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May 2016 · 759
insomnia
jcc May 2016
when you’re here with me
we are up all night
when you’re not by my side, i can’t sleep
funny how the day you walked in my life
was the day i became an insomniac
{j.c.c.}
May 2016 · 456
worship
jcc May 2016
i am powerless in your presence,
you’re the evidence of things not seen,
a beauty i can’t un-see,
see, you’re everything i’ve been praying for
my mind stays on you, my lips can’t say much more
your essence is the evidence of
prophesies; your presence is deific
magnificent is your image as you
baptize me in this new religion
you got me prostrating, your heavenly body is so amazing,
you make *** feel like divine revelations
i run my hands down the small of your back and it
is smooth as the ponderosa of a harpsichord,
spine subtly dimpled like the pebble-grain of a hymnal
this union we’ve made is not holy,
dulcet notes hit my ear the second you spoke to me,
you must be a goddess, baby
you radiate with the same intensity as the countenance of the sun
i get between your knees and
bless you with a thousand tongues
you’re dripping a lovely tincture;
it runs down my lips like holy scriptures
concupiscence is slowly
evolving into firm convictions,
throw away all inhibitions and
give into our carnal rhythms
i know our spirits intertwining,
for the first time, i feel christened
though we broke free of tradition…
you may be the goddess, but in the end,
i’ll be giving the commands
you’ll try to get a grip on reality
while you’re gripping the bed
you’ll feel a “hallelujah” deep down
without you clasping your hands
i’ll have you calling on a higher power just for you to call on him again
we are birds of a feather,
our souls merge perfectly together
our bodies intercede, while your hips reply to me,
it’s always sweet communion when i’m looking in your eyes
your smile is bright white ivory, something unrivaled
i could die in between your thighs and experience revival
{j.c.c.}
May 2015 · 484
if
jcc May 2015
if
i:\>if**
if i loved myself as
much as i expected
someone else to,
i wouldn-t have to
write so much
j:\>jcc
don't let anyone love you more than you love you...
May 2015 · 3.4k
ghosts
jcc May 2015
g:\>ghosts**
i find it hilarious how we
are never actually
haunted by restless spirits,
but by folks that are
still alive...
j:\>jcc
May 2015 · 521
come over
jcc May 2015
c:\>comeover**

come over
i wanna trace hearts along
the lines of your skin to find
myself tracing thin air
in the near future

come over
i wanna make you lightheaded and
weak-in-the-knees
i wanna make rebreathers obsolete
cuz we share oxygen so efficiently
i-ll kiss you until both our mouths
are raw from being in constant proximity...
...only to spend nights
yearning for your touch
when you-re not around

come over
i wanna tell you how you light up my world.
i-ll do the math.
i-ll count the stars to realize
their combined brightness cannot add
up to the radiance you bring to my life...
this way i can calculate how much
darker my universe will be
in your eventual absence

come over
i wanna be real with you.
i wanna be able to discuss
my trials & tribulations
and fears with you—
you-ll see the darkest
parts of my mind...
…you-ll delve the deepest
parts of my soul
you-ll give me a shoulder to cry on...
...i-m sure a year from now,
those tears will transfer to my pillow

come over
i wanna make sincere love to you,
i-m talking that ground-breaking,
earth-shaking,
body shuddering,
resolve renewing,
intimate, desperate,
instinctual,
rubbingyourtemples2makesenseofwhatisgoingon-type love
you-ll feel too many sensations at once
i will gaze deeply into your eyes
and grin when i see
divine providence
staring right back
i-ll need it when i-m
self-destructively
sleeping with women
hoping to replace (or possibly recreate)
what we had.
naw...just—

come over
i wanna listen to music with you...
…you-ll share your taste in music with me,
i-ll share mine
i-ll come to appreciate jon b.,
maxwell, kem,
and brian mcknight
you-ll learn to love daley,
james blake, the **,
and denitia & sene
i-ll find a myriad
of my fav songs through you
i-ll appreciate having a song(s)
that make me think of you...
...especially when it plays...
...in that café i frequent...
and i get that
pit in my stomach...
...long after we parted ways

come over
i wanna let my guard down.
i-ll make myself vulnerable again
for you...
...just for you...
everyone else gets my
campaign-season poker face
but not you
i-ll love you w/every
fiber of my being—
all my heart, my soul,
my consciousness,
my unconsciousness too...
all of that,
you-ll be able to deem property of you
i will give you all of me
so that after it is all over,
we can go back to being strangers…
...cuz you know that
more than anything else,
i-ll wanna be able to pretend
like we never met—no—like you don-t exist
until the pain goes away.
...
but until then you-re
welcome to come over.
j:\>
jcc_
May 2015 · 407
café musings
jcc May 2015
c:\>cafémusings**
in a café,
sipping expensive coffee by the exit
i don-t need a philosophy lesson from you
how am i in a packed café
yet feel so alone?
couples are abundant
when you don-t have one
to call your own
i-m envious of those who have
found the love of their lives
i-m impatiently waiting
to stake claims to mine
at night, i experience
fears,
tears,
i-m far too despondent to
let self-confidence interfere
but naw,
lord, you-re all i need to live
but you could hurry up
and remove one of my ribs?
i just want someone who-ll make
my heart speak,
my knees weak,
help me feel complete
i want someone that-ll melt me
with a gentle touch
so i can succumb to her body heat
to please,
to love,
to hold and never let go,
just for support, of course
we won-t always agree,
but at least we-ll make it work
i am confident i-ll find my love
someday; in the meantime,
i need to leave this café
j:\>
jcc_
May 2015 · 2.9k
black on both sides
jcc May 2015
b:\>blackonbothsides**
my alignment may be left,
but what i-m saying-s very right,
we-re always getting high,
but we don-t achieve new heights
i got this verbal glock locked and loaded,
so you know this whole audience in my sights

so our mind-frame may be the same plane,
but we-re on separate flights
day and night, the hatred b/t us blacks
rocks me the core
in school, we fail through
the easiest courses,
our reign in the motherland used to be so,
that the royal heir-s crown circulation
was tighter than most corsets

even back when they whipped the backs of
my ancestors,
when the blood was wet and coursing
modern day enslavement was being
set in motion and
some say to me,
"your cadence is like a ******,
stop trying to force it"

how so when i have this
rhythm and river flow
that can-t be found in faucets?
we lost it, our way has never been
the same since our civil rights gains
and tremendous losses, in the media,
were lawless monsters lacking a conscience

why do we only mention black people
in the illuminati talks?
i tell you what, i haven-t forgotten
that reagan ran iran-contra
man, it-s bonkers, crazy how we sold
our souls for a few dollars

black women twerking like they forgot
sarah baartman
ever since the 60s,
our growth has *******
we emerged as a race of progress,
but now all i see is problems

we aren-t erasing problems, right now,
we are a race of problems,
now how we gonna solve em
when the ink scars go deeper than
the reach of solvents?
racists beat me and embarrassed me,
but that just made me stronger,
so how you gonna rain on my parade
then expect me not to blossom?

we wanna be ******, hoes,
pimps, jump-offs, and playas,
funny how we didn-t get out
slavery too long ago,
yet chains and whips still dominate us
***;? that song was not a coincidence

a black woman saying chains
and whips excite her?
no artistic freedom for our black artists,
authors, our writers?
iggy azalea can be all she can be
and still be a "great writer"?

that couldn-t have fooled me in the slightest,
the highest risers and high officials are
working in the dark so heartless,
this proves that the worlds governed
by a power so awesome
i am just asking for protection from
premeditated arrangement of the "free" market

these arms races is the united states
and other nations displaying whose
bullets can go the farthest
this poem goes out to
the leaders and followers,
skeptics and believers,
the weak and fatherless
i hope this speech reaches the
rest of populous,
i-m a martyr, so let me
hang free for the audience

to me, this microphone is a living being
that i choke and never let breathe
but i-ll never let a mac-11 ever represent me!

i told my little cousin, “don-t you believe in
that ignorance you hear in the streets,
if you got a brain, you ain-t flippin' ye
or palmin' your heat,
and don-t you listen to all the
words you hear from elites

so if they are gunning for your head,
duck under the beam; so if they are
coming for your throne, civilly disobey,
don-t you let them take your seat,
“and once you-re in the race,” i told him,
“you better run on your hands
so you never see defeat.”

after i was done droppin' this knowledge,
this prolific deposit, he thought of
all the things i stated,
i told him, “our potential is far beyond the confines
of traps and the cages
so pool your wages and don-t conform
to the way the media portrays us”

so b/f you get the inclination
to declare that by my word choice,
i must be half white,
i-m pleased to let you know
that i-m black on both sides.
j:\>
jcc_
May 2015 · 667
assume the position
jcc May 2015
a:\>assumetheposition**
i know you been
looking forward to this
girl, you know what i like...
now assume the position
no this isn-t love,
this is simply friction
no i don-t think
i-m afraid of love,
i-m afraid of commitment
cuz commitment implies limits
and you are not the sky
you-re just a guide
through turbulent times
when hormones run high,
our inhibitions absent,
and our self-esteem
is missing...
lest we forget about reality
in the midst of our tryst,
as our bodies glisten
don-t act so innocent,
don-t act so holy,
don-t act indignant...
you-re just using me
for your lust too,
also as a friend
who will listen
you might try to
read something deeper
into this, go ahead...
i know you enjoy works of fiction
so back to the thesis:
assume the position
j:\>jcc
May 2015 · 5.3k
airplanes
jcc May 2015
a:\>airplanes**
if i could cut my
feelings off at any time...
best believe i-d be on
airplane mode most
of my life
j:\>jcc
May 2015 · 2.4k
about race
jcc May 2015
a:\>aboutrace**
oh, back in civil rights times
i would have been right
beside you fighting...
oh, what the hell you mean?
there-s no such thing as
racist police,
the conversation
should be about
black-on-black violence...
besides if he pulled up his pants
he wouldn-t have been profiled then
sure, mlk was killed in a suit,
but he was speakin' wild, man...
oh, and besides, i don-t see race,
i have colorblindness...
except if a poc gets a job over me,
then that-s the only
reason why they hired him...
why do we talk about racism,
it doesn-t exist, for
godssake can-t you see we have
a black president...
oh, please don-t play the race-card,
besides no one is more discriminated
against than we are...
oh, blacks shouldn-t say the n-word,
just cuz of how dreadful it sounds
oh, since we are best friends
can i say '*****' now, huh?
you won-t let me say it???
that-s discrimination! things are
different now, you are no longer
in enslavement...
catch up with this nation,
catch up with the times,
this isn-t about race,
why don-t you admit it?
just because i-m white doesn-t
mean i have privilege...
i mean open your eyelids,
i know blacks never got
indentured servitude
but for a second,
can we focus on the irish?
they suffered too, even if they
won-t subjected to
the same ****, kidnapping,
mental breakdown to force subjugation,
and violence.
sure we always ostracized black people
but y-all put y-allselves on an island
y-all will get more respect if y-all just
stop embracing your race, your heritage
stop calling yourselves black
and african-american,
just call yourselves american
stop complaining,
and just be silent
i don-t like talking about race
so much controversy surrounds it...
you know the only way to stop
racism is just don-t talk about it.
j:\>
jcc_
i adopt the language of a typical bigot who does not realize he or she is a bigot to sarcastically lay waste to common talking points about racism
May 2015 · 309
6 inches
jcc May 2015
6:\>6inches**
if you-re reading this
and asking god "how?"
the answer is "pills"
...it was the pills
that did me in
i finally crossed that large item
off my "to-do" list...
it has been a long time coming,
but you know i have always had
an issue with chronic procrastination
i have postponed it for too long
sought too many ways to
rationalize
such radical visions
in my mind,
i have live and died
several million times
in those million visions,
i didn-t find many answers
instead more persistent questions
most of them are
ontological in nature...
those i don-t think about
cuz i would loathe to think
that i would still be tormented
by darkness comparable to
that which creeps into my mind
when i-m by myself
all i know is
there is a
distant between
the heart and the brain
of about half-a-foot
and there-s a distinct
possibility
i just missed heaven
by six inches
j:\>
jcc_
May 2015 · 360
2 the moon and back
jcc May 2015
2:\>2themoonandback*
...i could never understand
why she said that...
...the irony.
she thought she was
saying something deep.
she used to say,
“i love you to the moon and back.”
funny, she predicted how
our relationship would end:
her loving me “out of this world”
only to return back down to earth...
now lemme tell you something—
when a love is supposed to last,
you love them to the moon
and you ******* *stay
there.
...you stay there.
you don-t “go back.”
cuz while you-re going back,
they-re out alone in space...
...because your conceited ***
thinks the universe revolves around you.
news flash: it doesn-t.

— The End —