My room,
Both a death camp and a safe zone,
Rather wither away,
Than face execution.

Open door,
Deep breath,
Failure.

Hand over my feelings,
back to bed,
laying there,
friends were a conspiracy.

Leaving this house a teenage floor of lava,
To the armory,
Wield headphones and an over grown coat.

Open door,
Deep breath,
Stand.

The sun hurt as if i just left a space ship,
Fear of both know and unknown,
On this planet I was the alien.

Open gate,
Deep breath,
Walk.

Pavements conveyor belts,
Pushing out ghouls of society,
Cubicle bound,
Grey walls.

Yet still asked why so scared,
Of what I wish was just in my head,
This earth,
The land of dead.

I've been climbing up these stairs for so long now,
But I'm still standing from where I started this brawl,


Is this a joke or am I part of a haunted story,
Cause lately I've been deprived of all the light and glory,


I try so hard to take one more step ahead,
But I fall back even harder instead,


I can hear the voices telling me to let this go,
Except that I am not ready yet to **** my own show,


How do I beat this out with merely a house of cards?
I'm not even an expert at beclouding my battle scars.

my

fearless we
elongate the
numbness
into a
kiss of
silent *admiration

Its getting more and more difficult to breathe
Maybe its just my mind
But something tells me Im not as healthy as I seem.

My chest tightens
I freeze
I get scared and cry easier
If you really understood what anxiety
Felt like
Then you wouldnt be so mean.