A small patch of the world
Where my imagination swirls
And on Fridays belongs to me
It's not a tall mountain, or the sea
But a room stacked high with everything
That I really need
Or maybe it's full with one thing
That means so much to me
A piano, and a microphone
Where I can sing all alone
And clean my heart when it is full
So I can think, so I may fill the hole

I can't help but feel
That this'll end it all
I'm scared as I walk down these halls
My whole body shakes
My insides quake
And a storms rebelling in me
I choke back tears
I don't want to know what
He'll say
I don't want my mother to cry
For Jesus sake I don't want to die!
But even now my arms my legs
Everything burns
I
Can feel it crawl it's way
Through my body
I
Can feel it eat me away
I only know that
When I raised my head from that pillow
And glanced down on my body
I was horrifyed
Red swirling patches
Ate up my body
Down my stomach
Down my legs
Along my Back ...
On my face
Cruel reality
Setting in
Was this punishment
For all my sins
Please I'm sorry
But to my mother
I'm last of kin

She pretends she's invincible,
She pretends his words don't sting,
She pretends that when he knocks her down,
That she can't feel,
I wish I could ease her pain,
But she avoids it,
She doesnt want anyone to know,
That she might need a hand,
I wish I could be strong for her,
I wish I could take her pain,
I wish she didn't cry herself to sleep at night,
I wish she hadn't had that fight,

Take this pen and write the words
Slow as I watch them shape into meaning
Sad and sullen I write my tragedies
I write my pain and my happy
I write the dark and the light
I write the flight and my fights
But I can't seem to write how I feel
I can't even speak the words
It seems as though I'm writing a novel
To a strangers life
As though I don't even know who I am
Too bad I can't write my way back home
To that place inside of me
To bad I can't write my sight
So my blind eyes can see
To bad I can't write the pieces of me back together
To bad that my life seems like a work of fiction

The thrill, the ride, the joy of the scare
The flash, the tide
The heat of being there

The love in which you never did fall
The smiles, the laughs,
The act too fool us all

The silence, the awkward between the two
The wave, the goodbye
As bordem does as its supposed to

The anger the clash, the need to always fight
The hate, the fear
The straying from the light

The names, the fingers pointed across the hall
The blood, the stain
As you watch the world fall down

Black casket
The lid closed
To many scars to cover up
Crisscrossed, up and down
Down her stomach
Across her wrist
Along her ankles
The priest insist
That no eyes will see
What the "devil" has done to me
Fresh tears
Cold fear
Fills the room
All pain
All doom
No meaning to a life so wasted
I left the world before I had tasted
Now nights are cold
On the plains of earth
Because I was thrown from heaven
And rejected from hell
What was worse was that I never fell
Alone in the dark
Because I couldn't stand the pain
I'm locked up in a box with my shame
The screams haunt my brain
This wild beast I could never tame
I climb the walls
Just hope I won't fall

You hold me in your arms,
Try to keep me from harm,
You try and be my shield,
Every unwelcome guest made to yield,
This pain I seem to feel,
Only thing that keeps this real,
My only reprieve ,
From this tainted world,
Is your whispers in my ear,
Your the only reason I'm still here,
Don't want you to leave,
Surely the hurt I'll receive,
Keep my mind from the past,
My first breath is my last,
Ive given up my sun,
To stay in darkness so I don't have to run,
From the memories that sustain,  
There the core of my pain

They library was hushed
The faceless man
Across the table
Quite
He tells me
Stay silent
You wouldn't want your mommy to hear
Would you?
So naive
A child could be
I close the book
My attention caught by the closet
Small footsteps
Cautiously taken
Afraid to be caught
Palm on the door ****
I open it
Inside lies a beast
I'm petrified
Scared to blink
But the beast slumbers
On a burning photo
What are you doing!
The faceless man yells
And now I'm terrified
He's been awaken
The beast won't let me go
I've made him angry now
Only my screams echoing
Through the quite library
To keep me company

In time we all must fall upon the one we call
"the one", a story of love and passion
That always seems to end
A block in the fire lit path
One that stops the world
Your world
Once so perfect now tears you apart
One you never thought would end
But no story goes on forever
Happy endings don't exist
Love in my eyes was beautiful
Now is foolish
Heart scarred and bruised
Took too many blows
Would rather stay put in place
Then skip a beat, that will never be returned
For a temporary "love"

The darkness smelt of death and fallen tears
Blood painted to spell your name on the walls
The stench of the remaining fear pasted here
I stand before fiery waterfalls
The darkness eating away at my being
Spend  eternity lost inside a maze
The graphic things I found myself seeing
I thought was only a meaningless daze
Time grew slower creeping by, I went on
I was lost to fight demons of my past
I had no knowledge, was it dusk or dawn?
The path I follow, a mirror of the last
This enigma I find myself alone
Hell is a sinners last and only home

I watch the blood drip on to the cool tile
Watch it pool as my brain numbly
Focuses on the throbbing in my arm
I was so strong for so long
And then you knocked all my efforts over
And that's what urged my hand to wrap around
The cool orange bottle
I didn't know what was inside
But i twisted the cap off
Look inside at the long white pills
A tear slid down my face
Being human was my greatest weakness
I want to swallow them all
I want to tear my wrist open and let it bleed out
I just want it to end
But one face in the angry mob i'm surrounded by
One face stops me
One that held on for me
Gives me the strength to put the cap back on
Gives me the will to stumble to my room
Close my eyes, and write it down

Please tell me how you can look In her honest eyes
And try and break her down, with vile words
I can see her struggle to keep it inside
I can see that shes hurt
I can see her tears unshed
I want to hug her
I hate that she's so sad
I hate that those people are so cruel
I wish I could take away her hurt
But all I can do is give her
One reason to smile
Make her time worth while
Make her days brighter
Make her load lighter
Read her when words are to hard
And hold her up when the weight collapses her
I can bare her pain
I've seen it's dark hellish face
I've ran that same pace
I've been torn apart and fed to the beasts
I've cried and scarred myself for life
But if I could save her
I will fight forever
She is my best friend
The light at the end of a dark hall
The best of them all
If I could be just the slightest bit
Of the friend she's been
I would do my very best

We don't know who we are,
We all have are scars
In my heart it's ripped apart
But I'll never let you  know
Though my eyes are closed
The sounds still let me know
That your near, I can hear you close
And your tears still fall
And I say **** it all
We will never be perfect
Never be perfect

Put my hopes on the ground
Get up turn around
Because nothing ever comes my way
Anymore

Now I see that there far away
Now I know, there's no future day
Might as well just put down the faith
And leave
Walk out the door can't care anymore
I have been broken to many times
To ever rewind

Now I plea to god, that he will save me
But I know that's a hopeless road
And I've tried to see, a light holding opportunity, but it escapes me Every time
And I look for a way, to get out of this place
But it seems that I'm held back in this space

  Put my hopes on the ground
Get up turn around
Because nothing ever comes my way
Anymore

Now I see that there far away
Now I know, there's no future day
Might as well just put down the faith
And leave
Walk out the door can't care anymore
I have been broken to many times
To ever rewind

Dancing alone
My eyes filled by tears
A smile hidden to fragile to be shown
Incomplete
A puzzle left without a piece
Empty hearted
Cold and frozen
The lock hung broken
My hair lose around my shoulders
You used to pull it away from my neck
I can still feel the warmth of your fingers
A ghost of you resides beside me
A rose a top your body
A tear ****** into the earth
Until it travels through the soil
And lands upon your cheek
A smile rest on your pale face
Time will eat it away
Dying beside your soil bed
My black dress scattered along side me
I was asleep while you still sang to me
And now that you're gone
I'm wide awake
Sad that it was this that it had to take
Swimming alone the waves disguise my tears
Slowly every picture we took together
You fade from
I only pray that I will still see your face
I will meet you when I walk the golden bridge
To our paradise

The night is my mother 
Holds me, calms me 
Listens and doesn't judge 
Knows my secrets 
Doesn't tell 
Whispers sweet advice in my ear 
Brushes aside my hair 
I can hide in the silk folds 
Of the shadows the night brings 
I'm okay in her embrace 
I can wipe my tears knowing 
That she won't mind 
If only my biological mother 
Could see 
That her words sting me 
Put tears in my heart 
Push me farther away from her 
Makes me want to leave 
Permanently 
From this world 
From my life 
But the nights motherly caress
Spares my ebbing life

My heart sang to the sweet melody
Of my crying piano
I was so sad, my lashes wet with tears
If only my prayers could cure my fears
My fingers moved slowly from white key to black
As I bite my lip to keep from sobbing
These are the moments I miss my viola

Suns gone from my window 
My pillows lost its comfort 
My blankets seem to strangle me 
I don't feel like myself 
Woken up from a dream 
That had seemed so real 
My bones are aching 
And my hairs a mess 
I wish the dream was real I must confess 
I was running from my past 
I was running to safer arms 
But just as I leaped in the air 
You pulled away 
And you disappeared 
Stupid dreams false hope

I can't say that I was happy
Maybe the time we spent did mean something
Maybe the pain I felt was real and not just pretend
But I can't find the proof it must be hidden
                             My scars still hurt
                             My eyes aren't dry
                                  The tears I cry
                           There real, there real
We might not have been real but I can't say I didn't love you, I wish I could rewind back to the first day, back to when we didn't regret every kiss
                                   Between us
Why did we have to fall so far apart, that no glue
                          Could hold us together
               My hearts still beating but I can't feel
          My voice doesn't shake when I say your
                                         Name
                               But the tears I cry
                            There real, there real
                  Why can't you see you hurt me ?
                          Why can't you see me?
                         I'm falling from your grip
                          I'm falling I might slip
                      Catch me please catch me
                                My scars still hurt
                                My eyes aren't dry
                                 These tears I cry
           My hearts still beating but I still can't feel
       My voice doesn't shake when I say your name
                                  These tears I cry
           My heart still beating but I still can't feel
       My voice doesn't shake when I say your name
                                  These tears I cry

Rabbit rabbit
I formed a habit
I'm walking fast
And watching time pass
The need is grabbing
This pain is stabbing
I need to have it
I'll die if I don't
This smooth addiction
***** me in its deception
Won't let me go
I must escape
I'm falling apart
My seams ripped apart
Rabbit rabbit
I formed a habit
And I can't find my way out

It was the first time I had talked to you
That I felt it spark alive
A tingling shock; I'd thought that I'd died
Like a switch
I was ready for trouble
And troubles my specialty

Built up from the ground
I was here
Planted the first seed
To the master piece
Tucked away my pride
And came out of hiding
To grasp the hands of the man
Who sat against the wall
Not one to beg
Only watching
With a blank face
I couldn't help but to take his hands in my own
And lead him to his savior
Fed him tell he was full
Bathed him until he was clean
Taught him until he knew
His eyes where wise and kind
Reminded me of mine
I was young
So young
They told me I was naive
To let in a man poor
Said that he would take all that I had
But I had little
And it could be replaced
I knew he would never
His eyes told me so
His smile so shy
He had been set in my path
An angel for me to nurture
Because I woke in the morning
And he was gone
All that had been left
Was a crisp white feather
And a note that told me
He'd returned to his tower
Where he stood a top
To feel the winds power
I was not bitter
I had given all I had
For one that had less
And in return I had an angels eye
To watch over me

Will you be the one
To free my heart
Will you be the one
To put together the torn apart
Will you be the one
Who never let's me go

Can you be the one
Who can love when I'm not strong
Can you be the one
To show what's right and wrong
Can you be the one
Who cares when no one else does

I will be the one
Who lookis into your eyes
I will be the one
To give you a heart that never dies
I will be the one
That will give you the hand to help you up

You don't know my pain
You've never worn my chains
Only I bare my shame

You don't wage my fight
You can't cage my might
You don't walk in the night
With me....

You haven't felt my tears
You haven't faced my fears
You've never cheered
Me on...

You don't have to wear my scars
You don't gaze at my stars
And I don't know who you are
Anymore...

We've traveled these long roads together
Battling these monsters hand in hand
Along the road we came to terms
We began to understand

We've seen the sunset
And watched the moon rise
Laughed effortlessly together
And disguised our hopeless cries

Time seems to have passed us by
Because I've seemed to forget your smile
Your eyes are a dim memory in my mind
I haven't heard your voice in my head in a while

I sat beside your grave
And even brought you flowers
I gazed up at the moon hoping I'd see you
As a shooting star in the highest of the star towers

I sat there all night
Wishing you'd just return to my embrace
Crying as I wished I could go back in time
And tell you I loved you, and memorize your face

Because those little things that never seemed to matter
Matter so much more than they ever did
I need to see every flaw and perfection
That you ever hid

Because now your six feet too far
And the ground is far too cold
I can't reach down and pull you up
Your bones are to fragile to hold