She's a hand grenade
With no pin
Ready to erupt

there’s no way to describe the feeling that enveloped me once you left
but if i were to have to do so
i would say that it felt like cold tendrils wrapping around my neck
******* my every last breath

if i were to have to put it into words
i would say that it felt like dull tweezers plucking at my heart
tearing it apart
not all at once
but piece by piece

if i were to have to explain myself
i would say it was like drowning in the arctic
the cold water
a brutal reminder of the cruel reality
where you left me
to sit alone
and surrender to the insanity
that has slowly consumed me

I love you.
I love you so much
That sometimes, it's like I can't breathe.
I want to feel your touch,
Even just your hand in mine
Or your arm around my shoulders.
I want to be near you.
I adore the sound of your voice.
I love you.

There are times
That being in love with you is awful.
Someone else makes you laugh
Or smile,
And I wish it had been me.
You're talking to others
And I try not to get jealous,
Usually failing.
I feel guilty for how I feel about you.
Because you don't return the feelings.
I'm like a sibling to you.
That *****.
You mean a lot to me.

I miss you,
Sometimes so badly it hurts.
I want to be with you,
Spend time with you.
I could live by your side.
Hugging you makes me so happy,
And so often I want to kiss you.
More than anything,
I love you.

I used to have a heart
But the streets stole it
I'm no longer a poet
Just drugged with a pen
Hitting rock bottom time and again
Its hard out here
So I grab another beer
And drink my pain away
Til a sunnier day,
If it ever comes
Til then the drugs will numb
Me and my bad decisions
And all my artistic visions
Til I'm no longer a poet
Just drugged with a pen

and you clung to me
the way wet jeans
stick to my legs
in hard rain
and we may have well been soaked
because that night
you cried enough tears
to flood this whole town
you cried enough tears
to drowned us both
it's a good thing we float
your heart was a storm
beautiful
mysterious
unpredictable
misunderstood
and let's not forget
potentially destructive
but i didn't care
i wanted to understand
to feel
to devour
every drop of your pain
every ounce of your shame
i wanted to show you
the sun inside you
i wanted to show you
the new day
that's waiting
behind your leaky eyes
and runny nose
and broken soul
but for now
you can cling to me
release you agonies
and i will never
let you think
that you are anything less
then gold
and i will never make you feel
that you are anything less
then whole
and i will never
let you sink
so hold me tight
and don't let go

She opened my heart with melodies and maladies
And closed my eyes
With kisses
And whispers
That dispersed the doubt
Until the darkness came out
Then she left and my eyes opened like clouds
Squinting through the rain at the sunny day.

god, what a relief it was
to find out he wasn’t real
after all

god, it was good to know
that we didn’t need him
after all