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japheth Aug 2018
now that i think of it,
i was never
the victim.

i was a fighter.

and i fought so hard
that when i noticed
you were losing,

i decided to
give up
and
let you win.
so strive hard, fighter.
japheth Aug 2018
you came here
unto my battle field
planting flowers
that resemble
your promises,
your kisses,
your hugs
— your love.

you filled the ground
with lots of different kinds:
each representing
your love for me
and it was beautiful.

as we lay on the bed
of flowers
you planted,
i sighed
and remembered
the battles that took place in this
ground of mine.

even though
the ground’s already dead,
you did your best
to plant each and every one of
those flowers with care anyway.

“it’ll die anyway, so why bother?”
i said softly, holding your hand.

you smiled and said,
“but it looks gorgeous right?
let’s savor this moment still.”
and as the flowers whither, i cry again.
japheth Jul 2018
sad
i’m
sad
and you know
what makes me mad?

is when i feel
that my sadness
isn’t valid—

that my feelings aren’t
important.
pet peeve: cancelled plans
japheth Jul 2018
if i get the chance
to write a letter to say goodbye,
i’ll probably leave it blank
— don’t ask me why.

if i get the chance
to collect all our pictures
and put it in a collage,
i’ll probably not do it all
— again, don’t ask me why.

if i get the chance
to see you one last time:
hold you again and kiss you goodbye,
i’ll probably take it
but turn around at the last second
with my head down as i cry.

don’t ask me why.

don’t ask me why
i’ll waste all these chances
to say farewell,
because our love ended
and it didn’t end well.

don’t ask me why
i’ll give in to my sadness
when we could’ve had saved this
because
even if i tried to give my best
it’ll just end up the same;
a big old mess.

don’t ask me why
i’d rather leave than stay,
why i choose to walk away,
because all i’ll probably say is:
we tried
but love ran away.
japheth Jul 2018
the sound of rain
always calms me
—it drowns out my anxiety.

starting from the roof of my head,
carrying any doubts that get stuck on my skin
gently moves it course through
my arms,
my stomach,
my legs,
and
trickles all the bad memories
down to the gutters of my toes.

the sound of rain
even without it
touching me,
it calms me.

what more
if i went out
and had myself drenched
will i feel it on the outside too?
it’s raining again
japheth Jul 2018
there’s no such thing
as a perfect timing;

it’s just timing.

we say perfect when it
only favors
the way we see things
and not how life sees it.

we have to understand
that apart from
the joy life brings,
sometimes
timing includes

pain,
suffering,
regret,
and anxiety

and it’s okay.
it’s time for you to feel that way.

my dear, we’re stronger.
please if you read this note, please send me hugs and assuring messages down below because i’m not feeling so good
japheth Jul 2018
let the battlefield
you’ve fought on
grow flowers
before you come back.
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