i miss the days when i was happy.
i miss the days when people cared about my well-being.
i miss the days when i could confidently say
“i love myself”
in the mirror each day.
but now there’s only nothing.
the numbness has rooted itself into my mind,
slowly leeching away a small part of me each day.
the friends i had have given up
on trying to cheer me up
after trying and failing
day
after
day.
i walk to class with my headphones in,
some radio station playing,
but no sound is able to penetrate past
the walls i have built
to keep myself safe
because you left.

-l.s.

“pinky promise?” i ask him desperately.
“of course,” he replies, distantly.
it didn’t take him long to break that promise.

-l.s.

i will sleep to come,
yearning for that soft black wave
to take me from this world
and into my own.

-l.s.

no birds.
no wispy feathers high in the sky.
only layered smudges of ashen clouds
with hints of deep cyan
as far as the eye can see,
the only pure light
sourced from the few rays of sunshine
filtering through,
setting the world on fire.

-l.s.

laying on my back
in that field,
the unending expanse so close
to my touch.
i reach up
and attempt to graze a star
with my fingertip,
but instead only emptiness
reaches me,
the cool nighttime air
swirling around my hand.
my arm lowers to my side again
and my sight flows
over the stars,
like scattered moondust
in the inky sky.
as they twinkle their way
into my soul,
into my being,
i notice
a solitary wisp of cloud
lingering before the moon,
dulling its details
but never its glow.
crickets chirp around me,
fireflies blink
and fade in and out of view,
dancing just above the grass.
the air is damp
and i am vaguely aware
of the water droplets
seeping through my blanket
and into my clothes.
i swear
i can almost see the lines
connecting each star
to form constellations.
i sigh,
stand up,
roll my blanket,
and make a promise to the night.

i will return.

-l.s.

walking through the forest
a chill in the breeze
inhaling the clear air
breathing with such ease

leaves turning gold, amber
autumn settling in
season of moonlit mist
set under my skin

eventually it ends
crystal flakes drifting lightly
carried by a winter gust
snow reflecting brightly

winter’s grip holds so strong
will it ever cease?
i wish for days of autumn
and winter’s release

-l.s.

a twig snaps beneath my shoe,
the sudden sound shattering the calm atmosphere.
sunlight dapples over my skin,
rippling across my clothes,
pooling in my cupped hands
as if i were holding it.
delicate leaves rustle overhead,
my attention to the emerald glow above only broken
by the hum of a bumblebee
buzzing its way to yet another flower.
trees, seemingly protective,
surround me,
their trunks a shelter for such a variety of creatures.
sweet birdsong echoes above.
a woodpecker taps a home somewhere to my left.
a chipmunk skitters across my path
and into the still ferns,
causing them to shudder.
the scent of soil, of leaves, of nature, floods me.
i wonder about the world,
about the mountains and about the sea.
about my friends, my family,
about strangers with lives
just as complex and unknowing as my own.
i ponder myself, my life,
where will i go?
what will i do?
will it all be worth it?

-l.s.