I think that when you are young you don't expect it to hurt as much as it does,
but really what do you know about love until you're sitting on your bathroom floor with blood coming out of your wrist, out of your thighs, what do you really know about love until it all comes crashing down on you and you are suffocating with thoughts of him
so you fall in love but he leaves,
and you stop washing your hair,
and you have creases in your skin from your bed sheets,
and your parents try to yell at you but they can't handle the blank stare your face so they stop coming to your room
and you will probably destroy yourself because that's all you want to do when you're young and the only person that mattered leaves,
so you will pull apart razor blades and hide them in spots for someone to find them, yet they never do,
and you'll start drinking to wash the taste of his love away,
and you'll run away without even leaving your bedroom,
and maybe you'll kiss too many boys who all look a little like him with the same clear blue eyes, who all mean nothing but mean all too much at the same time.
and you lose him not only once but every time you drunk dial his number just to hear the voicemail over and over again
and you lose him every time you see him smile at her
every time you see him plant his lips upon hers
every time he looks right through you as if he doesn't know everything there is to know about you
you lose him over and over and over again until you end up losing yourself as well
and you can't even sleep the reality away
because every time you close your eyes the image of your body entangled in his
poisens your brain with the hope for happiness
so you don't sleep and you don't eat and you don't do anything for months on end
and you're just so **** empty that you open up your veins and you find yourself and the bottom of a bottle every other night
just to feel something, I just want to feel something.
Maybe if I keep drinking I'll forget your name.