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 Feb 2015 Kevy Almighty
aa
certain pieces of me
still want you by my side
still want to hear the sound of your voice
but they're like fallen leaves in autumn
while the wind that blows and scatters them
are the pieces of me
that never want to see you
and never want to talk to you
ever again
took me a while to realize that you're a really big piece of an ungrateful little ****
***
did you hear them?
my cries for help, did you hear them?
of course you did, but you were so caught up in the *** & how beautiful it felt to touch me in ways that most had never gotten to.
you were too caught up in the grips of the walls of my ******, instead you should have been focusing on the way i was gripping onto your arm holding on for dear life, trying not to drown in everything that you seemed to be but weren't.

when i knew that you were only there for the ***, it was too late..
darling, i was already lost in your soul.. fighting your demons that couldn't stand even the scent of me.. they hated me, you hated me..
you claimed to be passionate about me when the only thing you were ever passionate about was the warmth of my body against yours, and the fire that we were so near to starting from the friction of your body rubbing 'gainst mine..
you were caught up in f--king me, when all i wanted was for you to f--k the **** out of my desires dear.
you wanted to 'make love' to me, when i really wanted you to make love to my being.
you were caught up in the depth of my intimacy when you should have been lost in the depth of my soul.
**my brain is a ****** *****, dont forget to stroke that also.
Day by day,
night by night,
such a cliche opening;

I hate it.

Usually,
I can sit & write unbounded
but recently my brain's been
cleaved into microscopic encryptions.

It seems almost impossible to
...elucidate my mental paradigm
...or maybe to accept it?

Sometimes...
I find myself
yearning to write about nature
but then I begin to cogitate on
how aesthetic nature is.

Trees and flowers.
"You and me.
K-I-S-S-I-N-G
..under the trees.
R-O-L-L-I-N-G
...in the flowers.
You and me."


****.

Don't get things misconstrued,
I just love,
writing about love.

There's a girl I've never met
but mentally it feels like,
we share telepathy.
I feel like
...within the distance between us,
there's this distinctive cryptic aura
and I yearn to decrypt it.

****.

...told you I just love writing about love.
Ironically though,
I'm far from ready for it.
                                                             ­        -d.b.d.
I used to think I couldn't go a day without your smile. Without telling you things and hearing your voice back.

Then, that day arrived and it was so **** hard but the next was harder. I knew with a sinking feeling it was going to get worse, and I wasn't going to be okay for a very long time.

Because losing someone isn't an occasion or an event. It doesn't just happen once. It happens over and over again. I lose you every time I pick up your favorite coffee mug, whenever that one song plays on the radio, or when I discover your old t-shirt at the bottom of my laundry pile.

I lose you every time I think of kissing you, holding you, or wanting you. I go to bed at night and lose you, when I wish I could tell you about my day. And in the morning, **when I wake and reach for the empty space across the sheet, I begin to lose you all over again.
This is one of my favorite Lang Leav's write. Just wanted to share here for i'm having the same feeling now. :)

Because I'm in awe of her. And of you.
I could hug you,
I could hold you,
Only if I was closer;

I could feel you,
I could kiss you,
Only if I was closer;

My heart beats for you,
My soul screams for you,
I need your presence,
In my life;

Ever since we met,
I felt fulfilled,
The closer we get,
Our friendship we build;
50 shades of ****** up,
I've ventured deep within you.
...scrutinized every centimeter,
every corner,
of that perplexing cavernous mind of yours.

                              I
                        ­                fell
                                            ­       in
                                                                love


...but somewhere between "I" and "love"
I found myself stumbling into the spaces between them.
I knew you were too weak
to catch me but
those cogent promises,
that compelling voice,
how could I not succumb, baby?
I never doubted you and that was my downfall.
I stood in the gap for you,
defended you,
when anyone pestered me with pessimism.
There's this saying about....
...a log being in your eye
yet you're trying to take a speck out of someone else's;
Let's just subliminally throw the ***** laundry out.
Out of all the wrongs I've ever done,
I'm able to say,
"I never cheated."
"I never gave up."
"I was always there for you."
"I kept my promises."

kinda distasteful that you can't, huh?
tbc has been discontinued.
                                             **TheEnd.
tbc: to be continued.
it ended the way it did bc I began exerting too many emotions and the person this is directed to doesn't deserve an ounce of it.
"TheEnd" represents the end, no space in between because there isn't anymore space in my poetry or life for another tbc.
Finding hope isn't easy
Falling in love is
Breaking someone's heart is simple
But finding strength is not
It started out like a game
We had fun; became good friends
We were harmless; feeling no shame
Things started to change
I loved the mystery
It got more interesting
Exciting for us
I thought it would never be
Thought it would just be innocent history
Because in other hands, he was taken
But unsatisfied
I too was taken
But unhappy, only in my eyes
There was just something
Something about the other, that felt right
I began to notice
As i thought of him all day, all night
Then a friend came to mind
Putting my thoughts on halt
A friend who's resentment is all his fault
They were once what I wanted to be
According to her
Their story ended in tragedy
I knew not to do it
I knew it wasn't right
I tried so hard to stay away
To fight
I fell
Fell into the hands
Of what I wanted to be mine
But later found out
It was just a handful of lies
As time went
Just for him
I cut off the one
The one who really loved me
He thought distance was the problem
In reality it was something ugly
I had done him wrong
Deep down, on the low
Even till this day
He still doesn't know
I then waited patiently
As I sorrowed in my shame
Waiting and waiting
For my lover do the same
He said he would do it
He said he would cut her loose
I had a gut feeling
He just couldn't choose
Just an expression of my story and a mistake I made that I have learned from.
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