"Do you think less of me?"
"Why would you even consider that thought?"
He sounded offended.
"I guess failures make you less of a person."
He pulled me into a hug and breathed to my hair.
Shushing the chaos that took residence
in the crevices of my thoughts.
In that moment, failing seemed
to be worlds away.
He looked at me like I was magic,
and maybe I was.
Maybe I was too preoccupied
highlighting my flaws,
and there he was counting
all the amazing things
that I deny day in and day out.
He looked at me like I can do anything,
and maybe I actually could.
Maybe I could be invincible,
because it sure as hell felt
like it whenever he smiles at me
with the silent words saying
"I'm proud of you, always."
Maybe I am set for
greater things, maybe I am so
much more than I give myself
credit for,
maybe I am meant to be a
supernova in the vastness of his galaxy.
How could this amazing man
hug a ticking bomb as if
cradling a new born child?
How could he see past the
imperfection and still call
me beautiful?
How could a man like him
exist in a world full of
doubts and cynicism?
And maybe I am actually winning
in life despite the failures
because I have him.

In my journey
       there was you.
the unknowable item
    or the unforeseen someone.

I've always knew you were there.
watching, listening in the far corner.

You're the darkness I tried to lighten up.
No matter how much I tried to fuel up
I came out, almost dried up.

You needed help,
I needed help,
we are both, lost soul.

Which is heavier, my body or this heart of mine?

The quantity of the heart is much harder to reassure.
Life is full of assumptions and depressing pressures.
Undecided but I’m riding the ocean waves.
Instinct is my driven force, wanting to be brave.

I walk in a road where the path has a dead glow.
I kiss the shadow of nothing, to endure - I stay low.
Obedient as I am, the ocean is my starting point, down below
       to where I creep and swim in slow-mo.

My feet had grown cold doing what he has been told.
The needy feeling had gone old.

I open my heart to go bold.
Just another piece of my life unfolds.

Doors*  *in the empty Twilight.
I am just a single step away,
Yet never finding the courage
               to just open one of them.

Possibilities…

*A thousand sighs as I wait.
I stood still, as I hold into the moments,
Looking, looking, & still looking…

All I wanted is a flickering sign
For me to barge in
without any hesitation
and bleed in accord to whatever
    outcomes that lays within.

I’m not as loved as you think I am
I am just someone who thinks of love
share it at times but
I never got to have it.