Oh tea
How you comfort me
I want you pipping hot
Curse the day if you're not

Oh tea
How you know me better than most
You're with me through biscuits, curry and toast
Through the sadness and the jokes

Oh tea
We're together when my slumber breaks
Before and after afternoon naps
The solid, the broken and the cracked
You're my constant, that's a fact

Oh tea
You put your trust in me
Making you is an art, you see
My colleagues didn't understand
The severity that was in their hands

Oh tea
I'm sorry for the disrespect
For the long life milk and unsealed tubs
For the dust and 2 second snubs
The stained mugs and shrugs

Oh tea
You're the perfect friend
When my social skills have come to an end
Whether out ‘n’ about
Or on the couch all cosy and slouched


Oh tea
I take you everywhere
Without you? imagine the despair!
I must declare, you make me feel like a millionaire
A cup of you is like a prayer, without you I'd likely swear (a lot)

Oh tea
In a teapot, mug or cup
The choice is lucious enough
When someone comes through the door, the kettle goes on for sure

Oh tea
Through joy, celebration or pain
Disaster, pandemics or vain
Through loneliness or togetherness
You've always been so generous

It's actually ok to cry
To let emotion fill your eyes
For tears to reach the edge
To spill over and fledge

I thought it was a sign
Of weakness of the mind
I would stop my heart
From talking with my head
Change the subject
Think of something else instead

But now I understand
Hardness isn't bold or grand
If something hurts my soul
It's ok to let it show
For being touched by what is sad or wrong
Can only make me wise and strong

Undulating thoughts have me paralysed
Are you in disguise
I’m hypnotised
Tribal dancers dance all over me
Numb me to the pains
This reality
Questions raining down
Drowning me
Closer to the end
The more I see
Rains that touch my soul aren’t cleansing me
Will we save us from this tragedy
Are these cracks dependency
Dark and light come relentlessly
The birds still sing
There’s hope for me

Like a child, he made himself small
Crouched against the wall
He held on to the soles of his feet, placing his head on his knee
The relentless torment of vulnerability soaked his bare skin
Destruction tore him down from the outside in
As pain receptors cut and the light dimmed
Shattering porcelain hope in to jagged pieces
Too gentle for this time
Emotions had to die and tears dried
The drought left cracks in his mind
But the universe had other plans
For the harshest conditions and remotest terrain
From just a droplet of rain
Pretty flowers grow

Oozing charm and fluency, over exuberantly, without vanity or pride or an arrogance of mind
remaining humble and kind
looking just fine
Not with the fittest physic or perfect teeth, manicured hands drenched in gold leaf
Or a sharp suit and tie which underneath emptiness lies
But a beauty that shines bright like a beacon
signalling hardship, success, failure, determination
Strong and truthful
Unapologetically flawed
Lost youth and adult gains
Ageing memories and hunger pains
slight wrinkles, cheeks with dimples
passion,
it's quite simple
perfection is meaningless
It lacks personality and taste
Humility, humour and good grace
The hard times you stared point-blank in the face
However, on the other hand
It's like you're from another land
Im lost
In your perfect imperfections
Filters and airbrush aren't a true reflection
Of the life you've lived of the story you've told
When you've been weak when you've been bold
what made you happy or caused you stress
How you like to chill and rest
Or put your mind and body to the test
I want to see what makes you, you
I long to see it all
For its what makes you beautiful

Your hands are intentionally keen
Though you’re nowhere to be seen
Your soul a glowing sunset
Penetrating heat
Through my bones
Though my eyes are closed
Your energy speaks sensual prose
Your breath lights my flame
Controls the flickers of my frame
I become the universe
We become one
As I pray
For an ever setting sun

Please play me your piano heart
Till you’re free
Till your fingers bleed and you weep
Till lovers make love after dark
And angels sing

Till night says goodbye and dawn arrives
And everything day promises is smothered in music notes
Till minor cords become major
And destiny is destroyed

Please play me your piano heart
Make the notes scream
All the words you couldn’t say
Carve your melodies in their brain
Till they see
Your piano heart and me was always meant to be

I sing my silent prayers, in them includes you
My body shivers, not from the cold, I kiss the morning dew
The trees, they grant me endless love, through the frequency of truth
Tears well in my eyes, I stand and face this life,
of roots and dying leaves, not a moment is there grief
My conversation with the trees brings me peace

I long to see how you close your eyes

How the sun blesses your skin

God sends precious things  

To my heart

I’m lucky enough to see

-You

Read between lines
Even empty skies
On starless nights
Offers light
From closed eyes

You’re far away from home
Manicured rows
Of skyscraper homes
Even in your familiar city
Your heart is lost
Searching the streets for meaning
Regret stings your soul
Your eyes have accepted their fate
I see behind them passion and fire
They put me in a state of desire

Why aren’t the birds singing as Day cracks open
Sounds of traffic hum in the distance, but no familiar new day song
Ah
A coo of a wood pigeon brakes the eerie silence of nature
I feel relief

I'm not Christian Muslim or Jew
Nor Sikh nor Hindu nor Atheist too

I was never christened baptised or blessed
I have no label on my chest
Maybe that's the truest test
I'm thankful for my parents choice
For my faithless label allows me a voice
I see good in the Muslim I see hope in the Jew I see love in the Hindu the Buddhist too
I respect your values what you believe is true
I feel your passion and I'll learn your tune
I'll take it in and I'll write it down
Until it's my own song I'm singing aloud

My faith is the sky
The stars and the sea
The Sun that shines each day
And the moon that night time brings
Humanity love and kindness comes from the very highest view
If you have those in your heart
Then I have you in mine too

Your smell is fading
I close my eyes,
feel warm inside
Replay  
“You’ll never feel more alive”
You say
You kissed me soft, you stroked my skin
You pulled me in
This ancient thing
Called love




Bit my back, tugged my hair
****
These feelings are so rare
I drink in your eyes
You’re right
I never felt more alive
I study your mouth
I connect with your soul
As stories are told
Your heart beats hard
Through my head
As I lay on your chest
Forgetting the rest of the world

‪Each thud of my heart ‬
‪Embarks on that slow‬
‪Rickety ride to the top ‬
‪Where the rollercoaster drops‬
‪My pounding blood red heart‬
‪Beats so fast ‬
‪You’re in the stars‬
‪Out of reach‬
‪In sight ‬
‪Light years from here ‬
‪Just around the Milky Way‬
‪And up the road‬
‪Clouds become stepping stones‬

Saturday night is full
It’s sunday morning where you lay
I hope that you have woken up now
I checked my phone throughout the day
Daydreams of skin on skin feel
Just like the darling buds of May
Spring time filled the air of
This late February day
I’ve dreamed this dream for so long now
I’ve been patient all the way
I don’t know what the rush is
The destination’s here to stay

****** my eyes
They are the windows to my soul
Share with me your beauty
All the things that make you grow
****** me with your eyes
My eyes like what they see
Share with me your weakness
And I'll see you're just like me


****** me with your scent
A heady fragrance reaches far
Etch a trigger in my brain that
Reaches memories when we part
****** me with your scent
The sweetness is divine
Like cherry blossom blooming
Or a coastal sunset night


****** my ears with what I hear
As the gentle whispers of a warm breeze
Speaks to the grass
As cheerful song is heard from the sky larks laugh
****** my ears with what I hear
With your soft voice speak of fond childhood memories ambition and dreams
Telling me lovely stories of what you believe


****** my touch
With the electricity of your body
Strong and broad like the most beautiful landscape I long to explore
Walking every path eager to learn more
****** my touch
Hold my hand in yours
We'll climb the highest mountain
Reaching breathtaking views
Guide my hands from toe to tip
Running my hands over your every inch not missing one bit


****** me with your taste
I may have saved the best till last
One taste of your lips my mouth be yearning fast
One sip does not quite quench my thirst
Im greedy I want more
Like a vino rosso you've let my tastebuds soar
Sweet fruit notes and smooth caramel
I sip you seductively and savour each delicate drop
Grounded by your earthy tones just like my fine wine
I taste your many layers which are perfectly sublime
****** me

Have I wasted years based on a fantasy of unprocessed fears, of daddy issues, and tears
I tear myself to pieces, my stomach is tied in knots, my mind is really broken, and I seem to cry a lot
I’m so desperate for your validation, for your kindness and your love, but the novelty of me soon wears off, and again I’m crushed.
This time will be different, we’ve come so far, we’ve grown so much.
We also made agreements that toxicity was done.
But who the hell was I fooling
Starved of chaos for a moment too long
You feast on destruction, dramatise this new production, which turns out is just a reconstruction, of the time before, and the one before that, I can go back and back.
Am I so ******* up for thinking things had changed
I’m scared to trust my thoughts I think my feelings are insane.
The venom in your voice, the stab of every vicious word
How is this the person who soothed me when I hurt.
How can I trust when you switch on me like that
The welcome mat is pulled and it’s into combat
I am the enemy. I must be destroyed
Just like Andy playing with his toys
Story has it, it will eventually become white noise
This scene has been repeated so much my head is sore
Blame, and blame, and blame, some more.
This time you scared me more than ever before
I’ve seen your darkness and still loved you to your core
But now I’m really sick
I don’t know who I am and my self esteem has dipped.
I don’t remember my smile, I live in ignorant denial.
I’m pathetic. I’m ashamed. I’m weak
Yet I continue to dial your number
Over, and over, and over, and over
Every click to voicemail chips away at my self-worth
I sob my precious heart out, longing to matter to you, coz no one else will do.
I put you on a pedestal and I really don’t know why
Because you’re emotionally abusive and you’ve made me want to die.
But you’ve also made me laugh, you’ve soothed me with your song, you sung me lullabies
And when anxiety has become too strong, you’ve got me to breathe along
You’ve held me and you’ve stroked my hair
You’ve reached out to touch me and to check that I am there
I believed we had an unparalleled connection
Was it self deception? Was I blind and naive?
I know love isn’t easy but should it bring you to your knees?
It’s certainly brought me closer to god
Coz I’ve begged and prayed like a hungry dog
I have no idea where I have gone

Energy surges
My body
Roots deep
As the universal
Core
Vibrations
Transcend
Inner
Higher
You
Me
Connections
Set me free

I am woman

You took me to beautiful places
sensual sunsets warmed my bones
My toes curled as you made me moan
Waters lapped the shore
I arched my back and pleaded, more
Skies a midnight blue, scattered with tiny stars
They glistened in my eyes and reflected back in yours

"I love you"
she says silently before typing the words to you
She loves you
like long summer days catching grasshoppers in her hands
Like sneaking over the neighbours fence to watch tadpoles morphing into frogs
Like the adventures of the warm dusty ground, looking for lizards
She loves you like her childhood self-belief
The matter of factness that collecting cans from the street and selling handmade things
Would change the world, would save the dolphins and the whales
From Japan, Norway and captivity
She loves you certainly, like the trees she climbed
High, scary
to prove she was stronger than fear
Like the Amber jewel of tree sap and the earthly smell of pine
And things that mattered
She loves you because you have helped her remember herself

You move like water
Over my body
Your wet mouth enticing waves
Visceral and tangible collide
In to the silk of your skin
In slow motion
Until we reach the shore
Of stillness

You screamed out secrets
Nobody would ever hear
All of silence fell
On that moment
On that breath
When you most needed relief
When your heart was so filled with cries
You dreamed of carving it out
Till you bled
As a warning to others like you
And there will be others
Who cheat themselves with internal screams
No one ever hears or sees
The sun has set and dawn will not release you

Ant on the tree, climbing bark mountains
The flying thing I’ve never seen before
I lost it.
It came back to catch my eye with its fuzzy yellow body
The bee, the lovely bee, frolicking
Small birds flitting atop the trees that shine silvery as the sun reaches higher
The bee comes back
The mossy grass of small twisted cotton creeps up the tree like a blanket
And serves as my seat
I’m thankful

If your values are material
You aren’t wired right
When status is your aim,
Likes are an empty game
You’ll never be fulfilled,
There’s no depth to be instilled
That heart doesn’t fill your cup
But I see it’s a momentary up
It soon fades away
Working on the next thing that you’ll (post) say

When your watch takes the place of your smile
And you let it dim the shine of your eyes
When the perception from others cripples your freedom
Image is nothing to believe in
Labels aren’t an achievement
Sadness and fear is transparently clear

I recognise you’ve worked hard for success
But what about passion and life beating through your chest?
I don’t care about the after party
Or the ‘everyone’ celebrity
It doesn’t impress me

I open your books of poetry
You close them tight on me
Afraid to show your trueness
It’s all I cared to see

Your soft feet carry your soft heart and I watch you move
Just walking, moving, nothing out of the ordinary
All of nature’s beauty roars inside you
You are your charcoal drawings wrapped in pain
You are freedom caged
the universe, and stardust, and all the reasons against
We are here
In this moment
Together

Sometimes just the right words come
At just the right time.
Sometimes it takes a little pain
To realise the gain
Sometimes you forget your worth
And the kindness you deserve
Sometimes, as much as it’s your nature to nurture and to fix
You can’t offer light when you’re broken in to bits

I guess I’d say I’m lucky, it all comes down to luck,
Historically, I’m born to a time of not giving a ****

Geographically I’m free, in a nation filled with greed
But in the greater scheme of things,
I’ve never known hunger or planted a seed

Racially I’m privileged, or so that’s what they say,
Though my gripe with my lack of exotic is a vain and ignorant betray
I’ve never endured or felt insecure by the lack of melanin that came my way

Despite the socialistic statistics, I see realistic logistic
Surviving ballistics, Linguistically twisted,
Academically average, emotionally insecure, certainly unsure
What emotions are for

Yes my parents loved me and sure they also ******* up
However, I still had to make my choices
Of getting high in a garage block, or getting up