Many have come to pry me open.
Many have come asking for the key.
Offering promises that the doubt would lessen,
flaunting their oaths as currency.

Plenty have assured that they're not like the others.
They promised that their words were forged in steel.
They had come with nothing else except to offer,
their ears and support just so to seal the deal.

"Forgive me", I'd say... I am still a tad apprehensive.
But I do feel the need to speak...
I do long for ears attentive,
Not the ones which are attached to mouths that easily leak.

I know that there are such ears...
Hard to find but they're definitely there.
They'd be ready to catch my tears,
more than willing to show concern and care...

Yours seem rather reliable... That much I see.
They've come with intentions seemingly untainted and kind.
Don't suppose they'd take my words ever so lightly.
They won't lap up my secrets with treachery in mind.

Again I find myself here at the same spot.
About to hand over the duplicate key.
This familiar leap I hope you'd have me caught.
Please don't give away my secrets for free...

You're right.
The world's not black anymore.
But it's still looking grey.

Okay.
It isn't night anymore.
But it surely isn't day.

The world isn't upside down anymore.
But I'm still not looking straight.

The door isn't locked up tight anymore.
But it's still a locked up gate.

I might not be standing still anymore,
But I'm still not ready to run.

My finger isn't on the trigger anymore.
But I haven't put down my gun.

You may not see me cry anymore.
But you still don't see me grin.

No, I'm not shutting you out anymore.
But I'm still not letting you in.

I'm shaking hands with the darkness.
And I'm shaking hands with the light.

But I can't let go of either,
Or they'll see each other and fight.

Don't assume that
Because I don't sink anymore,
That I must be flying.

Just because I'm not dead anymore,
Doesn't mean that I'm not dying.

If you're ever on the riverside
where the sun beats your head
you would see the old man
selling hats of palm leaf
but you care not to notice him
having already smelled the sea
and too keen to cross the river
travel southward on the island
till the saline wind scalds your eyes
your skins itch to jump into the waves
yet the man with the palm leaf hats
would not cease to tell you
how burning would be the sun on the sands
and so badly you need to protect the head
by parting bucks that mean nothing to you
but a world to the mouths he feeds
and before you stamp on him a final no
she has one atop her hair
beneath which her eyes flutter like butterflies
her sun rouged cheeks untimely blush
and two born anew lovers
merrily head for the sea
having bought romance
for forty bucks.

It’s funny, sort of
Every one of us here, at least most of us here, are alike in one way

We all share the same secret

Push your hair to the side, lean closer
I’ll whisper what you’ve refused to know in your ear

It isn’t good for us here

After all, catharsis works in both ways
We’re throwing our darkest soul corners out at these screens
Hour by wasted hour, the horror we relieve is refilled by haywire empathy

Why would we stay, you ask?
It’s an addiction, impossible to stay away

Imagine no rush of sharing, no reveling in thought,
No hiding in the words of others

We’re drawn back to these alphabet keys
The poetry of life haunting us all,
Chasing us through our deepest pain, herding us toward revelations we won’t understand
Controlling the world we see

We repress this whisper of truth, of course
We all know we’re not going to stop

But shhh! This is a
Secret
        Secrets are no fun unless you share with everyone.

open your eyes
to your own horrible nature

driftwood floating
amongst the sea of
fast asleep smiles
composing the ripples
of loving warmth
a lulling wafture
to the face of
reality
galaxy park awaits and
wakes
in my dream
and i arrive at
ease.