I love you so much I can not take it
so why did I have to take your heart
and break it.

Oh world you’re a crook.
A mean mean soul
life’s so short; there’s no time to get old.
Life goes in a blink
and then you die.
That’s just how it goes,
and I’m okay with that.

but,

I have to work my life away
for a dollar and a dime
wasting seconds, minutes, and hours of my short and precious time
all to have “a good life”
just to make it, and to be okay
why can’t I live
without wasting my entire life away
on pieces of paper
an object only meaningful by man
why must I live
in this reality I can’t stand.

I’m confused
I don’t know how to be happy
was I happier fat?
Or am I happier skinny?
I can’t tell the difference
it’s all the same
it doesn’t matter what I look like
the pain will stick to my hip
through thick and thin.
literally.
Is it my body? Is it my clothes?  
or the way I don’t like the rounded curve of my nose?
no.
it’s none of those.

I dip my toe in the water
Of this ******* merky sea
the unknown.
I flick the surface with my foot
watching the surface ripple and rock
it’s dark and I can’t see the bottom
but I jump and don’t think;
a head first dive into the unknown
and deeper and deeper I sink
will I ever reach the bottom ?
and if I open my eyes,
would I even be able to see?
I can’t go back
and I can’t foresee
I have to find a way
to find my feet
to learn how to swim
in this blacker than black;
the unexplored ink
of the world


I’m on my own now.

Why do you like me?
what a stupid thing to say
what you do in a day
no one could do in a year
so sit back my dear
and listen to why I like you this way
I like the way you flip your hair after you get out of the shower
and the way you kiss me a thousand times an hour.
I like the how you put up with me when I try to make you dance
and the way you giggle when I give you a small glance.
I like the way you hold me firm when the car takes a sharp turn
and the way we can just sit and watch incense burn.
I like how you make me curious and wild
and the way you make me feel like a child.
I like the special way you hold my hand when we walk
and how when we’re in public you don’t really like to talk.
I like the way your hands are calloused and rough on my skin
and how the passion in your eyes makes me feel within.
I like how you make me feel like a woman
and how you look at me when I’m cookin.
I like the way you grasp me so lightly as if you were holding a fragile vase
and how you kiss me a hundred times all over my face
So why do I like you ?
Oh love, what a stupid thing to say.

baby you’re stunning
and you smell like honey
and flowers and good.
Sweetheart you’re kind
and your mind is graceful
and magnificent,
and I don’t doubt
because I know you’re heaven sent.
I know you’ve been blue
and I have too;
I know you’ve felt fire
both inside and out
but your soul is full
there is no more drought
pour into me
and I’ll pour into you
together we’ll sprout
and grow to turnout
pleased and at peace
and live another day.
Treasure you’re joy
you’re charitable and gentle
soft yet strong
you’re perfect despite your imperfections and flaws.
Baby bring the heat
warm my heart, my hand, and soul
and if we shall fall we’ll land on our feet.

I watch the time come and go
each tock on the clock
my heart sinks deep
like a rock in the river
I poke at my dinner
like a dead rat on the street
and then I retreat to my room
feeling sappy and sorry
and for this I don’t know
I’m supposed to be peachy
but my heart is greedy
a feeling I wish I could outgrow
my mind is somewhere else
it’s by the creek running around
just feet on the grass, on the dirt, in a tree
but I’m here
not in the somewhere I want to be.