“You can either live logically or magically. It is your choice.”
~Sadhguru

You are spirit and
magic rains down
around you
like the music
that surrounds you
note after note

I am the Sun waning
The anti-******
The subtle release
from a gripping hug
forming into
The impregnated void
of possibility

I am entropy
slowly collapsing
into the formless
darkness of chaos
rearranging my cells
into something new and
something made
of stardust

I think about what your bones
will speak
once you have left your body
I mean the soul you
the real you
What will you leave behind
will you have left behind
your unkindness
or those things
you say
when you think
no one is listening
someone is
always listening
so be careful of what
you speak
I hear them
and the laughter they leave
and genuinely hope
it's not about me

These are my crone days
made my way towards
a sweeter death
I can always feel his chill
kiss my dark skin
tried to shed my youth unhurried
I peeled off all the layers
that were remnants of a falsity
that didn't serve me
I'm almost at the core
finding out the old pain
doesn't live here anymore

Pain is red revenge
blood clotting grudge
swollen deep into the
cut that isn't you
while
healing is blue bliss
cool fluid forgiveness
soul soothing freedom
that is all the time you

it is not ours to grasp
and hold in monumental panic
for what is ours is unseen
it cannot be tangible
but immutable
peace is already here
for you on the cusp
between something
and nothing

I am numb from
feeling so much

to believe is to
be let down at
some point

it might as well be
make believe
fairy tale kind of nonsense

It makes the
apathy feel so much better
but deep down we
all know who is
full of it

and the nonbelievers
are really candle
holding angels
longing to bless you and
kiss your feet...

I am sorry

for any hurt I caused

let there be a release
from your suffering

I am small

sometimes it shows
seething hot and
plain from my brow

with no excuse

Other than
I didn't show my work
I didn't show up for the work

Forgive me

I am yellow bellied
needing
a little nudge to remember

I am of service
to you
always of service
to you, the spirit
the Earth

with love.

You are captive to it.

This numbing redeemer.

Who ever said

putting the genie

back into the bottle

was an impossible task.

It only takes a pill

these days

but it don't last.

And if you're not

all together careful

cradling its contents

so precious like breath

You could end up

smothering your genie

and leaving him for dead.

Today
I will put
these aging
feet on the bare
green Earth
again.

I will close my eyes
and feel the verdant energy
traverse thru my legs
up to the column of my spine

restoring
the fractures
in my soul.

Born organic
I belong to the Earth.

waking
the pure intelligence
within my body
in order to
find its way
Home.

They mocked her
And called her
Professor Big nose
That God refused to shape
her into identity
And woe to the woman
With non-existent eyebrows
They have shunned
her like the weak
Browed witches before her
Ain't sanctified with charmed
pendants like that
Exciting the fates in the
unseen ghosts
Ugly woman with the
Honey-glow and deep ancient eyes
lips too big and natural
They must be the flaw of her existence
She was too black for black
And too much of her as She

I am like nobody

but you can't say

things like that

and come off humble

or modest as such

No I am not like you

before sunrise

i seek out mirrors

that burn with my reflection

I free my self every morn

before sunrise

deleting the gradients

between you and me

you see

I was born a super hero

from a land far far away

and I have not forgotten

I am a supreme badass

I saw them
working as
old schlepps
like you or me
postering as
flawed and human
but I know
they walk perfect
upon the earth  
ordained in shrouds
of shimmer
upon them
and when you are
not looking
they sing of
liberation
between
the moments
while blessing your
face with God

You have already proven
to me that you're my
drug of choice
The lull I get without you
how I hang onto your
every gesture

your scent I'm sure
you calibrated to me
since I can sense you
whenever you manage
to come around

I feel this
warmth beneath my belly
where I imagined you
touched me there
your mouth seeking the deep
crevices of my body
in the cold dank night
underneath the sin
In the heat of the covers...

"The mystery, the Door of the Woman, is the root of earth and heaven..."* Translated by Ursula LeGuin, Tao te Ching

Big bodies, you say,
don't belong here
woman as big body is
big failure to most
but your naivete begets you
and would have
you believe in such silly notions

Woman as bountiful and
big was made that way
She was born to breed more than babies
She houses the righteous dust of us
and all the gall she could muster
to free us

She is all of
us and nothing more
but the bigness she sees in her
large, black eyes
She swells more and more each day
counting the days when she will
scatter as gargantuan as the sky

Hot surge
In our bellies
we dipped from  
cherried shores

Tongues raw
from the singe
of hunger

We paused between
each satiated strum

Our sighs melted
between each breath

We bit into the
veins of
Our longing
And died
dripping from
our mouths

“When I think of you, fireflies in the marsh rise like the soul’s jewels,
Lost to eternal longing, abandoning my body.”* —Izumi Shikibu

I don’t know the Sun
but
outside I have
made a mess of things
and
the days have gone
slow fleeting

You should know I’d swallow
You entirely
and the wind is
a formless deity

I **** my tongue to you.

**We don’t know where
a poem goes when its forgotten
Perhaps like love it sleeps
in the recesses of our soul
And awakes in the boundaries
of our pain.

The black moon has risen
and it's in the parting
that keep the dead away

Say you won't hang
them from the bough of
your lips

The dead
seeking you
with your light
bearing body

Soon you will join the
leagues of ghosts
and we will put your
worries to slaughter
upon the black risen moon

On cold evenings
Like this
the moon is
a black pearl
teasing me
to divine under
her that I will know
her ancient secrets

This willow weeps for no one

It hears the mountain's tears
riding on the backs of slow waves

This willow knows
that the sun's silence
is understood by every atom

It knows
that soon the rocks will rise up and
take arms

They will wage a war against concrete
and flesh

Soon the earth will heave a sigh of relief
and will resume feeding the willows that have
long ago stopped crying

Do not be eager
to make Her into
your own image.
For She is the beginning
and the end.
We have lived within
Her and died there.
Her energy is this wild sacred
vacancy of creation.
Come be delivered
from the root of
Her womb and
be forever set free.

Brave is walking alone
in a room full of strangers.

I am in question
while the tarot cards
plummet to
the floor
these inquiries
are hidden within
I am not a queen of
anything
but a jester in silly clothing
beckoning you
with empty
blood-ridden hands
I made a promise
to the one God
and broke it shamefully
I fell hard
paying for it
broken body
deliberately
heart stung
with little glee