now i'm just a ghost in your bed
can you feel me where i used to lay my head
do you miss me
i hope you miss me

One thing they don't tell you when your older is how suppressed childhood memories will effect your life in small and big ways.

"I just haven't found the right guy," you think.

They don't tell you that once the two of you make it official, you'll leave within a week.

They don't tell you how once you kiss him, you can't even look him in the eyes anymore.

They don't tell you the gentlemanly things make you uncomfortable..

You'd rather freeze than let him give you his jacket.

You'd rather walk to your front door alone.

You'd rather open the doors yourself.

They don't tell you how his ***** hands will stop you from loving any boy.

They don't tell you that your father took your innocence at age 3,

but they sure as hell won't let you remember it.

why'd you let this fall through?
i tried everything
realized there was nothing i could do
do you feel anything?
i thought this would be some always forever
but you don't want forever
you thought this was some one night
i feel the pain, you felt the pleasure

We are
absolutely
toxic
for each other,
but I
don't mind.

Put your curly hair and green eyes

In the spot between my thighs

go to the doctor
keep weights in your pocket

don't forget to eat
change topic

"i'm not hungry"
eat

"i ate earlier"
don't forget to eat

when i think of your hands on my face
my strands of hair at your place
when the ways you hurt me
scarred my mind and burned me
i can't help
but to still love you

i still remember your birthday
and your favorite color
how we got together on a thursday
and when i left you in the summer

a rough draft of your prized paper
a culmination of your favorite qualities
a curiosity turned commodity
i was never something you could save for later

quiet riot quiet riot
all these things I try to say
but you won't buy it
all your colors fade away when you keep lying.

continue taking pills
Even though you're dying
is there any way
you can try and fight it?

"oh it's just another diet,"

but we all know the truth
staring right back at you.
we are your real friends
the toilets play pretend.

silly girl, you don't need silly toilets.