I long for a love I’m yet to meet
‘Cause the one I’ve lost has broken me
Love lies bleeding in my hands
Of memories and unfilled plans

My heart aches and my mind is numb
I’ve cried all night to the rising sun
My endless tears fall like Aprils rain
Mend my broken heart, I pray

The pain it just won’t go away
Melancholy floods my veins
I needed you to feel this pain
I needed you

Clinging to hope, to “one day, “soon”
I cemented my wounds with false promise
One day, some day, well, that didn’t come
We didn’t make it to the seaside

There was no more laughter
There was no more fun
I waited
I waited

The telephone doesn’t ring now
Your voice is left inside my head
With all your broken promises
With all the things you said

I waited
I waited

It’s zero hundred hours on the 1st of July
I’m alone with the truth of silence
There is something to be said for stoicism, for getting on
My soul longs to release a river of tears
I focus on the light patterns
Across my dated artex ceiling
Rays of light like sunbeams
Through my 70s style, wicker light shade
I wonder about the lonely households
All the broken hearts
The ones regretting
And the ones taking it all for granted
Melancholy surrounds me like an aura
And spreads under my skin

There you go, moving in the wind
I see you, under the Red Kite's wings
I feel your shadow, I hear you sing

There you are, among constellations of the open sky
In eye contact of passers by
Even in the tears I cry

I watch you, in the rug of fallen leaves
You're there, even when I don't believe
You hold me when I find release

I feel you, in the presence of the peeling bark
In the starkness of the lonely dark
Dear Spirit, you're in my heart

"I love you"
she says silently before typing the words to you
She loves you
like long summer days catching grasshoppers in her hands
Like sneaking over the neighbours fence to watch tadpoles morphing into frogs
Like the adventures of the warm dusty ground, looking for lizards
She loves you like her childhood self-belief
The matter of factness that collecting cans from the street and selling handmade things
Would change the world, would save the dolphins and the whales
From Japan, Norway and captivity
She loves you certainly, like the trees she climbed
High, scary
to prove she was stronger than fear
Like the Amber jewel of tree sap and the earthly smell of pine
And things that mattered
She loves you because you have helped her remember herself

Look nowhere but within, for your spiritual highs, forgiveness and sin.
The saddest truth there is, your a commodity.
You're a consumer to the holy man who put a price on his wisdom.
And the teachings of the earth are so lost
That we pay for courses in the innate.
To know what we thought we never needed. And become who we thought we'd never be.
Isn't that ironic?
We're lost.
This human being.

Oh tea
How you comfort me
I want you pipping hot
Curse the day if you're not

Oh tea
How you know me better than most
You're with me through biscuits, curry and toast
Through the sadness and the jokes

Oh tea
We're together when my slumber breaks
Before and after afternoon naps
The solid, the broken and the cracked
You're my constant, that's a fact

Oh tea
You put your trust in me
Making you is an art, you see
My colleagues didn't understand
The severity that was in their hands

Oh tea
I'm sorry for the disrespect
For the long life milk and unsealed tubs
For the dust and 2 second snubs
The stained mugs and shrugs

Oh tea
You're the perfect friend
When my social skills have come to an end
Whether out ‘n’ about
Or on the couch all cosy and slouched


Oh tea
I take you everywhere
Without you? imagine the despair!
I must declare, you make me feel like a millionaire
A cup of you is like a prayer, without you I'd likely swear (a lot)

Oh tea
In a teapot, mug or cup
The choice is lucious enough
When someone comes through the door, the kettle goes on for sure

Oh tea
Through joy, celebration or pain
Disaster, pandemics or vain
Through loneliness or togetherness
You've always been so generous

As the sun sets
The leaf sits up
Open
trusting
Asking boldly
For the last light
This vulnerable leaf
Opens its heart
Instinctively surrendering
To love

I sing my silent prayers, in them includes you
My body shivers, not from the cold, I kiss the morning dew
The trees, they grant me endless love, through the frequency of truth
Tears well in my eyes, I stand and face this life,
of roots and dying leaves, not a moment is there grief
My conversation with the trees brings me peace

I love the essence of a gentle heart
Soft voice of golden harp
- Sacred stars

The night does dare to seek
My heartbeat where you sleep
- The dawn slow arising

The day is hidden well
Behind the curtain of the autumn
- I can't shake this lovers spell

Exhilarated in the lightness of adoration
Exiting the gallery, they paused
Looking out across the Christmas market
Closing their eyes, discussing the senses
Their hands desperate to touch

Ant on the tree, climbing bark mountains
The flying thing I’ve never seen before
I lost it.
It came back to catch my eye with its fuzzy yellow body
The bee, the lovely bee, frolicking
Small birds flitting atop the trees that shine silvery as the sun reaches higher
The bee comes back
The mossy grass of small twisted cotton creeps up the tree like a blanket
And serves as my seat
I’m thankful

Wouldn’t we all like a cocktail of drugs when things get tough
To slip in to the sweetest sleep and not wake up
Wouldn’t that be nice, to sacrifice a gift of life for a forever peace... until next time
Wouldn’t all the tough challenges get taken away to never see the light of day
Wouldn’t you kick yourself in the head for all the things you can’t do when you’re dead

You’ll never not be enough
Until you aren’t

When your mind is littered
And the world is falling inside your chest
Stop, take a breath
See the silver birch dance
The blue sky enhanced
By the Sun

Push your roots in to the ground
Without a sound
Harmonic resonance is loud
Feel the beat
of your heart
The pulse of the earth
You’re a child of the universe

I’m remembering...

The movements of your mouth
The energy pouring from your body to mine
Your breath like the smoke fountain flows through me
Connection is freedom
You made love to my soul

In you
I’m finding freedom

Sharp was the blade
That sliced down my chest
Receptors severed
I look down at my open wound
This bloodied scene
Tugs and tears and numbness
I witness
Beats deaden
My heart in his hands
Dying
A vow to die
In love

Energy surges
My body
Roots deep
As the universal
Core
Vibrations
Transcend
Inner
Higher
You
Me
Connections
Set me free

I am woman

Then... I only see you. I’m in love with the sparkle in your eyes. Every line of your body. Every broken bit. Every enlightened bit. And every bit you share with me

And even if equation exists, there’s no amount of quantifying a love like this
For now,
Whether in pain or bliss
I’ll roll gods dice, our souls will kiss

Your acorn eyes
Look at me
Brown, earthly

My heart thuds
As all the worlds clocks
Take their last strike

Time ceases

Your soft feet carry your soft heart and I watch you move
Just walking, moving, nothing out of the ordinary
All of nature’s beauty roars inside you
You are your charcoal drawings wrapped in pain
You are freedom caged
the universe, and stardust, and all the reasons against
We are here
In this moment
Together

I long to see how you close your eyes

How the sun blesses your skin

God sends precious things  

To my heart

I’m lucky enough to see

-You

Transcending this reality, this moment, this place
Conflict between the ego and the soul, and truth

God lives in you, and you, in god
She is nature, she is nourishment
We are one

Renounce these rules of man or die a slave
Be love, like breath, like waves

Lying here alone  
I feel more alive
More pain
Sadness
More hope
More peace
Than I felt the entire day
Surrounded by people
Spiritually I’m growing
Leaving the ones I love behind
There’s a blessing in that
I whiteness the beauty
And loneliness of truth