i am so tired
of dying from the same pain
o v e r and
    over again

you  never leave my
                                    

                          ­                    mind

every thought of you
rises in me like a new dawn
every memory stains my eyes
with tears that linger like the stars  
in plain daylight

your love has buried me
so     deeply within      myself,

i rise and you rise within   me
like a lost shadow clinging to the side of the   moon

some days it feels as
if the world is shaking and not me,
that something powerful is
chewing across the fabric of the universe

but then i convulse back into
reality and it is me,
shaking and trembling
and it is you,
chewing across the fabric of my
soul

other days, it hits me like a
wave from the ocean
and i am plunged into the depths of the sea
hurling with the waves so fervently
that my stomach ties into
a hundred thousand knots

you devour me as
you drown my voice
and it is hopeless, so hopeless untangling
myself from you

it is hopeless, so hopeless
as you take so much from me

and i let you
i-i-i let you
**i let you win every single time

I am the weeds growing between the cracks in the concrete.
A beautiful marigold, reminding others of sunshine
But I am still deadly, filled with bitter dandelion milk.

                                       No matter how pretty.
                                                  I am still,
                                                      Just
                                                        A
                                                    ****.

I killed your hopes and dreams
but... How?
I am the very thing that makes them come true.
I fly peoples wishes in the wind.

                                     No matter how magical.
                                                  I am still,
                                                     Just
                                                       A
                                                    ****.

I come back after every **** spray that decays me down to a black, ashy, flower imprint on the sidewalk.
I sprout back with more sunny flowers and more wish seeds.
I have rooted myself.

                                     No matter what you do
                                               I will always
                                                     Grow.
                        
                                 Your honey-colored nightmare.