i could drive
to your apartment
but its

empty

like my head
unlike my heart
like my hands
desperately

grasping

for something

that i am

unsure of

in continuation

its been a while
since i was
hospitalized

three years ago
i nervously waited
for my verdict
at 2 AM

so when he called me
tonight
with a voice as tired
as someone who had finally
given up

i knew exactly
what was happening

and i relived
my death wishes
through his soft,
defeated words

"i love you
more
than they
loved you"

but do you
love her better?

she
bent
to your
will
until
she snapped

now
do not
blame her
for
making you bleed
from the wounds
caused by her
splintering
shards

hyper awareness

fingertips crackle with
electricity

my spine
is a lightning rod

eagerly consuming
every stroke of your fingers

body thrumming
with electricity

mind power
shifting into
maximum overdrive

they say that good things
come with time

but with you
time is an illusion
and every day spent
building up to this point
means nothing

because all i know
in this moment
is you
standing before me