just want to be normal
I want to be a normal woman
with normal emotions,
normal thoughts,
a normal sleep pattern,
normal self esteem,
normal everything!

I am so irritated that even the wind currently blowing outside
makes me want to shoot myself in the face
I can't tell anyone how I feel because they will worry
I don't want people to worry
I want people to tell me I will be okay
because right now I do not feel okay
I feel scared
I feel tired
and I don't know what to do
WRITTEN BY: Mandie Michelle Sanders
WRITTEN ON: April. 16, 2016 Saturday 8:14 AM
1.2k · Mar 2016
No Means No
Just because I walk around sometimes
in a nice dress showing off my legs
does not mean I am asking to get *****
Men with blue eyes are a turn on for me
It does not give me the right to take a blue eyed man
and force him to have *** with me
Women can be rapists too
Not just men
You are never allowed to put your hands on someone
without their permission
You do not have the right to force *** on anyone
I don't care how turned on you are
There are boundaries
There are lines you do not cross
NO MEANS NO
WRITTEN BY: Mandie Michelle Sanders
WRITTEN ON: February. 22, 2016 Monday 7:51 PM
I woke up feeling frustrated today
a part of me just exploded
I couldn't figure out what the hell was wrong with me
so I freaked out and cried
I wouldn't let anyone be there for me
I just wanted to be left alone
As I went for a walk for six hours straight
I didn't even pick up my phone
People get mad at me because they can't understand me
not even my Mother does
The way I act, the things I wear
I do just because
I don't go out to impress anyone
if anything people should impress me
I don't let others in so easily
so thank your lucky stars if you know me
I'm not hear to make things easier for others
I'm a challenge you can't stand
I'm intimidating for a reason
I don't let any guy just hold my hand
I woke up in a very ******* mood
it happens from time to time
If you can't handle me at my worst
then your not a good friend of mine.
WRITTEN BY: Mandie Michelle Sanders
WRITTEN ON: November. 2, 2011 Wednesday 7:33 A.M.
1.1k · Sep 2015
Titanic
They floated there in the water
freezing to their deaths
Their lips were ice and blue
there was frost on their breaths
The Titanic sank an hour ago
it took all that they had with it
Now all that they had were each other
neither one complained about it
Jack loved Rose since he saw her standing on Titanic's deck
he lost is breath as the wind blew through her red hair
She was a rich woman, he was a poor man
neither of them seemed to care
They would spend time together regardless of what other people thought
together they were free
As long as they were in each other's arms
they could be whoever they wanted to be
On their last night on the Titanic
their love was put to the test
Rose didn't want to be away from Jack
he was her prime example of how truly she was blessed
They held onto each other more than they ever did that night
up until the very end Jack reassured Rose that they would be alright
Once they were in the water
panic never hit their souls
Jack made sure they stayed together
he never let go of his beloved Rose
They found a part of a door
that was floating on the ocean's surface
The both of them together could not fit
yet they did not become hopeless
Jack let Rose lay on the door
so she wouldn't have to freeze
He stayed close to her side
while keeping afloat with his knees
They ignored the cold around them
by talking about their love
Jack told Rose how much he loved her
and how much he thanked the Lord above for her

As an hour or two passed
Jack and Rose grew very quiet
Almost everyone around them was dead
therefore it was silent
Rose looked up at the stars
and sang the song Jack had sung to her before
An icy tear slid down her cheek
as she thanked God for bringing him to her
Out of the corner of her eye
Rose saw a rescue boat up ahead
Her heart started thumping
not everyone was dead
She turned to Jack to let him know
but something shut her up
Jack's eyes were closed
he wasn't waking up
She called his name over and over
she told him there was a boat
She started crying when he didn't respond
she didn't want him to go
She grabbed his hand tightly
and cried against his nose
She knew that no matter what happened
she would always be his Rose
Knowing that he was gone
she began to cry her hardest
As she kissed his hand one last time
she said "I will never let go, I promise"
Her heart fell to pieces
she lost all emotion
She watched Jack slip away
deep into the ocean

Years passed since that night
Rose lived her life until she got too old
She never told anyone her Titanic story
she didn't think it was meant to be told
She spent her life out by the sea to be closer to Jack
not a day passed by where she didn't want him back
She finally told her story to her granddaughter and friends
when she went to sleep that night
She slipped away to heaven
to be with Jack again
WRITTEN BY: Mandie Michelle Sanders
WRITTEN ON: October. 4, 2011 Tuesday 8:45 AM
1.1k · Apr 2015
I Forgive You
I forgive you for the rumors you spread
I forgive you for cheating on me
I forgive you for criticizing my looks
I forgive you for cursing me with insecurities
I forgive you for choosing alcohol over me
I forgive you for the lies you told
I forgive you for all the sleepless nights
I forgive you for stealing my hope
I forgive you for turning my friends agaisnt me
I forgive you for comparing me to her
I forgive you for making me out to be a *****
I forgive you for using my pain agaisnt me
I forgive you for making me feel so low
I forgive you for the mean texts
I forgive you for stealing my property
I forgive you for using me for ***
I forgive you for the harsh words
I forgive you for being fake
I forgive myself for letting you have power over me
I forgive you for becoming the person you said you’d never be
WRITTEN BY: Mandie Michelle Sanders
WRITTEN ON: November. 13, 2014 Thursday 2:49 A.M.
1.1k · Aug 2015
Complicated Relationship
Everyone knows I want to be with you
but you choose to be with her
Everyone knows I can give you a better life
but you still choose to be with her
Everyone knows you're the reason for the smile on my face
but you're still convinced she is the one
Everyone knows you're in love with me
but you're not telling anyone
I can do all I can to make you mine
but you will still walk away
You say you want to be with her
yet you **** me everyday
I get that she is pregnant with your baby
but that is no reason to stay stuck
You deserve to be happy
but with her your life will ****
You say you're in love with both of us
I say you're confused
You need to think about what you want
and eventually choose
If you choose her I can't be around
my feelings for you cannot handle that
If you choose me you will never be miserable
I can promise you that
WRITTEN BY: Mandie Michelle Sanders
WRITTEN ON: December. 24, 2011 Saturday 4:40 P.M.
1.1k · Dec 2015
She Needed A Hero
She is not a *****
She is not heartless
She is not selfish
She is not full of herself
She is exhausted
She is worn out
She is done
She is tired of not being heard
She is tired of not being seen
She is tired of trying to be good enough
She is tired of having to take care of everything
She is tired of the late nights staying up worried about her loved ones
She is tried of disappearing and no one noticing her absence
She is tired of being taking advantage of
She is tired of giving advice yet when she needs advice no one seems to be around
She is tired of being disrespected
She is tired of being judged when she needs to be understood
She is tired of holding back because no one wants to hear about her problems
She is tired of being pressured into doing things she doesn't want to do
She is tired of being terrified to let people in
yet no one is giving her a reason to let her fear of vulnerability go
She is tired of working and not getting anywhere
She is tired of encouraging others but when she needs motivation
it's like she doesn't exist
She is tired of her kindness being walked all over
She is tired pushing forward just to be pushed back
She is tired of being everyONE'S HERO
SHE IS TIRED OF ALWAYS BEING THERE JUST TO BE LEFT BEHIND
SHE IS TIRED OF BEING TREATED LIKE SHE DOESN'T MATTER
SHE DOES MATTER
SHE IS A PERSON
SHE IS A GOOD PERSON
SHE TRIES SO HARD TO MAKE EVERYONE HAPPY BECAUSE SHE KNOWS WHAT IT'S LIKE TO BE MISERABLE
SHE KNOWS WHAT IT'S LIKE TO BE WALKED ALL OVER LIKE A BEAT UP PIECE OF CARPET
SHE PUTS OTHERS FIRST ALWAYS AND SHE GETS CHOSEN LAST
SHE IS TIRED OF IT
TIRED OF NOT GETTING WHAT SHE NEEDS
SHE NEEDS SOMEONE TO HOLD HER HAND FROM TIME TO TIME
SHE NEEDS TO HAVE A SHOULDER TO CRY ON
SHE NEEDS TO BE SEEN, TO BE HEARD, TO BE APPRECIATED
SHE IS A HUMAN BEING WHO NEEDS A HERO TOO
SHE IS...remarkable
Extraordinary
Beautiful
Talented
She is a rare person to find
She is everyone's hero but sometimes even hero's need help sometimes
Even hero's have bad days and just need someone to remind them of their greatness
She needed a hero
but now it's too late...
WRITTEN BY: Mandie Michelle Sanders
WRITTEN ON: December. 26, 2015 Saturday 9:17 PM
If singing a song would make your tears go away
I would sing you every song I know
If telling you stories makes you laugh
I would talk until I couldn't speak anymore
If the sound of my voice saying your name gives you butterflies
I would say your name over and over again
If you were falling apart at three in the morning
I would walk over and let you cry as I held your hand
If you said you were ugly
I would go on for hours telling you how handsome you are to me
If you wanted to dance but there was no music
I would dance with you to the sound of your heartbeat
If you ever felt worthless I would tell you all the reasons why you are amazing
If you were feeling restless I would take you out so we could do something crazy
If I could I would take your broken heart, fix it and keep it with me
I would prove to you how much I love you so you could learn to trust me
I would carry your heart everywhere with me
I would do what I could to keep it safe
I wouldn't give any other girl a chance to tear it up
I wouldn't leave it in a random place
If we fought from time to time
I wouldn't stop loving you if I tried
You would always be on my mind
I would love you until the day I die
I would do anything to see you smile
I would go to hell and back for you without any fear
I would prove to you I am not like most girls
I am faithful and honest
as long as you want me to stay I won't be going anywhere
WRITTEN BY: Mandie Michelle Sanders
WRITTEN ON: January. 2, 2014 Thursday 7:09 AM
Who are you to determine who is ugly and who is pretty?
We are all beautiful and handsome.
It's how we carry ourselves as people
and what we choose to put out into the world that should matter.


There is a group on Facebook that I was added to called "No Ugly People Allowed." I denied the invitation because I think it's wrong to judge people based on how they look.
WRITTEN BY: Mandie Michelle Sanders
WRITTEN ON: March. 11, 2016 Friday 5:19 PM
1.0k · May 2015
Sister Rivalry
My sister has always been the pretty one, she has always been the guys want and she has always been skinnier than me, That doesn't mean I'm fat, it doesn't mean no guy will ever want me and it doesn't mean I'm ugly. It just means that my sister and I are beautiful in our own way, we are different and the men we end up spending our lives with will love us for our hearts, not the way we look. Our hearts are amazing, our looks are just a bonus.
Growing up I was always jealous of my baby sister. She weighed 92 pounds growing up while I was in the 150's. She was popular in High School and I was the loser. She was great at everything while I seemed to **** at everything. I hated her. I hated myself and I wanted to be her. Growing up you find out what makes you so unique and I found that I write which is something she doesn't do. One night my sister and I had a talk and she began telling me how she wish she had my *****, my hour glass figure and sense of humor. I told her how I wished I looked like her. I had no idea that over the years all the things I hated about myself she wanted and loved and vice versa. We get compared a lot based on our looks when there is so much more to us. After that conversation we shared I made a promise to myself to appreciate the features I have and to stop comparing myself to someone who is just like me, maybe not look wise but personality wise. I'm learning to live in my own skin. I learning to love me.
1.0k · Mar 2016
May I Write A Book About You
May I write a book about you?
I want to write chapters about how your smile
calms all of the piercing voices in my head
I want to put into words how the feeling of your hand in mine
calms all of the storms that cause chaos within my chest
I want to write you letters
telling you how you are the best thing that ever happened to me
I want to tell you so badly how much I love you
I love you so much but I am afraid to let myself tell you
because my love for you is so overwhelming
I don't think I can handle it
Sometimes I lay in bed and I feel like I am suffocating
under all of the ******* that my depression throws at me
but you are like the sky after a rainy day
You are so handsome
You are so beautiful
It's enough to make me sick because I can't wrap my head
around how someone so perfect can exist in a world like this
I can't accept the fact that you can have anyone you want
yet you chose me
I can still taste our first kiss on my lips
That kiss brought back to life all of the parts of me I thought died
I was a **** you turned into a flower
You made me able to love again
God! What a beautiful gift to be able to love someone so deeply
So I ask again may I write a book about you?
I want to write chapters on how you came into my life
and changed my world in the most magnificent way


To the one I will one day write a book about, I can't wait to meet you. Whoever you are...
WRITTEN BY: Mandie Michelle Sanders
WRITTEN ON: March. 8, 2016 Tuesday 3:03 AM
We have one hour to spend together before you leave
let's make this hour worthwhile
Let's say all of the things we used to be afraid to say
without paying attention to the clock's ticking dials
Let's lie in each other's arms
reminiscing about the day we met
Let's be open and vulnerable until we cry
not giving a **** if our faces get wet
Let's hold each other close until the moment we say goodbye
comes to destroy our lives
If you only had one more hour to spend with the one you love
how would you spend your time?
WRITTEN BY: Mandie Michelle Sanders
WRITTEN ON: February. 22, 2016 Monday 8:08 PM
999 · Sep 2015
A Week With My Best Friend
For at least a week my Mom kicked me out
so I stayed with my very best guy friend
I am glad I decided to go home with him
I had so much fun hanging out with him
He listened to me when I was upset
I had a lot of things on my chest
When I was tired he would hold me in his arms
as we both let our minds rest
All I had with me were my clothes
and clothes was all I needed
All we did was lay around, watch movies to catch up on sleep and we succeeded
I really liked Saturday night
when we baby sat a couple of bad seeds
We sat at the table barking orders
as he taught me how to play speed
We talked about him and his girlfriend
we stayed up late watching Nick @ Nite
He would sit outside with me as I smoked
while the moon shone so bright
The best part about my stay
was having him to myself
I learned he will always be there for me
I would never find him in anyone else
I also realized how blessed I am
to have a great friend like him
I know he will always stick by my side
and for that I will always cherish him
WRITTEN BY: Mandie Michelle Sanders
WRITTEN ON: August. 9, 2011 Tuesday 1:28 PM
I’m sitting here on the floor watching you sleep

as you snore away in the night

Sometimes I just lay and listen to you breathe

as I hold you agaisnt me real tight

It’s not that I’m worried about you

I just like to hear you breathe

On good days it helps put me to sleep

on bad days it soothes me

You look so comfortable in our bed

as if it’s where you belong

and on some nights I like to lay on your chest

as your heartbeat plays the perfect song

You look so happy in your sleep

makes me wonder what your dreaming

Sometimes I get jealous of you

because I’m wide awake and your sleeping

I can watch you sleep forever

I can sit for hours and stroke your hair

I can be up for hours just holding you

I could be exhausted but I wouldn’t care

I don’t mind watching you for hours

it’s good to see you at peace

Your breathing is what keeps me entertained

on sleepless nights like these
WRITTEN BY: Mandie Michelle Sanders

WRITTEN ON: December. 21, 2012 Friday 4:51 a.m.
I think it's amazing how much time has passed
and yet nothing has changed
Sure we may be leading different lives
yet our feelings for each other are the same
You went to college in Texas
I stayed here in Arizona with my poetry
We went two years without talking
and still that hasn't changed anything
We still go swimming in the middle of the night in your pool
and kiss under the oak tree in your backyard
We go for ice cream at Sonic
as we sit watching the stars
We still call each other by our nicknames
then laugh about nothing for hours
We stay up late watching zombie movies
only to become too terrified to sleep afterwards
You have been my best guy friend since freshman year of high school
You used to be like a brother to me
Now when I look at you
I describe you as my everything
I don't know why I never noticed it before
but I notice it now
I have liked you for a really long time
how about we give love a shot?
WRITTEN BY: Mandie Michelle Sanders
WRITTEN ON: February. 11, 2016 Thursday 2:07 AM
950 · Jul 2016
Worst Breakup Ever
To quit writing would
be like going through a breakup
I could never recover from.
WRITTEN BY: Mandie Michelle Sanders
WRITTEN ON: May. 30, 2016 Monday 4:10 PM
924 · Nov 2015
My Happy Tears
I'm not crying because I am sad.
Sometimes the love I carry and receive from others is so overwhelming
that my body needs a way to release it somehow.
My body chose tears.
Their happy tears.
WRITTEN BY: Mandie Michelle Sanders
WRITTEN ON: November 26, 2015 Thursday 1:53 AM Thanksgiving Day
879 · Mar 2016
Self Harm Awareness Day
Today is Self-Harm Awareness Day.
Wear orange to show your support.
To Self Harm survivors thank you for being a constant light
in a world that can be so dark.
To those currently struggling with Self Harm
I want you to know that you are more
than just the cuts and scars on your arms.
You are a warrior
and you have so many people including myself
cheering you on.
You will get through this struggle.
I believe in you.
You are greatness who will one day change the world.
Stay strong!
Keep fighting!
You got this!
I love you!
Sending you a million hugs and more!
WRITTEN BY: Mandie Michelle Sanders
WRITTEN ON: March. 1, 2016 Tuesday 11:29 AM
877 · Oct 2015
Books
Reading to me is like being in a relationship. You invest your time getting to know characters like you do getting to know someone. There are no pictures in novels so you fall in love with a characters personality and heart instead of their looks which I think a lot of people don't do in the real world anymore. You go on adventures, you feel things and parts of you that you thought died are brought back to life with one simple quote, phrase or line. The characters may be fictional but the things the characters go through sometimes are actual things people go through. It's nice to have places and people to lean on when reality gets to be a little too much. The best part is that the characters never leave. If you miss them, just open the book and there they are. People complain that reading takes too much time. Books are like life. You have to take it one chapter at a time because if you move too fast, you will miss the most important moments. Life already moves too quickly. It's nice to be able to pick up a book, take your time and catch your breath.
WRITTEN BY: Mandie Michelle Sanders
WRITTEN ON: October. 6, 2015 Tuesday 2:24 AM
I am someone who loves to believe in impossible things.
Thank you to those for loving that part of my personality
and bringing me to life
instead of trying to bury me alive with hate.
WRITTEN BY: Mandie Michelle Sanders
WRITTEN ON: April. 11, 2016 Tuesday 5:15 AM
851 · Jan 2016
Ambivalent
He confessed to me that he wants to commit suicide
I told him that he shouldn't do that
He said he was tired of fighting this constant battle known as depression
I told him I understood the battle he was fighting
He began to tell me how exhausted he was
He is tired of the therapy, the medication, the hoping that things will get better
He admitted to accepting the fact that his depression will never go away
He understands that it is a part of him and that there is no cure for it
He also admitted that he gets angry when people get mad at him for feeling this way because they think he's selfish but then again they are not in his shoes so they can't understand what he's going through
He's right
When you're tired,  you're tired
A person can only take so much
It's hard fighting something that can't be seen physically
You can try to explain in every way possible but you can never truly understand it unless you live through it
I don't care how long you went to college for
I don't care how many people you know with the same problem
IT IS NOT THE SAME
YOU HAVE TO LIVE IT
I am against suicide but who am I to deny someone of wanting peace
I can only do so much
I think locking someone away is cruel
I think it makes people worse when they are forced to live with something they don't want to live with but at the same time I think it's important to keep fighting
I admitted to him that I think his decision to die was stupid
I also admitted that I didn't like seeing him in so much emotional pain
It is selfish to **** yourself because it hurts so many people but it's also selfish to want to see someone suffer so much just so you don't have to lose them
He told me his awful secret of wanting to die
I told him my opinion
As messed up as this subject is a person will do what they want to do
I confessed to him that I don't support his decision but if he wants to go then to go
I told him to not tell me when he was going to do it
I also told him that I was going to tell someone his plans and that even though I was breaking a trust I couldn't live with myself if I didn't do anything to stop him
Does it make me a bad person for understanding his reason for his plans?
Does it make me a horrible person to want him to stay and suffer when he has tried everything to get better?
Suicide is a topic so painful it's enough to devastate a person for the rest of their life
It's a topic as fragile as abortion, ****, war and other devastating topics that shake a person's world

I got a phone call at 4:13 this morning from his mother telling me he had killed himself
I fell apart with the realization I will never speak to my best friend again
I was also relieved to know he was not in any more pain
Does that make me a horrible person?
WRITTEN BY: Mandie Michelle Sanders
WRITTEN ON: January. 29, 2016 Friday 11:09 PM
849 · Dec 2015
That's Just Life
The ones you love the most
will break your heart once or twice
It's not because their evil
their human, they will mess up sometimes
The one you give your heart to
will disappoint you one day
It's not because they don't love you
their fighting demons that won't ever go away
The people you call your friends
will make mistakes that will upset you
It's not because they don't care about your friendship
it's just what they have to do
The sun won't always shine
sometimes it will rain
It doesn't mean something bad will happen
it's God's way of cleansing your pain
Your parents who you thought were perfect
may overstep their boundaries by telling you what to do
It's not because they doubt you
it's their way of saying that they care about you
The God you lean on 24/7
will cause you to hit rock bottom
It's not because he deserted you
it's the only way you will grow
WRITTEN BY: Mandie Michelle Sanders
WRITTEN ON: November. 10, 2015 Tuesday 10:00 AM
You are going away for a year
I am going to miss you so much
I am going to miss your smile, your laughter, your voice
I am going to miss the sparks that fly when our lips touch
I am going to miss your Packers cap
your skinny jeans and flip flops
I am going to miss our showers, our late night cigarette runs
and the hugs that make my heart stop
I am going to miss the way you make me giggle
whenever I am having a bad day
I am going to miss the way you say my name
you make it sound so beautiful in every way
I am going to miss your silly jokes
and cuddling with you in bed
I am going to miss hearing you talk in your sleep
about things I supposedly said
I am going to miss you taking me driving
I am going to miss being called "Babe"
I am going to miss the sparkle in your eyes because your so happy
I am going to miss your heart the most
it is so strong and so pure
I am going to miss you so much honey
Please come back to me
I love you
WRITTEN BY: Mandie Michelle Sanders
WRITTEN ON: June 21, 2013 Friday 8:38 PM
819 · May 2015
Actions Can Be Deceiving
That girl is such a ****
she has *** with different guys
she swears she’s an innocent angel
but all she does is lie
She’s constantly talking **** about someone
then she cries when karma hits
she thinks the world revolves around her
if she doesn’t get her way she will throw a fit
She’s two faced, she’s a hypocrite
all of her friends say so
her parents give her what she wants
they don’t know how to say no
She cheats on every boyfriend she has
she’s always having pregnancy scares
she uses people, she ruins lives
and she doesn’t even care
Girls like this end up alone
it’s very sad to see
they think they need attention to survive
they can’t be the best that they should be
Girls like this act tough
but inside their breaking down
underneath those pretty little smiles
are girls who secretly wear frowns
Girls like this are beautiful
they need a guy to believe that fact
they act like their comfortable with themselves
but deep down they think their fat
Girls like this need a hug
they need a friend who will always stay
if you be the bigger person and just be nice to them
it may change their life one day
WRITTEN BY: Mandie Michelle Sanders
WRITTEN ON: March. 25, 2011 Friday 10:17 A.M.
797 · Aug 2016
Wine, Coffee, Poetry
Writing gets way more personal
Imagination moves at full speed
No anxiety
Every part of my body feels like it is in a jacuzzi

Caramel Macchiato flavor
Overwhelming feelings are at a standstill
Family is more tolerable
Friends are more entertaining
Early mornings are the best time to be outside
Enjoying the sunrise

Problems find solutions
Off days turn out to be the biggest blessings
Eerie thoughts are heard
Time does not exist
Raw and unfiltered
You learn a little more about yourself with each poem that you write
WRITTEN BY: Mandie Michelle Sanders
WRITTEN ON: June. 18, 2016 Saturday 7:22 AM
795 · Sep 2016
Warrior Or Victim
There is a reason we go through the things that we do
There is a reason why we meet the people we meet
Whether we understand those reasons or not
in the end they shape us into who we are
When things go to **** we have two options
We can be victims
or we can be warriors
Who are you going to be?
WRITTEN BY: Mandie Michelle Sanders
WRITTEN ON: June 18, 2016 Saturday 8:55 AM
779 · Jun 2016
Loving Someone With Anxiety
I don't mind that you have a mental illness
It doesn't bother me that you have to hold on tight to my hands
whenever you feel like you are drowning
It doesn't annoy me that we can't go to certain places for dates
because your stomach ties in knots unexpectedly
It doesn't irritate me that you get stressed out
when it's really hot outside
It doesn't make me mad when you have to miss work
because anxiety makes you physically sick
Your anxiety doesn't make me love you any less
it's the opposite actually
I am in love with you deeply
I don't care that you have anxiety
Hold onto me for as long as you need to
I don't mind
We don't have to go anywhere special
as long as you are okay then I am just fine
I hate the heat too
so let's be stressed together
I am here for the long haul
your anxiety does not scare me
WRITTEN BY: Mandie Michelle Sanders
WRITTEN ON: May. 4, 2016 Wednesday 11:27 PM
777 · Mar 2016
No More Silence
I have been told multiple times that I talk about my mental health issues way too much. I have been accused of sharing my story to gain attention. I have been accused of using my past as a way to get people to feel sorry for me. However, that could not be further from the truth. I talk about my mental health issues openly because I know what it's like to be alone and suffer in silence. I do it for the ones who are struggling and who do not have a voice out of fear of being told to shut up. I am not the one that needs attention. The topic of mental health issues are what needs attention. I do not need anyone feeling sorry for me. I don't feel sorry for me. Everyone goes through some kind of hell in their lives  and my battle with mental health is my hell. The ones who complain about me speaking out are always the ones who get off on telling people to be quiet. They are the kind of people who are ignorant and are so quick to judge issues they know nothing about. I refuse to be silenced. I refuse to let others who are in my shoes to be silenced. I refuse to let negative people get to me. I spent so long living in silence as well as many others trying to cover up the mental health issues in our world today because it makes people uncomfortable. It's time to speak up. It's time to be educated on these issues. It's time to make a difference so we can save more lives.
WRITTEN BY: Mandie Michelle Sanders
WRITTEN ON: March. 1, 2016 Tuesday 12:09 PM
776 · Jun 2015
Child Abuse
Little girl, little girl please don't cry
it's not your fault that you want to die
I know that he's mean to you, he yells all the time
he does it so much that his words seem to rhyme
Little girl, little girl please don't hide
it's not your fault you want to commit suicide
I know that they hurt all the bruises he leaves
he hits you so much when he tells you he loves you, you can't believe
Little girl, little girl please don't run
it can't rain forever, there really is a sun
I know that it's cold when he forces you to his room
when you refuse to go he hits you with a broom
Little girl, little girl please don't be afraid
Jesus will help you and take you away someday
I know that your weak so much you can't speak
one day you will be happy and walking on your feet
Little girl, little girl please don't cry
it's not your fault your not ready to say goodbye
I know that he scares you when he throws you on the floor
Jesus is taking you home now
you won't have to suffer anymore.
WRITTEN BY: Mandie Michelle Sanders
WRITTEN ON: July. 5, 2009 4:18 A.M.

Being a victim of child abuse I know all too well what it's like to get beaten by someone you once trusted. Children get abused everyday and it's time we talked about the issue instead of ignoring it. No child deserves to be treated like that. I'm taking a stand to saying NO MORE.
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