“I want you more than I love you,” He said.

The world will try to tell you to move on, to forget, to suppress, but you must not let them convince you. Your body will feel like it is collapsing into itself, your lungs will stop working, and your tears will sting your cheeks. Remember to feel these things. What you are experiencing is real, and physical. Remind yourself that you are physical. Press your hand to your chest and feel your broken heart continue to thrive. Notice the way your body continues to support you when everything around you seems to be crumbling.

2. Do not hide; it is not weakness you are showing. Your emotions are the armor that no one can strip from you. Cry, argue, and scream if you must. Those who question you will not understand. Remember that your emotions are temporary but they are your own. Do not offer up excuses, you do not owe an explanation.

3. Take note of those around you. They will smile and tell you that this is only a moment that will pass, and that everything will get better. Know that they have faced death, loss, betrayal, and pain. They have felt their lungs collapse and felt the sting on their cheeks. Notice how they smile. Believe them when they tell you it will get better.

4. You must move outward. Force your broken soul to mend itself. Straighten your crooked spine, and command your lungs to accept the generosity of the air. Breathe deeply. Breathe fully. Do not take shortcuts when mending your mind. Allow yourself time to appreciate the movements around you. Join them. Take note of each step that leads you closer to your goal.

5. Finally, remember that you are alive. Look toward someone with a broken heart. Take their hand. Smile. Remind them that it will get better.

He told me commitment was too hard
with a cigarette in his mouth
and tattoos across his skin

-h.w.

What if you find someone new? What if you already have? What if it’s all a game? What if she’s better for you than I am? What if you never really meant what you said? What if tomorrow I don’t hear from you? What if tomorrow I do hear from you? What if I can’t handle this weight on my chest? What if my lungs give out? What if I love you? What if you don’t love me? Do you love me?

What if you mean what you say? What if you’re telling the truth? What if I’m important to you? What if you want to make this work? What if this works? What if I get what I want? What if I’m it for you? What if I love you? I do love you. What if you love me? Do you love me?

What then?

-h.w.

He is a haiku
Tragically short and sweet
And you’re still breathless
-h.w.