Don't ever make me think that I made the wrong choice by sticking with you through thick and thin because I might just leave one day and that'll leave you into thinking "why?"
and you'll never know the reason because you never did the effort to make me stay....

You asked me once to write about you.
What would I write, though?
Words cannot capture your devilish grin
or the way your red hair shines.
Words can't tell of how you make me draw a breath
when you press your lips to mine.
Words do not begin to tell the story your eyes can with a simple glance.
Stories of regret and pain.
Stories that kept you from ever being the same.
I cannot find any words that would show the world
just how much you mean to me.
You are the moon and all the stars.
You light up my nights.
You are the sun, brightening my days.
You are every dream I have ever had
and every wish I have desperately whispered at 11:11.
You are more than any messy poem could ever convey.
Here is your poem, my darling.
I'm sorry it's not better, but the only words that even begin to explain how I feel are I love you.
I'm not sure how it happened, but I do.

If you could, would you
Trade all these words
For the peace of mind
That you never got

If you could, would you
Wipe off all your memories,
scars and lessons
And restart

if you could, would you
Let the heart give away its last beat
To some goodbye
You think should never exist

As to what I would do
I am not so sure
All I can do is sit and ponder
What might have happened

If I had chosen to let you go
When I still had it in me

She looks in the mirror
At the age on her face
"I wonder what he thinks
of me this way?"

She considers her weight
and the pores on her skin
She thinks out loud
"I don't deserve him."

She picks apart
the woman he loves
Separating her worth
from all that she does
              
He looks in her eyes
and caresses her face
He sees it glowing with love
and full of grace

 The lines on her face
  he views with pride
  Recounting the victories
  each time they've been tried

The weight that she carries
 is that of a mom
 Nothing's too heavy
 She just marches on

These bodies will perish
 and mirrors offer no truth
True love abides
 beyond the corridors of youth

  No, she doesn't deserve me
  Perhaps God can see
  Conceivably, one day
  I'll be as worthy as she

I know I promised
I'd never write about you again
but it's five am and I am left
with this visceral feeling of
loss and anger

I use to think you stripped
Me of everything
Now I realize you didn't.
See, I forgot about the cross
The burden of love
You sentenced me to

Your name is Judas
and I will accept
the crown of thorns
and become a martyr
for ever believing that
true love existed
in your eyes

when you’ve traced
every corner of my body
and have felt
the brittleness of my bones
—and when you’ve brushed
your fingers
through every inch
of my skin,
promise me
you won’t break me

when you’ve bit my lips
and find it bleeding
know that I’m vulnerable to your lies

and when you’ve kissed my tears
and find my eyes lost
know that I’m fragile to your touch

These days...

Are you sitting alone in the quiet and cold
or surrounded by friends with your colors and smoke
Are you thinking of me as you fall back to sleep
Or grinningly praising the silence and peace

Is your love still the same
Are you glad that I'm gone
Do you miss me at all
Are you happy alone?

Yeah
These days...

I knew that I cared more
****, probably too much
but now I can't eat or find joy in the comfort
of knowing you're finally happy - you're free
But did it really take you not talking to me?

God, just tell me straight
Did you want me to stay? Please...
know I'm around
Are we better this way

...these days

You're still my everything
Yeah, that'll never change
But I need commitment and love
not these tears you're proud of
You say you're a man; are you happy again?
Well, ****.

I still see you and Zuri,
I still miss my lover,
but I need security the way you need me not to hover.
I want peace and partnership
You want casual relationships
We both can't win
and we're fighting again

These days...

I get it now
I really do see
Insouciance doesn't make you worse than me
and being so invested doesn't make me right.
We want different things -
is this worth the fight?

And one day I hope you will want to be mine
But you need some space
and I need some time
to forget your ambivalent shove toward shame
and the way that it hurt you to call out my name.

But I am still here
Your pain is still mine
and though I know love tends to fade over time
I swear that mine won't
One day you will see
One day you'll remember

And it will still be
...these days.