The build-up is slow.
Repress the emotion, the expression of feeling.
Catch the tears before they fall, and
Break the grief with your forced smile.
The fall is unexpected.
Once the tears well over the dam,
Once the frustration boils over,
Once you cannot weep in silence anymore.
The catharsis is quick.
The screams come all at once.
Cheeks are wet with rivers of sadness,
Forced smiles are shattered by frowns.
The aftermath is painful.
Looking around to see who remains;
Who hasn't left me?
Who hasn't been scared away?
The realization is shocking.
Those whom I've trusted most,
Those whom I've loved most,
Have shied away, saving themselves.
But the end, the end is striking, renewing:
You pick me back up,
You put me back together,
And I remember how to love again.

Sometimes brilliance is a broken light
Flashing on and off of it's own accord.
Blinding and flickering in synchrony.

Sometimes brilliance is a fickle *****
Flipping the switch of discord
-******. I lost it. Oh the irony.

See, sometimes we're inspired
And sometimes we're not.
You can tell the difference by a lot
Of instances in which brilliance fades
Like when you need the Ace of Spades
For that beautiful royal flush
But you've got a full house of mush and gush so you hush and blush at every word and signal thrown your way because at the end of the day all you are is summed up in the words you didn't say to those around you. The people you've lifted and the people you let fall, count it up, count it all. All the times brilliance failed and all the times you've prevailed are more than just a flickering light. They are your guide and they are your sight. Embrace them while you can for they just might be extinguished at the end of the night.

On the surface:
Porcelain skin,
lightly freckled face.
Long auburn hair.
Brown and green flecked eyes.
5'9, thick thighs, tight waist.
This is the girl you fell in love with.
The girl in front of you.
Just what you can see and feel and hold.
You did not fall in love with what is underlying.
Numb to most, angry with others.
Careful.. Never one to rush things.
A fan of perspectives.
An interest in different characteristics.
Curious about every little thing.
Inquisitive, kind.
A raging internalization of anger and frustration
and sadness.
Foundation ready to give out but she wont let it.
She patches up each new crack.
Lost her mind long ago
but never faltering her grip on reality.
It's tattooed on her.
She can't escape the harsh truths.
One being, people only see the surfaces.
Never digging even the slightest.
She's seen many lives lost before it was their time.
She's given up long ago.
Taught herself;
No one can be saved if they wont help themselves first.
Removed herself from
they who claw at the ankles
of people to be dragged down alongside them.
She holds her head up high when she feels herself sinking.
All alone, right beside you.
Always there when she's needed.
Never to have anyone hold her hand
or tell her she's strong.
She doesn't need to be told.
She knows that to survive what she has,
she must be anything but weak.
She will laugh in the face of the antagonist,
smile and ask how their day was, truly curious.
But you only see the surface.
She's just a pretty face.

today you squeezed my
arm the way i like
and said, "i miss
you all the
t
   i
     m
         e
            .
               "

So maybe he touched my soul
And claimed it was old
Stole it
With honest intent
To never return it to my body

So maybe he touched my hips
And sank his teeth into my lips
Ripped them
With honest intent
To never hear me speak

So maybe he drank my tears
And extracted every fear
Before walking
With honest intent
To leave me dehydrated

I think I'm gonna hang,
down by the willow tree that stands,
so tall it touches the sky.
Think it'll keep me tied to this earth?
I don't think it will, it doesn't care.
Down by the willow tree I'm going to hang.

A traveler stops by,
asks me why,
tell him I'm hanging to forget
and to be forgiven.

They untie the knot,
pull me down and say,
life ain't fair and it's definitely not easy,
but it's not worth hanging' yourself for.