some days it feels as
if the world is shaking and not me,
that something powerful is
chewing across the fabric of the universe
but then i convulse back into
reality and it is me,
shaking and trembling
and it is you,
chewing across the fabric of my
soul
other days, it hits me like a
wave from the ocean
and i am plunged into the depths of the sea
hurling with the waves so fervently
that my stomach ties into
a hundred thousand knots
you devour me as
you drown my voice
and it is hopeless, so hopeless untangling
myself from you
it is hopeless, so hopeless
as you take so much from me
and i let you
i-i-i let you
**i let you win every single time
i don't write about my anxiety a lot but this past year, it is all i have felt