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She thanks him for the scars she got
As they helped her become numb
She thanks him for the tears she wept
As they helped her become strong
She thanks him for her crushed hopes
As they helped her to grow up
She thanks him for the words he threw
As they helped her build her walls
She thanks him for the worst years of her life
As they helped her appreciate the years later

Yet she curses him for all the innocence he tarnished
As she now sees the world and its reality.
Time can heal wounds but can't make you forget them
If every song I wrote to you
would take your breath away
Then why am I suffocating?
Things aren't going right

I'm lost in darkness
No, I'm not alright

All I see is black and white
I miss you dearly love

Come back to my life

I want to see the light
I need you more than ever

But you're no where in sight

I can't keep up this fight
I want to sleep for once

Suicide's in my mind tonight
_
She is empty
A lost soul
Finding meaning and purpose to this **** world

She's almost close into breaking down
She just holds it for a little longer
But eventually, she will
Last night, I fell apart.
I woke up blanketed in sodden ash,
Tears saturated into the eruption's fallout
The proximity of crackling fire assaulting my senses,
I was still angry.

I felt intoxicated, drunk on words never said
But the ones that were spoken lay spiked into my head
Partners apart, but strangers together
The hawks are gone in my life, but you can still find the feathers

Questions slicing through my mind
I run away from stormy brine
These tears that fall, I think you know
Have haunted me since long ago

Buried in formaldehyde
These skeletons reflect our inside
The secrets that we made to keep
Take me before I fall asleep

Though you're my fixer and my mess
The walls echo with you less and less
I fear it's not you running from me
I'm forgetting what we used to be
"You want them when they don't want you,
Soon as they do, feelings change"
 Jul 2015 Theresa Marie
Nikita
What are the chances that you are reading my poem right now

What are the chances that reading this could affect your life somehow

I mean I could've changed your life and nor you or anyone else would realize it
A Dimension Of Suicide

I find it mysteriously sad,
watching my footprints in grass
Begin to fade,
With the upward bending of each returning blade.
My path is gone,
Aside from what I am standing on,
But what if.... where I see tufts in lawn,
My mirrored footprints pushing up and lasting long,
Into my world he pushes in,
A happy man with a stronger print.

As I wake  with a worldly dream still inside my head,
I try to store it in the window beside my bed.
Reaching to touch a star and feeling the cold of glass instead,
I realize so close a world
since waking--has long been dead.

A silverscreen of car headlight beams,
gliding my walls conveys a supernatural theme,
Faster and faster,
'till the motion stills a scene,
In another world,
A man it seems?
Or a silky spectral suit
of asphyxiating white--
back to the color
of skeletons from dirt exhumed.
With an unbecoming
oblivion colored tie,
So flawlessly destroying
Edges onto spectral light.
And this suit would animate,
Gasping, trying to adjust,
The imperceptable knot,
Destroying, his tailored cumulus.

This tie stung with such a prelude,
it would only be akin,
to only one other view.
the wasp coming down the spider's tunnel,
and knowing your home is now your tomb,
stung, helpless,
waiting for the eggs to hatch,
and then consumed.


Just looking into where I will be ending,
In destroying digestion,
I was already dissolving,
In darkness ensphered
looking out its lining
into a more abysmal atmosphere.

I woke,
And touched a star on a cold window drawn,
To quickly make this dream be gone,
I ran barefoot outside,
To stand till dawn--
Grateful,
For holding down blades of cold wet lawn.
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