It's been a long time since I looked in the mirror and didn't see a stranger.
A long time since "you're beautiful" wasn't met with an instant shake of the head and a laugh.
I don't think he realizes what he's done to me.
While I was busy holding myself together with duct tape and glue, he was learning to stitch his own heart.
And our scars are reminders not of what horror we went through, but that we can make it through anything.
I'm not going to lie, I'm still a mess.
But he's helping me sweep up my broken pieces and catalog what caused the brokenness to begin with.
And as afraid as I am that failure is imminent,
His arms feel like a place I could call home for a long, long time.

My own mother hurt me with words today
She asked me why I have no friends
I told her
The people I thought were my friends lie to my face
Talk behind my back
And invite everyone except me to hang out.
My mom said
"You've given me the same reasons since you were 3
I'm starting to think it's not everyone else
It's you
You're un-friendable."
It's a made up word that cuts real wounds
She said if I weren't so different and kooky
And didn't make people feel awkward
Then maybe I'd learn to be like them.
Well if being myself means
I can't be shown the same respect as everyone else
Why would I want to have friends anyway

oh midnight how you kindle me
with your somber twilight,
bursting melancholy inspiration,
oh darkness you.
arousing the artist in lonely me,
you mysterious temptress you,
how your lovely murky mist
covers your opaque skin,
oh blackness you,
an icy caress with your
pitch dark breath
won't suffice me tonight.
i wish to ravage you,
oh nebulous you.
under blankets of shadow
we will be electric,
we shall make a dawn
the world will be jealous of.

I watch you move between my palms
What a soul you are between your bones
Straddling skin like a sacrilegious nun basking in the glory of Satan
Just a taste on my tongue
Like bitten words of repression you ache for mercy
Funny how we are nothing but rot in the end
And still I love you, in the state you are in
A far cry from lively
But still
Just as lovely

He was beautiful and kind
he seemed like a gentleman so refined.

he made the first move, and asked to date me
I was so happy I said yes, and wrote it all down in my diary

The date was set, I should have know then it was going to end in tears
for the day was a day made up of fears
was this a sign I think so yes
the date was Friday the 13th
I should have laid this one to rest

The date went swimmingly he seemed so charming
but then something happened that was so alarming

whilst making love to me he uttered these words

Don't go falling in love with me

my belly that once was filled with butterflies and birds now filled with bats.
my heart sank, my body froze, I can't believe he just said that.

Don't go falling in love with me he said, as he was on top of me in his bed.
my eyes looking up to the ceiling
feeling so sad they filled with tears
he was unaware of how I was feeling.

Don't go falling in love with me
Those words echoed in my mind
how can he be so cruel when he seemed so kind

Don't go falling in love with me
I've never felt so used, I've never felt so *****
A cheap sleep around I have never been accused I'm not Even flirty.

Don't go falling in love with me
too late I already fell.
I loved everything, your eyes, your laugh, your smell.

Don't go falling in love with me
Those words will haunt me for all time
I gave you everything but then in a instant I realised you was never to be mine.