liakey

liakey Jan 2021

?

absent from my life,
but dancing forever in my mind.

preserved perfectly-
idealized and beautified,
immortal, god-like.

forever present,
eternally absent.

hatefully loving,
blissfully painful.

confusing and cloudy
I’m lost inside
my own mind

wanting to let go,
but holding on too tight

liakey Nov 2020

five miles

turn up the stereo, an old song plays;
I can’t help but smile while i feel the warmth run down my face.

confused how to feel,
was it all in my mind?

I can’t understand;
I no longer bother to try.

every night, every moment I spent;
giving my heart,
and a soft place for your’s to rest.

sacrifice here and sacrifice there;
there was no length that i would not have went.

vulnerability and trust- I surrendered to you;
yet, resentment and hatred are now what ensue.

the hate in my heart, too much to bear.
I want to let go, but I’m so ******* scared.

I have to move on; brighter days ahead.

so here’s my final “*******” because I’ll never forget: a mere five miles, from you, was too much to ask.

one last glimpse in the rear view;
I’m never turning back.

#fuckyou

liakey Aug 2020

door

i opened the door,
yet another time,
welcoming you back into my life.

such warmth at first;
you provided me with light on the darkest nights.

days pass, weeks become months;
the warmth of the summer fades away,
overtaken by coldness now, so i beg you to stay.

weak and pathetic, yet again, i’m nothing to you;
not that i really care;
i find comfort in the familiarity of this barren place, too.

i’d do anything to keep you from leaving;
i don’t understand why you come back,
if this is how it always ends up being..?

begging for immunity,
i’m granted none.
yet again infected,
i close my eyes so i don’t have to watch as you run.

stuck here, far from home;
in this place you left me..

i’m all alone.

i have no choice:
i slammed the door, one final time;
changed the locks; anything to keep you from ever stopping by;
so help me god, grant me the strength, to put back together this mess that remains inside.

#door #lock #alone #broken #empty #lost #goodbye #depressed #love #heartbreak

liakey Apr 2020

numb

numbness falls over me;
like a thick wool blanket protecting me from the cold of a dark, winter night

insulated and warm,
my feelings fade away.
yet the coldness surrounding me remains,
constantly inviting me to play.

I wonder how long this numbing will last?
when will the sun rise again and another empty night like this will have fully passed?

returning with the day is the pain of this freezing terrain,
reminding me just how little from the darkness I’ve really strayed;
I know this is only a temporary wait to sustain.

#numb #numbness #pain #sad #temporary #fixme #saveme #hell

liakey Apr 2020

label

give me a number,
the appropriate label,
and compare me to the rest.

set me aside for a rainy day when you’ve exhausted through your list.

lets face it,
i’m just another: nothing more, nothing less.

everything i am to you
is that which you can see.

you simplify me down
to something for your frail mind read.

sometimes I wonder if this feeling is the voice of my own perceived inadequacy?
will someone ever really just love me for me?

#love #lovemeforme #loveme #enough #sad #empty #eyes #vision #shallow

liakey Apr 2020

feather

i am so weak.

like a feather dancing in the wind,
flowing freely with the breeze.

i need you to save me, to lead me,
to guide the winds that carry me;
you do so with such ease.

although the leaves around me may rustle,
there is nothing you do not see.

you show me the direction,
i surrender to you;
at last, I am free.

#free #feather #breeze #wind #god #love

liakey Mar 2020

free

i am nothing without you;
outside of you, there is no “me.”

i am your creation,
yet i wonder if i am just another sheep?

do you look down onto me with anger, feeling defeat?
are you glad that with your very hand, you gave me life to breathe?

without you i am so weak;
your salvation and grace are all that in this life i shall ultimately seek.

elevated from desperation,
you take my pain and craft it so beautifully.

you take my heavy heart, and with your love you set me free;
you wipe away all impurities that formerly made my heart and soul unclean.

lead me to your light, oh lord,
you are all that i need.

#god #jesus #saved #free #clean #salvation #grace #love #hope #charity