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 Dec 2015 Leslie Jade
K Alexys
I wish my mom loved me.
I wish my brothers cared.
I wish my father was a dad
Who was always there.
I wish life had more ups
I mean im always going down.
I wish the overdose would **** my liver faster by now.
in the deepest and utmost corner of my heart
the pain is being hidden

and on the outside
you will witness
my sweetest smile

if only
you will catch a glimpse
behind those eyes
is the loneliness that being kept

if only
you will stop and stare for awhile
you will find out
that i am in despair

i was wondering
if the saying

"in the eyes you will see the real feelings of a person"

is true

because why can't you see?

that i am

alone

crying

and

dying

inside?*

©IGMS
the twin of love is pain
 Nov 2015 Leslie Jade
K Alexys
i dont know how to describe this feeling..

of being lost.
of being a disappointment
being wrong.
an example of why the generation before me is disappointed.

i feel like there is no where i belong.

and as long as i am here i will continue to feel this

but theres nothing to do because emotions are fearless

they dont care who you are or what youve been through

they excite and hurt and completely control you.

no matter what i try to do....

i cant help but feel like i just belong dead with you.
 Oct 2015 Leslie Jade
ZT
Waiting
 Oct 2015 Leslie Jade
ZT
Waiting
I keep on waiting
For him to have that feeling
The same to what I'm having

But waiting seems like forever
Turning the burning passion just into a fever
Slowly being remedied by the cold truth
That I might be waiting for nothing
Just waiting for someone who might not be waiting for me *****.
 Oct 2015 Leslie Jade
ZT
BLUSH
 Oct 2015 Leslie Jade
ZT
A faint color of pink
Showing on my cheek
Because Of a simple wink

From faint now its clearly showing
The color of pink on my cheek
Undeniably i am blushing
Just because, at me, i see him smiling

The pink turns into red
just because of a single line he said
My face now flushed
Like it had been punched

The red turns to blue
Like a bruise turns into that color
When I realized it wasn't true
That wink
That smile
That line

Was just situation
A trick made by my imagination
 Oct 2015 Leslie Jade
Mike Essig
I moved to this town
fifty-four years ago
to live in a house that
was a two and a half
bedroom half a double
with two parents and
six siblings in a
welter of tumultuous
chaos and disarray.

Being the oldest, I
hated the confused
congestion and constant
bickering and fled
at every opportunity
to the houses of
friends who had their
own rooms, enough to eat,
and even peace and quiet.

At seventeen, having
graduated from high school
(barely), I was out
the door in a heartbeat
and on to hippiedom,
Europe, the middle east
the draft, drugs, Vietnam,
marriage and my own life.

Now, forty-seven years
later, I live in a small
apartment in the other half
of that same double house
with only a cat.

My parents are departed.
Strangers own their half.

It is quiet and serene
and all mine.
                      Forty-seven
years of running to end up
a foot from where I began.

Even Odysseus couldn't
compete with that feat.

I enjoy living here now.

It is everything it
wasn't when I was a kid.

Still, the irony would
be apparent to an idiot.

Forty-seven years of
running in a circle.
Life, not so much a
journey as eternal return.

  ~mce
 Oct 2015 Leslie Jade
NV
when last
 Oct 2015 Leslie Jade
NV
when last have i had a 3am kind of conversation,
with my star like emotions scattered all over the darkest parts of me,
mimicking the sky,
my moon like persona that always returns back to hiding me away.  
when last have i felt safe enough to let somebody in,
to not have visions of my vulnerability being tied to the bed after he locks the door behind him,
his voice like some sort of broken record that keeps on repeating that
"it's gonna be okay."
when last have i had a shoulder to cry on that isn't my own,
for my neck to stop worrying that the tear filled sea on either side won't get waves big enough to drown me.  
when last okay,
when last has it felt good to be me.
 Oct 2015 Leslie Jade
yass min
what's wrong with you ?
they ask me all  the time.
i'm wrong  with me ,
i'm too much to live with .
 Oct 2015 Leslie Jade
celey
ask her
 Oct 2015 Leslie Jade
celey
she doesn't talk about
how her dad left
immediately after finding out
about her existence
she doesn't talk about
how her mom ignored
the not so straight lines on her wrists
how she was never confronted
about self harming
why she's so loud
what she doesn't like
and does like
the bottle under her bed
why her curtains are always drawn
so close together
almost as tight as her throat constricts
when she's looked at
how her day's been
she doesn't talk about all that
because she's never asked.
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