When you look at yourself in the mirror and you notice something.
Your not the same person  you used to be.
Yeah you look more mature but your smile don't show.
Your eyes don't shine as your mom says.
You don't laugh like you used to.
You think your loved ones are crazy but one day it hits you.
Your not the same.
You don't smile the same.
Your eyes don't shine like they used to be.
Maybe this is growing up?
Or maybe your just walking through the rough path to lead to the next open door.
This world has a lot of twist and turns to meeting people and burning bridges.
From finding yourself to finding what your worth. It's an endless battle with yourself your mind or anxiety and your worst fears coming alive.
Maybe it's all a test.
A lesson by the sky above.
As I clean my face off from the drool from last night.
I notice myself.
And notice how much I've changed.
Maybe it's time to grow up and swallow that dreadful pill.
Dreams come true.
But effort motivates.
And passion makes the heart worth beating.
And the eyes the clear hazel eyes will finally one day shine again.
Till then.
Let the rain come down and let the piano Play.

What happened to us.?
We used to be the happiest team no matter if we had a good night or a rough one we were always there. The honeymoon phase may be over but is our connection over? From me waiting for a call or text and from the look of it it don't even have the same love just feels like your usual chore. I know I can be clingy I can be a little bit over when I express myself but there are times where i don't even say a word and I can't get simple hey babe and that's what hurts the most. I'm trying from my heart and soul I'm trying to make this work and last but I need you to join me I need you to fight for this just like I've been fighting for this because I've been putting everything for this team but a team ain't a one person it's two and I need you. I'm not trying to cause a scene I'm not trying to start a fight but I want you to know what I feel what I feel from the inside because so far I've been feeling cold and this cold shoulder ain't leaving any time soon till your break the ice .. This is what I mean when I say I miss you I miss us .. I don't know what's going on anymore but I want you happy.. With me or without me but that never would change the fact that I love you.. No matter how much you don't respond or act like you don't even have someone I love you.. That's all there it is to it ..

I'm a clutz .
I'm a hopeless romantic that has seen to many Disney movies with the belief that every princess needs that prince.
But in truth ever since I met you that idea that image has changed for me.
You never been the type to look for that prince to save you from the top of the tower you saved yourself.
You never been the type to believe in fairy tales
You never been the type to really like the cute little puppy love moments but after a while I saw it's grown on you.
My jokes.
My ideas.
My dreams.
My goals.
My puppy love little nicknacks .
I would be lying to you if I told you I'm calm no I'm not calm.
Never met someone like you.
Never never really felt these feelings like I have for you.
I'm trying my best to push aside the jokes and the cheesy corny jokes because just like every joke being used over and over looses its touch.
Just like a flower it's a delicate balance.
From not watering the flower it dies but. Also when you water it over its limit. It's a balance and little by little I'm learning those fundamentals.
I don't know what the future holds.
I don't know what runs through your mind at times.
But I would love to take my time.
Who knows maybe will both find something valuable inside of us.
But one thing for sure I can say.
I love you.
Simple as that.

They say trust me because I know what's going to happen.
They say believe me because I don't want you to end up hurt. they say your getting old but still treat you like a kid.
they say love but don't love at all.
They say some day your going to thank me but I feel trapped in a cage.
They say some day you'll understand but you do but you still feel like a flightless bird.
Maybe that's the adult life I don't know.

Do you know why?
Why I always panic?
Why I always worry?
Why I always ask all the stupid questions?
Why I'll ask you if you love me?
Because I never been anyone's first.
Never have been someone's fire
They're reason to keep fighting.
I've always been just the little spark like a cheap lighter.
Never have I ever been anyone's first.
I never had anyone ask me if I'm okay.
I had never had anyone to hold me not with their touch but with their soul.
I had never had someone cry to me
I had never had someone confess all there feelings and secrets.
You want to know why I ask all these stupid questions?
Because I've never had ever been anyone's first.
So for once in my pathetic life
I want this to last
I want this to work
I want this to be my true last.
Because your the first person to love me.
And all I can do is hope and pray.
Because you know what?
From my broken heart and trust from so long ago.
I want to let you know these words.
I love you.
I truly love you from my body and soul.
So please understand my way of thinking.
My worries
My anxiety
Because I've never been anyone's first. And I promise and pray.
That I'll be your last if ...
If you promise you'll be my last love from now and forever.

You say you love me but is it true?
Knowing the fact that I text you but you don't respond
But knowing that your on any social media having conversations but ours is always the last one of all.
Pushing me away in the day but confessing your love to me at night while my mind goes on the hunt looking for answers.
You say you love me but is it true?
You confess your love, tears in your eyes.
Telling me you love me your scared to lose me again.
You knew what I've done.
You knew the damage in my heart. Ghats why I need emotion
I need passion
I need effort.
I need to know that the woman I love truly loves me right to the core.
And I hope I find it soon.
Before my heart shatters and becomes a mess that will never be cleaned.