You know your growing when your just hungry for more you want more you want to achieve more you want to gain more when your shirt is covered in sweat and you still want to keep going. Your muscles can't even hold you and test your faith to see if you will finally break but your will holds it like a firm hand shake. making you want to push to your limit and break it where your not satisfied and hungry even though you got things going for you you want more and all I would love to say is Feed. Me. More. The struggle of a young adult that finally found the value to life.

When you take a zip of the devils drink you turn into a demon. An outcast. A baboon. The more you drink the harder the curse gets set into your soul. It takes your word apart and clouds your judgement. It makes you lose control but also respect that you earned. The trust you built with a child shattered like glass. The more the drink consumes you the more you lose in the long run. From having your family push you away to loosing your marriage. And just when the door is right there the door to salvation you take the easy way and let the drink consume your soul to rot through the core. Where your children don't even want a part of you and your wife has had it that is ready to sign the papers. Maybe I should be so cruel. Like you said you have no self control. Just wished I knew what caused the pain to show you there's another door even though it has dust and webs. But till that day comes I'll be here siting in my chair waiting and praying till that miracle turns into a reality.

Where it test the faith in someone but mostly yourself.
Where you always wonder and think how life would be different if you only lived minutes away but instead are miles apart. Where your anxious just waiting for a phone call or just a simple hello from your loved one. They say relationships ain't easy but long distance just throws a wrench to this beautiful nightmare. Where the love is tested and the faith is running through rough waters. The will to carry on even when you see the road right in front of you. Many can't handle many pack their bags and call it quits but to some. It's everything they work for. Everything they pray for. Where that one person that you feel right makes you cross borders and swims oceans. When you feel like you found the one it's more then just a battle it's a war. It's a war with your doubt your insecurities to even your faith. Thinking negative to asking yourself are you their smile just like they are to you? We live in a mad world that is as crazy as wonderland. We never know what to expect we never know what to plan but one thing I'm certain is when you feel in your heart that your with the one? Then all obstacles would just be a stepping stone to cloud nine.

When you look at yourself in the mirror and you notice something.
Your not the same person how you used to be.
Yeah you look more mature but your smile don't show.
Your eyes don't shine as your mom says.
You don't laugh like you used to.
You think your loved ones are crazy but one day it hits you.
Your not the same.
You don't smile the same.
Your eyes don't shine like they used to be.
Maybe this is growing up?
Or maybe your just walking through the rough path to lead to the next open door.
This world has a lot of twist and turns to meeting people and burning bridges.
From finding yourself to finding what your worth. It's an endless battle with yourself your mind or anxiety and your worst fears coming alive.
Maybe it's all a test.
A lesson by the sky above.
As I clean my face off from the drool from last night.
I notice myself.
And notice how much I've changed.
Maybe it's time to grow up and swallow that dreadful pill.
Dreams come true.
But effort motivates.
And passion makes the heart worth beating.
And the eyes the clear hazel eyes will finally one day shine again.
Till then.
Let's the rain come down and let the piano Play.

When you see your old love.
You see her happy
Smiling and shining like the sun.
Knowing that she's living her life without you.
Knowing that you treated her wrong to the point of a broken bond.
There ain't going back to it now.
Even if it's been five years.
And now I see the one thing I wished I did.
A lucky soul got the chance to put the ring on your finger.
I'm not mad I'm just sad but content.
Knowing the fact that could of been me but I blew it before I knew it.
Seeing you smile and shining like the sun.
You always are going to be my high school love.
And I wished I could go back and change time.
But I learned to be a better person because of you.
I learned to never take anything for granite. Your an angel and always will be one.
It took all of my teen years to finally forgive myself.
But to be honest with you.
I'm happy.
I'm happy that my sweetheart found happiness.
And I'm proud to say you were an important part of my life. Who knows if are paths will cross in another lifetime.
But you will always be my first Love.
And thank you.
Your an angel that deserves everything this world has to offer. Maybe this is the epilogue in the final chapter of our book.
Or maybe it's the ****** till the next one in the series.
But to this day before and after
I pray that your happiness last and your smiles keeps shining.

You know what I hate? When people from the past come back.
When I did everything for them to be there friend to support them to motivate them to be there when they had no one to turn to and push me to the side and put a bullet on my head like a cow to the slaughter house.
From people saying oh my god I miss you to saying I miss hanging out with you you were so special to me. **** that. *******. You just figured out what I'm worth. I'm not saying I'm perfect when I'm wrong I'm wrong and I take responsibility for that but when someone I used to have a bond with and they do me wrong and they're the ones that want to Come back? You burned that bridge. don't try building a new one because it's not build on the same foundation.

The best things in life are never easy.
From love to happiness to even teaching your goals.
It's a struggle it's a battle
It test the will it finds out how hungry you are.
From school to love to even simple goals
Life is a challenge
Life is a bittersweet candy.
Bitter in the beginning but always a sweet feeling at the end just my
Honest confession from the heart