dark surroundings engulf me
dry sand all around
slightly chilly air
cool breeze blowing

creepy crawlers sneak about
scratchy blankets rub my legs
damp socks coat my feet
loose t-shirt riding up near my waist

millions of stars above me
crescent moon calls out to me
birds mock each other
salty smell overwhelms my senses

waves crashing on the shore
mist sprinkling my face
soft sand falls through my fingers
wind wisps my hair into my eyes

sun rising in the distance
colors reflect on the moving sea
dew blankets everything it touches
I wait for the dark surroundings to engulf me again

My fingers are starting to twitch
My heart starts to race
I need a comforter
Something must fill this space

I reach for my arm
I know it will get hurt
Rubbing my skin between my fingers
Better stop before it gets worse

I'm begging for your sleeve
The fabric will calm me
It rubs together just right
That is the key

I guess it's not just the fabric
It might be also be you
The warmth of your skin
Calm my mind and heart too

Lean closer now
Let me do what I do
Smile when I reach out
I'm a comfort to you too

we may not always agree
but you have affected my life
every single day
I couldn't wait to go see you
I sat in the very front row
right in front of your desk
we talked for a whole hour
about lessons and life
for four straight years
you were a steady constant
all ten of us were
so contently discussing
not just about Spanish
not just about life
you are forever a part
of my growth
I miss your class
every single day
you made high school less awful
thank you for four amazing years
Senorita Hopper

“I want you to kiss me”
and to my surprise he did
one second I’m giggling
and the next I’m kissing him
“this doesn’t feel real”
I don’t know if that was
because of the tequila
or because I was  
kissing my best friend
either way, we were both breathless
I just wanted to get closer
I just wanted to kiss him more
experience him as he did the same
we were intwined for what felt like hours
I couldn’t believe myself when
I was cuddled in his arms
I kissed his jaw
I had been longing to do that
but it was actually happening
he gently played with my fingers
and lazily dragged his finger tips
up and down my side
“I knew you wanted to get cuddly tonight”
embarrassed that he could see right through me
I buried my face in his chest
“I wish you could’ve had the courage
to do this sober, Linsey”
staring into his deep brown eyes
I managed to say seriously
“I will kiss you when I’m sober. I promise.”
he nodded in agreement
beginning to kiss me again
his hand in my hair
the other trailing up my back
my hand on his jaw
feeling the stubble on his cheek
his tongue and mine
finding each other in the dark
in one fluid motion
he had squeezed me tighter
and laid me on my back
our bodies pressed against each other
he started on my neck
goosebumps lined every part of me
he chuckled, his warm breath hitting my skin
we pulled away and
just grinned at each other
knowing that we had done something
we couldn’t take back
but who would want to?

I made a mistake
I leaned in too close
His scent assaulted me
When it hit my nose

I realize with regret
That he is still a comfort
I can make that change
But it will take much effort

Every whiff I inhale
Makes my breath catch
Sadness over takes me
The feelings begin to hatch

My heart is racing
And my eyes lose focus
I think I’m having anxiety
Over the thing that used to be us

My heart isn’t broken
Like the heart of a lover
It’s broken because of
A friendship we lost with each other

a steal really
so much for so little
an amazing treasure
among lifeless others

chosen for its beauty
threads perfectly imperfect
worn and stretched
a comfort fit

holding a story unique
to a previous owner
taking it for my own
history in my hands

once home with me
it becomes new
beginning a fresh life
with a stolen history

ok.
I will be
ok.
we can be
ok.
please don’t speak,
ok?
don’t tempt me,
ok?

without you,
I will be
ok.

I took a shower
I put on jeans
I got off campus
I ate two meals
I spent a few hours in a public place
I talked to someone with my voice and not over text
I wrote
I studied
I feel okay
Today was a victory
A small victory

as I look at you
I enjoy my view
I can’t help but wonder
what you’re thinking

are you thinking of me
cause I want you to be
I think of you
far too often

who do you care for
is it me anymore
I can’t help but wonder
how you see me

little baby girl or boy
you already bring me so much joy
I can't wait for you to get here
I'm waiting patiently my dear
I'm anxious to see your smile
yet I still have to wait a while
I'm excited to see who you'll be
I hope you're a little like me
my sweet niece or nephew
what will you grow up to do?
I pray that you will be strong
and know that sometimes you will be wrong
understand I'll always be here for you
you can talk to me whenever you want to
I'll give you unconditional love
like the kind you receive from above
right now, you're just a little baby
from now on, I'll love you daily
your mom and dad
are bound to make you mad
just know I'll be here
a phone call away when I'm not near
you can call me Aunt Boo
if that's what you want to do
call me that and I'll do the same
I promise to give you a silly nickname
"oh, the places you'll go"
I'll see you soon mi sobrino