Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
 
Jack Jenkins Aug 2017
why is it
everyday
i give my
best to the
world
my best
to people
&
all I get
in return
is the
worst
from
everyone?
Spent the whole weekend meditating on my life and why things are the way they are. I understand why I am bitter and jaded now. The only question is do I have a right to be? I'm angry. I don't get angry often.
Jack Jenkins Aug 2017
my heart is hollow glass
a beautiful crimson shell
with a void inside
Almost an unintentional haiku. That's a first...
  Aug 2017 Jack Jenkins
Grey mirror
You say you have found
Your remedy
You say it gives you ecstasy.
It's the only therapy
that keeps you Sane.

But my dear,
All I see is a life in vain.

You withdrew yourself from society
You said it brought you enmity.
You preferred to be cuddle
by your remedy.

It keeps you warm,
It numbs the pain.
It quenches your desires.
It lits up a fire.
You feel safe.

But my dear,
you have lost your way
Your mind is clouded dark grey.
You're blinded by foggy days.
I hope you come back
to your sense.
Open your eyes and look through
your lens.

Don't let your remedy
**Be your death penalty.
Dedicated to those struggling with addiction​.
Jack Jenkins Aug 2017
When the fires are all around me
Blazing my skin to ashes
I reach & nobody helps
For I am forlorn
Desolate...
Jack Jenkins Jul 2017
this is the core
of my prayer to You:

all I have is a scrap
deeply wounded faith
darkness tries to swallow me whole
the devil & his demons flay me

Throughout my trials and tribulations
the Lord has wounded me greatly
as I have also wounded myself
& been wounded by life

Still the Lord carries me daily
as He carried me on a Cross one Passover Day
I am slain daily by things within and without my control
the pain too burdensome to bear

Yet He gifted me stubbornness of spirit
to not give up in spite of the hurt
I thank Him for the gift of making me a warrior
to fight in this brutal spiritual war

His Spirit renews me daily
even when I turn away
lost amongst carnalities of life
until I am broken again

*Jeremiah 17:7-8

Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord,
And whose hope is the Lord.
For he shall be like a tree planted by the waters,
Which spreads out its roots by the river,
And will not fear[ when heat comes;
But its leaf will be green,
And will not be anxious in the year of drought,
Nor will cease from yielding fruit...
Today is my parents 31st anniversary. It's been a year since my father's sins were brought to light and my life began it's decent into the valley.

I've seen domestic abuse, my parents get arrested, 5 friends commit suicide, a failed relationship with somebody I loved, the internal turmoil and moral conflict of a man I hated getting murdered, the loss of countless friendships due mostly to just life, the loss of my best friend of 7 years because I was suicidal and she in essence told me to ******* because it was my fault, helping the misfits of life just by being a friend and shoulder to lean on, a job that could be going belly up in a few months because we're hemorrhaging money without any gain, the hard decision to quit staffing at the local youth group because I am so totally drained emotionally and physically 24/7, and dealing with severe chronic depression and PTSD...

well, as you can tell it's taken a toll on me... and like I already said, it's all happened within 365 days... I'm not a perfect Christian; I cuss like a sailor and struggle through a *** addiction. But I know God ain't gonna leave me. Because no matter where I am, He is there. No matter how I am, He is greater. No matter who I am, He is still Father. Nothing in this fallen world or the eternity thereafter will ever change Him.
Jack Jenkins Jul 2017
warm rocky outcrops
lead to hot springs below
a pleasant respite
  Jul 2017 Jack Jenkins
Hannah
Entry~
*Recovery is hard. It doesn't matter if you're recovering from drugs, an eating disorder, or self harm in general. The journey back to a healthy state of mind is long, tiring, and lonely. Too often do we keep our demons locked away because we're afraid the ones we love will turn their heads the other way. I know talking about addiction isn't on the top of everyone's list. It's uncomfortable. It's easier not talk about it, to forget the problem even exists. To the people who prefer to keep these problems quiet, "How well has that worked over the last 20yrs"? When friends start overdosing, or starving to death, "How will you feel when you realize you closed the door on them"? Talking is meant to heal. When phrases slip out like, "Just stop talking about it," the stigma that addicts should suffer alone is validated. This is a major problem. It triggers feelings of unworthiness and self hatred, which fester and loop inside the addicts head. "How can you reach someone if you aren't willing to hear them"? Refusing to listen to someone's story, whether it's from them directly, or from a friend expressing concern, is extremely selfish. In fact, being around friends who behave like this can be detrimental to recovery. If you know someone who is struggling, but you can't be of support to them, keep your distance. It's better to stay away, then to occupy a seat vital for their journey. Just offer a silent support. It's better that way.
I am not a drug addict. I've been recovering from anorexia over the last 3 years. It's been a very long/silent journey. I know what it's like to wake up every morning knowing you can't talk about what you're about to face. I've always struggled with talking about my ed. It changes the vibe in the room. Most conversations end with, "Why don't you just eat"?
Next page